Spanking 101

[easygoing123go]

Spanking

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Hi, my girlfriend has ask me to spank her, I need some advice, how hard, how long, etc. with a flogger or my hand. and it's a fanstsy of hers to be spank.. I'm a newbie this.. Help Needed..

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Hi, my girlfriend has ask me to spank her, I need some advice, how hard, how long, etc. with a flogger or my hand. and it's a fanstsy of hers to be spank.. I'm a newbie this.. Help Needed..

First, you need to discuss this with *her.* WE can't tell you how hard or how long to spank her, because our needs and desires aren't hers.

You say you're a newbie [at] this; one of the first things we'll always advise a person first getting into BDSM is to communicate with your partner. Only the two of you know what (generally) you want, and what you can handle.

The second thing I'll advise is for both of you to visit the BDSM Library thread, and read through some of the topics that pique your interests... then discuss what you've read, and what you thought and *felt* about what you read. I *won't* advise that you read the BDSM stories here in Lit, because most of them are very much fantasy and fantastical, and have little to no relation with the realities of BDSM relationships.

For many people who have not participated in the BDSM culture, "spanking" often is thought of as the classic, female (pyl*) lying across the male's (PYL's) lap, sometimes clothed, partly clothed, or unclothed, and being spanked barehanded. In the culture, however, "spanking" can denote many, many more things than just that. The two of you need to settle on the meaning(s) of the terminology you use - that's part of the communication mentioned above.

Good luck, and welcome to BDSM Talk. The other portion of our forum, the BDSM Café, is less aimed at discussion of BDSM topics, and more at discussion of damn near anything from the viewpoints of people who live or practice in the BDSM culture, whether those viewpoints are particularly BDSM-related or not. It's a lighter and less formal discussion area than Talk.

* - PYL/pyl = Pick Your Label: Dom, Master, Sadist, Top, etc., and pyl = submissive, slave, masochist, bottom, etc.