Speaking of RL...

[sophia jane]

Does anyone in your life know about you "secret life" at lit? My best friend knows, and he is encouraging me to tell others (family), but I don't feel comfortable about it. Wondering what other's experiences have been with this.

SJ

 

[ElizabethWest]

My sister and mother both know. My sister has read my story. I have only met one Litizen in person. Another I keep in touch with but we've never met. Some of my work friends have read my story. I haven't gotten any negative feedback. My coworkers laughed their asses off when I told them, but you have to be careful which ones you tell. My mother just rolls her eyes when I'm writing and says, "But does it have to be porn?"

 

[Guest]

 

[cantdog]

It comes under the heading of private endeavor. I don't advertise it in the papers, and I don't give my employers the option of deciding if it is acceptable. Now that no less a Personage than the Attorney General of the United States has vowed to stop all pornsters with the aggressive use of the full resources of the Justice department, I think it behooves you all to think how many people you ought to let on to.

This is no joke.

You can be seriously hounded if the chips fall that way. I suggest a reasonable level of prudence. I don't think a lot of details ought to be put forth in a discussion like this one.

 

[minsue]

My husband knows and used to post here for a little while. I outed myself to my family when I printed off the thread of well wishers for my niece after she broke her arm and then her skull within a week. Actually, I outed myself to my brother and my sis-in-law. It was my brother who felt the need to say, "Look dad, isn't that sweet? Mindy is reading to your five year old grandaugher from a site called Literotica."

Beyond that, if anyone from RL has recognized me they haven't said a word. I do use my face in AVs at times so it may well happen eventually. It's not the thought of someone I know finding out that bothers me as much as it is facing someone every day in life who has seen some of my other AVs. It's bad enough knowing my parents have read my poems, though I certainly hope they don't know that the nekkid chick pictured in one is me. *cringe*

 

[carsonshepherd]

It comes under the heading of private endeavor. I don't advertise it in the papers, and I don't give my employers the option of deciding if it is acceptable. Now that no less a Personage than the Attorney General of the United States has vowed to stop all pornsters with the aggressive use of the full resources of the Justice department, I think it behooves you all to think how many people you ought to let on to.

This is no joke.

You can be seriously hounded if the chips fall that way. I suggest a reasonable level of prudence. I don't think a lot of details ought to be put forth in a discussion like this one.

Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you, yannow?

My dearest RL best friend (A well-loved AHer) knows. One other friend I told, and with my permission she told her husband. That's three. My boyfriend knows I write erotica for the internet but doesn't know where, or under what name. Not that I'm keeping it from him; he just isn't really interested. I doubt I'll tell anyone else. None of their business.

 

[SeaCat]

My wife knows. My parents, I don't think they know, not that they would give a sh*t either way. My brother would try to save my soul. (I may have to tell him about it one of these days just to see his reaction.) Work? Not on your life. I would be fired in an instant. (I already get enough shit from them just because I'm the only male on the floor.) As for real life friends? Other than my wife, what are those?

Cat

 

[Boota]

I'm an open book. I don't care who knows, and anyone who has a problem with it can feel free to attempt aerial copulation with an oscillating pastry. I'm proud of my story on Lit and I'd show it to anyone. If someone decides to come after me, such as the new Attorney General, well then good. I love to fight. If it would take me out of a job, I don't want to work for those pricks anyway.

 

[Guest]

Most of my friends read my first stories before I ever posted them here. One sent me a link to Lit and encouraged me to submit my stories. Even ny mother, whom I don't get along with at all, Knows I write erotica. I have never been ashamed of it and in fact I am rather proud of the fact that the few stories I have posted here have done as well as they have.

Just like other aspects of my "real life" I have nothing to hide.

 

[English Lady]

My husband knows (posted on lit for a bit...not the AH though) and has created 2 sites one for y stories and one for an erotic community for me My sister knows but thats it, she's not read anything of mine and a real life friend who stumbled across my site some how knows....thats kinda embarassing but I think we're over it now *L* (he's a staunch catholic lad, met me on retreat )

 

[Belegon]

A surprising number of people in my real life know. My wife and parents, my sister and my oldest male friend, and several people from work. More people know because my very best friend (aside from my wife) is one of the first people I revealed it to and she loves to share things. I have had a couple of embaressing moments when Biplaymate420 has told and shared my/our work and I was not aware of it. Her husband and my wife basically tend to treat us like kids with a new toy who will "get over it". Whatever, at least they are letting us play on paper...BTW, our second chapter of our collaboration is now up, and it is the first story ever posted under BP420's byline. Any encouraging words here would be grand....

The New Neighbors Ch. 2: A Dinner Invitation

 

[scheherazade_79]

Originally Posted by cantdog
It comes under the heading of private endeavor. I don't advertise it in the papers, and I don't give my employers the option of deciding if it is acceptable. Now that no less a Personage than the Attorney General of the United States has vowed to stop all pornsters with the aggressive use of the full resources of the Justice department, I think it behooves you all to think how many people you ought to let on to.

This is no joke.

