Sorry, that was me...

[NoJo]

I always thought that it was a biological impossibily for farts to be both deafening and gaggingly foul-smelling. But I was wrong.

I blame the sudden increase of Sorbitol in my diet since I switched to sugar-free gum

 

[impressive]

That's 'cause if they're both deafening and foul, they're usually shit.

 

[Emerald_Dragon]

sorbitol is also a laxative. Watch how much you eat or you may have wet farts to boot

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Joe, your frankness is an inspiration and a warning to us all.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Not to worry, Joe. The reason farts stink is so deaf people can enjoy them too

 

[cheerful_deviant]

I would have been soooooo much happier if I hadn't opened this thread.

 

[DesertPirate]

That's 'cause if they're both deafening and foul, they're usually shit.

The embarrased one, one whose fart has a lump in it

 

[TE999]

Thanks for sharing.

I thot the pig farm exploded.

 

[Guest]

Not to worry, Joe. The reason farts stink is so deaf people can enjoy them too

*snerk*
..

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

*snerk*
..

I might be laughing, too, if I'd been upwind.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[SensualCealy]

Those loose ones are Hershey squirts!

Sorbitol, Asparatame, Stavia they all act like a laxitive. Better idea, switch back to regular gum and reduce the number of pieces you have in a day.

Asparatame eats wholes in your stomach!! (so Ive been told, teens know everything so don't even question it! lol)

C

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Just blame the dog.

 

[impressive]

Just blame the dog.

Note to self: Get a dog.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Note to self: Get a dog.

Works well with any pet, child or elderly person as well.

 

[TxRad]

Banana farts, silent but deadly

 

[impressive]

Banana farts, silent but deadly

Now I have the "Banana Phone" earworm ... but with stinky lyrics.

 

[TxRad]

Now I have the "Banana Phone" earworm ... but with stinky lyrics.

My work is done.

 

[DesertPirate]

Works well with any pet, child or elderly person as well.

For some reason the wife never believes me when I blame the cat or the grandkids?

 

[LoquaciousLady]

I always thought that it was a biological impossibily for farts to be both deafening and gaggingly foul-smelling. But I was wrong.

You're supposed to save those for bedtime when you can let them loose then suddenly yank the covers over the head of an unsuspecting bed partner and giggle maniacally as they struggle to breath without becoming nauseated in the dutch oven. Errr - so I've been told.

 

[DesertPirate]

You're supposed to save those for bedtime when you can let them loose then suddenly yank the covers over the head of an unsuspecting bed partner and giggle maniacally as they struggle to breath without becoming nauseated in the dutch oven. Errr - so I've been told.

Tried that once, she was NOT amused

Or course there was the time we both were severly aflicted and surprised that some of the wallpaer in the bedroom didn't succumb to the green cloud

 

[LoquaciousLady]

Oddly enough few partners are amused by that game. Their loss, I guess.

I know what you mean about the wallpaper, though. There have been nights in my marriage that some suspect Chinese we both ate has led me to wonder if either of us would wake up in the morning or if the fumes would kill us both in our sleep. The JP/minister never mentions that part in the wedding vows. "In sickness and health" doesn't seem adequate to cover some stomach maladies.

 

[TE999]

If this occurs in public *gasp*, turn to the person closest to you and say: "That's right. Look at me so they think I did it.!"

Works every time.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

If this occurs in public *gasp*, turn to the person closest to you and say: "That's right. Look at me so they think I did it.!"

Works every time.

That works great on elevators. Turn your head towards some victim and grimace. Everyone else will follow suit.

 

[DesertPirate]

That works great on elevators. Turn your head towards some victim and grimace. Everyone else will follow suit.

Evil

But oh so effective

 

[DesertPirate]

Wonder if there are any other ideas out there