spit or swallow

[xzchief]

Jimbosis, get out now!

Based on what you wrote, I'm sorry you got tricked. That said, you've been married eight years. Unless there's some outstanding reason she won't give head (new baby, STDs, dental work, etc.) that you didn't mention, do you really think she'll resume giving you blow jobs eight years from now? Do you think you'll stop wanting them at some point?

Your wife did you a favor; she was bluntly honest with you. There's not much interpretation for an outsider like me to have to make. She's probably not going to change her mind. You have to make a decision: put up wtih the present situation or get out of there.

Good luck,

chief

 

[SexyChele]

Wow! I don't think that a wife not giving her husband a b/j should necessarily be grounds for divorce. You really feel that way, xzchief? I mean, after 8 years of marriage, I would suspect there are children, a house, other commitments and ties that keep a couple bound together. Marriage is, after all, more than sex.

I would agree that if one could find sexual bliss within marriage, that would be optimum. However, to leave a marriage relationship simply over the idea of oral sex......well, that just seems a tad drastic in my eyes.

But then, what do I know? I'm single.

 

[juicylips]

I am thinking..

Wow! I don't think that a wife not giving her husband a b/j should necessarily be grounds for divorce. You really feel that way, xzchief? I mean, after 8 years of marriage, I would suspect there are children, a house, other commitments and ties that keep a couple bound together. Marriage is, after all, more than sex.

I would agree that if one could find sexual bliss within marriage, that would be optimum. However, to leave a marriage relationship simply over the idea of oral sex......well, that just seems a tad drastic in my eyes.

But then, what do I know? I'm single.

The same thing here, Chele. A little extreme reason to end a marriage. There has got to be therapy or marriage counseling. I would try those routes before "getting out" especially if there are children invovled.

From Jim's posts, I think he loves his wife but is frustrated by this "problem".

Cassidy

 

[MysticSwing]

Re: Some of us will...

Sweet Mystic, some of us WILL kiss our lover/gf/wife after she has taken our cum, and some of us will even eat them out after we have cum in them. *S*

So, there are a few of us who enjoy teasing and treating our lovers etc with tongue lashings! *S*

Coven,
Yes! Yes! Yes! And it's women like me who just love men like you! *grin*... (Eating us out after you've cum in us? mmmm... A definite turn on!)
~~ Mystic

 

[MysticSwing]

BTW:

I have to agree with SexyChele and juicylips... I find leaving your wife because she doesn't give you a B/J a bit too much. As already said, how about marriage counseling or therapy? or how about simply setting down with your wife and talking things out?
~~ Mystic

 

[1ck]

I understand Jim's frustration. After reading the postings of some the women, it only serves to aggravate the situation further. I am married, 7 years, and love my wife very much. No way would I consider divorcing her over the lack of bjs. If, however, I were to be lucky enough to get a good one, and IF (meaning never in a million years) she were to actually swallow my seed, I would find it totally erotic to kiss her deeply and passionately afterwards, tasting the residual in her mouth! I love the postings of some of the ladies, especially those with a passion for all things oral. Again, frustration...

 

[xzchief]

I didn't say Jim should get a divorce. I did say he has to decide between getting out and accepting his wife's stance on oral sex. Strictly based on what Jim originally posted--to be fair, I don't have his wife's perspective--his wife isn't interested in giving blowjobs any more. If there's a reason to believe the situation is temporary, I'd think differently but I haven't seen such a reason yet.

Marriage is more than sex, sure, but there's no sense staying in a marriage that is frustrating. Perhaps some will disagree but I don't think quietly finding someone on the side who gives head while staying married "for the sake of the children" is better than divorce. Life is too short to worry about dividing assets rather than dividing happiness.

Decide what's most important to you and go get it. If that's a wife, house and kids, fine. If that's regular oral sex, fine. Then again, I'm single and I'd never marry without a prenupital agreement. It's not romantic but neither's divorce.

chief

 

[juicylips]

I didn't say Jim should get a divorce. I did say he has to decide between getting out and accepting his wife's stance on oral sex. Strictly based on what Jim originally posted--to be fair, I don't have his wife's perspective--his wife isn't interested in giving blowjobs any more. If there's a reason to believe the situation is temporary, I'd think differently but I haven't seen such a reason yet.

Marriage is more than sex, sure, but there's no sense staying in a marriage that is frustrating. Perhaps some will disagree but I don't think quietly finding someone on the side who gives head while staying married "for the sake of the children" is better than divorce. Life is too short to worry about dividing assets rather than dividing happiness.