You can be seriously hounded if the chips fall that way. I suggest a reasonable level of prudence. I don't think a lot of details ought to be put forth in a discussion like this one.

I agree on the prudence, but doesn't the fact that the Attorney General is making threats make the whole thing more exciting, though? It's almost like fighting in the resistance in WW2!

I outed myself to my sister, and she found it both shocking and hilarious. I've told a few friends that I trust and they find it pretty amusing, too. Saying that, I am careful about who I tell. There are lots of small minds out there, and while I don't care what people say behind my back, I wouldn't want to put my parents through any kind of embarrassment.

 

[Weird Harold]

Does anyone in your life know about you "secret life" at lit? My best friend knows, and he is encouraging me to tell others (family), but I don't feel comfortable about it. Wondering what other's experiences have been with this.

My Mother, both of my daughters, and at least one of my four brothers I know for sure know about Lit. I'm not sure about the other three brothers and "my sister the prude" but it wouldn't bother me a great deal if they do know. The only one I deliberately avoid talking about Literotica or Porn with is "my sister the prude."

My "secret life at Lit" isn't much of secret, but I don't necessarily advertise it with flashing neon lights and airplanes towing banners, either. It's apart of my life I'm not ashamed of and not afraid of -- if someone is comfortable talking about Lit or Porn, then fine' if it make sthem uncomfortble, that's their problem but I'll not rub it in their face or deliberately exacerbate their discomfort.

 

[rgraham666]

Everyone in my family and all my friends know.

My mom isn't shocked just terribly, terribly disappointed. My dad doesn't approve but he doesn't approve of what time the sun came up this morning. My siblings aren't surprised, I've never done anything normal in my life. They're quite supportive.

My friends are supportive as well.

I'm with Boota. If some one has a problem with my porn, it's their problem.

 

[impressive]

.....

 

[matriarch]

I've written poetry, since I was a kid, and my family know that.

None of them know I write smut, or know anything about Lit (at least not through me), and I have no intention of telling them. If they read my work, then I would also be outing myself to them. My parents are 84 and 85. I have no intention of telling them at this time of their life.

Three close RL friends who aware of my sexuality are also aware of the site and what I write, but only one has bothered to read them.

The only people who know are you guys, and my readers, and those of my readers who have become friends.

I am very careful of exactly whom I tell.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

My mother and stepfather are out of the picture, and I have no other close living relations.

Where I used to work, most of the girls knew that I wrote stories. Some — the literate ones — had read one or two of those stories, before I started trying to write por. . . .erotica. No one has ever volunteered to cast an eye over anything I have written since I started posting stories at Literotica.

Now that I’ve moved, there is no one where I work who knows that I write.

At present, only my boyfriend knows that I’m writing, and he’s never betrayed any desire to read my stories. (I believe he’s under the misapprehension that I write mushy romance stories.)

So, you lucky Literotica patrons are the chosen few who get to read my stuff. Poor things!

Nobody knows that Virtual Burlesque is ME.

 

[~photoguy~]

this is my private escape from RL

 

[TxRad]

Boota kind of summed it up for me too... At my age and time in life, I could care less who knows. For that matter most people who really know me don't find it strange or wierd at all, just me. As for jobs, I work in the oil fields. Like sex stories are going to get me tossed out. I don't think so. If it did then great, i want to retire anyway...

 

[Poussin]

.....

 

[Seattle Zack]

I'm with cantdog on this one ... I posted this a few months back, but I think it bears repeating ....
-------------
M. Christian, who's a well known author and editor of porn, recently wrote a column about this on erotica-readers.com:

"The shock of September 11 is subsiding. Each day adds distance. Distance diminishes fear. Cautiously our lives are returning to normal. But "normal" will never be the same again. We have seen the enemy and the enemy is among us .... the publishers, producers, peddlers and purveyors of pornography."

It didn't take me long to find that quote, just a few minutes of searching. It came from an LDS Web site, Meridian Magazine, but I could have picked fifty others. Maybe it's because of the election, or because of a few horror stories that have recently come my way, but I think it's time to have a chat about what it can mean to ... well, do what we do.

We write pornography. Say it with me: por-nog-ra-phy. Not 'erotica'—a word too many writers use to distance themselves, or even elevate themselves, from the down and dirty stuff on most adult bookstore shelves—but smut, filth ... and so forth.

I've mentioned before how it's dangerous to draw a line in the sand, putting fellow writers on the side of 'smut' and others in 'erotica.' The Supreme Court couldn't decide where to scrawl that mark—what chance do we have?

What good are our petty semantics when too many people would love to see us out of business, thrown in jail, or much, much worse? They don't see a bit of difference between what I write and what you write. We can sit and argue all we like over who's innocent and who's guilty until our last meals arrive, but we'll still hang together.

I think it's time to face some serious facts about what we do. 'Swinging from a rope' hyperbole aside, we face some serious risks for putting pen to paper or file to disk. I know far too many people who have been fired, stalked, threatened, had their writing used against them in divorces and child custody cases, and much worse.

People hate us. Not everyone, certainly, but even in oases like San Francisco people who write about sex can suffer tremendous difficulties. Even the most—supposedly—tolerant companies have a hard time with an employee who writes smut. A liberal court will still look down on a defendant who's published stories in Naughty Nurses. The religious fanatic will most certainly throw the first, second, third stone—or as many as it takes—at a filth peddler.

This is what we have to accept. Sure, things are better than they have been before and, if we're lucky, they will slowly progress despite the fundamentalism of the current government, but we all have to open our eyes to the ugly truths that can accompany a decision to write pornography.

What can we do? Well, aside from joining the ACLU there isn't a lot to we can directly do to protect ourselves if the law, or Bible-wielding fanatics, break down our doors, but there are a few relatively simple techniques we can employ to be safe. Take these as you will, and keep in mind that I'm not an expert in the law, but most importantly, try to accept that what you are doing can be dangerous.

Assess your risks. If you have kids, if you have a sensitive job, if you have touchy parents, if you live in a conservative city or state, you should be extra careful about your identity and what you are writing. Even if you think you have nothing to lose, you do—your freedom. Many cities and states have very loose pornography laws, and all it would take is a cop, a sheriff, or a district attorney to decide you needed to be behind bars to put you there.

Yes, I think we should all be proud of what we do, what we create, but use some common sense about how easily you can be identified or found. If you have anything to lose, use a pseudonym, a post office box, never post your picture, and so forth. Women, especially, should be extra careful. I know far too many female writers who have been stalked or Internet-attacked because of what they do.

Keep your yap shut. Don't tell your bank, your boss, your accountant, your plumber, or anyone at all, what you do—unless you know them very well. When someone asks, I say I'm a writer. If I know them better, I say I write all kinds of things—including smut. If I know them very, very, very well then maybe I'll show them my newest book. People, it shouldn't have to be said, are very weird. Just because you like someone doesn't mean you should divulge that you just sold a story to Truckstop Transsexuals.

Remember that line we drew between 'pornography' and 'erotica'? Well, here's another. You might be straight, you might be bi, but in the eyes of those who despise pornography you are just as damned and perverted as a filthy sodomite. It makes me furious to meet a homophobic pornographer. Every strike against gay rights is another blow to your civil liberties and is a step closer to you being censored, out of a job, out of your house, or in jail. You can argue this all you want, but I've yet to see a hysterical homophobe who isn't anti-smut. For you to be anti-gay isn't just an idiotic prejudice, it's giving the forces of puritanical righteousness even more ammunition for their war—on all of us.

I could go on, but I think I've given you enough to chew on. I believe that writing about sex is something that no one should be ashamed of, but I also think that we all need to recognize and accept that there are many out there who do not share those feelings. Write what you want, say what you believe, but do it with your eyes open. Understand the risks, accept the risks and be smart about what you do—so you can keep working and growing as a writer for many years to come.

 

[sophia jane]

Well, you've all given me alot to think about. I do have kids, and I do live in a conservative area. I know people wouldn't understand my stories, why I write them and why I will continue to write them.
I am tired of being two people, though. I think that's where my dilemna is. I have my porn-writer, sex-lover side, and I have the mom who bakes for the PTA side. I'm sure alot of you understand what I mean.
But, I guess it's worth it to be two people if that's what it takes. It still strikes me as fucking hilarious that I write porn. No one would ever expect my RL day to day persona to be Sophia Jane.

SJ

 

[pop_54]

I'm an open book. I don't care who knows, and anyone who has a problem with it can feel free to attempt aerial copulation with an oscillating pastry. I'm proud of my story on Lit and I'd show it to anyone. If someone decides to come after me, such as the new Attorney General, well then good. I love to fight. If it would take me out of a job, I don't want to work for those pricks anyway.

I'm with you all the way there, I'm an open book, that's me in the avatar, (it's not my parrot though I just borrowed him for the photo), oh; and I don't always wear a patch. But seriously, the whole family, wife and kids know I'm on here, and roughly what I'm chatting about, and that I write wacko stories, who the hell gives a toss.

Lucky for us over here we don't have to suffer the US Attorney General, our own's bad enough, but an erotic site like Lit would be so far down the list of porn related stuff, not worth messing about with in the eyes of our regulators.

 

[obg]

I'm with you, for the most part

Well, you've all given me alot to think about. I do have kids, and I do live in a conservative area. I know people wouldn't understand my stories, why I write them and why I will continue to write them.
I am tired of being two people, though. I think that's where my dilemna is. I have my porn-writer, sex-lover side, and I have the mom who bakes for the PTA side. I'm sure alot of you understand what I mean.
But, I guess it's worth it to be two people if that's what it takes. It still strikes me as fucking hilarious that I write porn. No one would ever expect my RL day to day persona to be Sophia Jane.

SJ

No one knows, not even my wife. I found this place when she entered a stage in her life when she lost all interest in sex. Not her fault, just part of aging. Since I have no intentions of cheating, I keep a low profile generally, voting often, giving feedback not as much as I should, and submitting occasionally. Friends have asked if I knew of any good porn sites, but I've never given 'em this site, even though it's the only one I frequent.