Decide what's most important to you and go get it. If that's a wife, house and kids, fine. If that's regular oral sex, fine. Then again, I'm single and I'd never marry without a prenupital agreement. It's not romantic but neither's divorce.

chief

Geez.... you are such a romantic....

Finding someone on the "side" just for oral sex?? I think you are giving us all the wrong impression of you here,

Very practical advice. But love and sex mixed together like this are very rarely that basic.

Cassidy

 

[xzchief]

Geez.... you are such a romantic....

Finding someone on the "side" just for oral sex?? I think you are giving us all the wrong impression of you here,

Very practical advice. But love and sex mixed together like this are very rarely that basic.

Cassidy

I like to call myself a romantic-turned-cynic. I used to be a full-fledged romantic but then came one too many crushes on classmates who moved 1,000 miles away, one too many crushes on married co-workers, and one too many crushes on lesbians (no, they didn't let me watch ).

I can still be romantic but I am much more pragmatic. Another reason I'm still single, I suspect.

By the way, I wouldn't have thought of cheating just for oral sex but someone else posted the idea in this thread.

chief

 

[LatentChaos]

More on the Jimbosis situation

One thing that you might want to discuss with your wife is the possibility that oral sex literally causes a gag reflex. I know that when my fiance goes down on me she has a gag reflex that happens, so she can't do it for very long (around a minute). I never mind though because she was open about it and let me know. She is very intent on overcoming the reflex, so little by little she keeps trying and manages to go longer over time. So talk to you wife and if that's the case she'll feel very relieved and probably go back to doing it. The most important thing is to not make it a life or death issue of "how dare you not go down on me." Be gentle and caring about it and she will appreciate that.

 

[juicylips]

I like to call myself a romantic-turned-cynic. I used to be a full-fledged romantic but then came one too many crushes on classmates who moved 1,000 miles away, one too many crushes on married co-workers, and one too many crushes on lesbians (no, they didn't let me watch ).

I can still be romantic but I am much more pragmatic. Another reason I'm still single, I suspect.

chief

So, you are a cynical, romantic, pragmatist?

You seem to have good reasons for it by looking at your post. You are picking the wrong girls, chief. When was the last time you had a b/j? Did she spit or swallow?

Cassidy

 

[Maniac9538]

I read these postings, not just on with what's going on with Jim. But also some of the comments some of the ladies here made and got to thinking 'Am I like that?' 'Am I one of those guys whose so homo-phobic that I won't taste my own cum?' and I thought about my last couple of times I had oral sex and I would say No I'm not one of those idiots. I remember one time I hooked up with a girl from work and she had given me a mind blowing B/J, best one yet to date. But anyways I hadn't had sex for a while and so I unloaded a large load into her mouth. Actually some was dribbling down her chin as she stood up and I licked it off of her chin, lips and then french kissed her. That was my second time kissing a woman with a mouthfull of my own cum and I still love the thought, and no I'm not gay, just comfortable with my sexuality. After that I went down on her and well lets say she was a gusher and she licked her own juices off of my face like she was a cat licking up milk. To this day she and I talk and she tells me about idiots who don't 1)recirpocate orally and 2)kisses her when she's got a mouth full of thier cum. One thing I'm not sure others have done and I may be called a freak for it, but one girl I had intercourse in both her pussy as well as Anal and licked both of them, of course she enjoyed me eating out her pussy....You can call me sick or twisted or wahtever but I do know is she came 2 more times while I was tickling her asshole with my tongue.

 

[xzchief]

So, you are a cynical, romantic, pragmatist?

You seem to have good reasons for it by looking at your post. You are picking the wrong girls, chief. When was the last time you had a b/j? Did she spit or swallow?

Cassidy

There you go, Cassidy! Thanks for summing me up much quicker than I could summarize myself.

Last year, when I was in Washington D.C. She never finished and that sucked, so to speak. I don't think I pick the wrong women though. My taste in women is excellent; my timing is awful though.

chief

 

[juicylips]

Actually some was dribbling down her chin as she stood up and I licked it off of her chin, lips and then french kissed her. That was my second time kissing a woman with a mouthfull of my own cum and I still love the thought, and no I'm not gay, just comfortable with my sexuality. After that I went down on her and well lets say she was a gusher and she licked her own juices off of my face like she was a cat licking up milk. To this day she and I talk and she tells me about idiots who don't 1)recirpocate orally and 2)kisses her when she's got a mouth full of thier cum. One thing I'm not sure others have done and I may be called a freak for it, but one girl I had intercourse in both her pussy as well as Anal and licked both of them, of course she enjoyed me eating out her pussy....You can call me sick or twisted or wahtever but I do know is she came 2 more times while I was tickling her asshole with my tongue.

Sick? Twisted? Freak?
You have got to be kidding!!!!!!

Your my kind of man!!!

Cassidy,
whose pulse and heat index factor is considerably higher now...*whew*

 

[juicylips]

She never finished and that sucked, so to speak.

chief

You did mean to phrase it that way, right??


Cassidy

 

[xzchief]

Yes, I did. That's what made the line funny, at least to me.

chief

 

[xzchief]

Sick? Twisted? Freak?
You have got to be kidding!!!!!!

Your my kind of man!!!

Cassidy,
whose pulse and heat index factor is considerably higher now...*whew*

You all right over there, Cassidy? Does anyone need to give you mouth-to-mouth?

chief

 

[juicylips]

*BRRRRRR*

You all right over there, Cassidy? Does anyone need to give you mouth-to-mouth?

chief

It was kinda early for a cold shower, but I think it done the trick.

Back to my more normal "juicylips: state of being.

Cassidy,
still drying off and who can always put a good mouth to use...

 

[xzchief]

Just checking. By the way, what is a normal "Juicylips state of mind"?

chief

 

[juicylips]

Just checking. By the way, what is a normal "Juicylips state of mind"?

chief

That is when I am coherent and can type and think at the same time.

What else could it be?

Cassidy

 

[xzchief]

Of course that's what it means. Couldn't possibly mean anything else.

chief

 

[Jimbosis]

Well.... Here's the deal....

The ladies are exactly right. I do have 2 very beautiful children 3 and 6 years old, as well as a dog, cat, great house, shitty mortgage and all the other crap.

Saying that I have often thought of saying "fuckit". I need my life to be more than living and working for the other people in my life and the material things that come along with it. I need my own fulfillment as well, otherwise why continue to work 50-60 hours a week so that everyone else can be happy.

But then I look at my bosses divorce that left him bankrupt and I realize that is probably not the answer either. So should I try therapy or counseling and all the bullshit that goes along with that. NO, I dont have the time for that nor do I think I should put myself through that when its not really my fault. I do not feel like the one that is fucked up here, she is.

So, my other options are to (1) read these stories and fantasize about the wife and life that I dont have. To dream about being with the hot ladies that have been kind enough to talk about swallowing and all the nasty things that they like. Boy, do you ladies drive me crazy!!! And I will tell you, I hope your men appreciate all of you. They dont know how lucky they are. It has been very revealing to know that there are so many hot and sexy ladies out there. Revealing and frustrating that I dont have one. Sometimes it makes me feel even worse that my wife is such a stick in the mud. But then again, it makes me feel better because I know that there are others out there that want all this great and nasty sex like I do. I am not a total perv. Just a bit of a perv. (I was thinking I would like to suck my cum out of my wifes ass too. Damn thats cool !!!) Or (2) have an affair with someone that would like to just suck my dick all day and have me do nasty things to her. So far I have not reverted to # (2). But I am not sure its that far off. Losing all my money in a divorce is a big deterrent.

Anyway, I apologize for the length of this bitch session. And I really want to say thanks to all of you that took the time to give me some really great advise and support. I really do appreciate it. Now I guess I will go read a great story about a cock sucking slut and forget about my troubles for a few seconds. LOL.

Thanks again all,
Jim

 

[Show&Tell]

Sucking w/o swallowing is like dinner w/o dessert!

Love to suck, love to swallow. Esp. love to feel a cock in my mouth as it cums and see the look on his face...knowing I gave him such pleasure! Of course, I didn't always like to...not until I met a guy who didn't act like an asshole a/b it and I finally did not feel pressured--that's when I began to enjoy (and crave) it.

And I love being eaten...I have a lover now who is the world's BEST pussy eater. And b/t/w I was the first one to give him a bj in many years. We are orally compatible!!!

 

[Avery_Chisholm]

I'm sorry but i have the world's BEST

pussylicker on the planet

 

[LukkyKnight]

Re: I'm sorry but i have the world's BEST

(I'm he best) pussylicker on the planet

Ya know, I'll dispute that even though I don't think it's a competitive undertaking. Best is about the combination of two people, not something one can develop solo... it's feedback which guides "best" 'cause the experience is a sharing. IMHO