Sometimes...grr...

[curiouslez84]

How would being straight fix the situation? Would you still be the same person, who was interested in rights for same-sex couples? Like Vail just said, people who hate don't care who you are inside - plenty of straight people who have spoken out for gay rights have also been the victims of anti-gay hate crimes.

How can you prevent this from happening in the future? Extremely butch women will probably always get pegged as dykes whether they are or not, but femme lesbians can very easily turn "invisible" in a pressure situation. I have written essays about the problem of femme invisibility, because it is a real pain in the ass for those of us who live with it every day, but it can also be useful if you are being attacked. I believe in integrity to yourself and visibility to the public but I also believe in saving your own skin. If somebody is chasing you and saying HEY LESBIAN I'M GONNA KILL YOU there is absolutely no shame in turning around and saying "but I'm not gay!" It's about self-preservation. If you're with your girlfriend and you're in a hostile situation, stop holding hands, don't kiss, etc. If you are femme, you have an easy getaway that will keep you from getting your ass kicked. (Again, if you are butch...take self-defense classes because they WILL hound you.)

Maybe it's because I live in a major city (Washington DC) with a rather liberal population, but I don't see any reason to hate "the straight world." Don't focus on "the establishment" at times like these...focus on individuals. How many wonderful, kind, gentle straight people do you know? How many assholes attacked you today? I bet the proportion is pretty different. It's not "the straight world" that has a problem with gay people, it's idiot individuals.

Why can't people just accept us? I think it's mostly about religion. Most of the people who can't accept gay people feel it's against God to put two people of the same sex together. Some of them feel sorry for you and want to save you (*cough* my uncle *cough*) and some of them think you're deliberately affronting God and therefore you should be punished. Religion is the cause for a great deal of the hate that happens around the globe every day. They can't accept us because they don't want to accept us, they don't even want to know us. I have a couple of friends who think same-sex marriage is wrong, but they still think I should be able to get married to the woman I've shared my life with almost 10 years. They know me, I am a real person. But people who can't accept us don't want to know us, they don't want to realize that we love our partners just as they love theirs, they don't want to see us as valid human people. They're closed minded and they like it that way, for the most part.

I am a little confused though about where you, Brianna, and Rachel were when this attack was going on. You referred to having to stop answering the door/phone, and you referred to Rachel getting egged at her house and mopping her floor. How many people were doing this, what part of town or campus or whatever were you in when this happened, and how long did it last? The way you've described it - especially the part about it being on the evening news - has left me confused. Can you explain a little more about what happened, now that you might be feeling better?

Yeah, you're right. Opinions are like ass holes: everyone has one. And about your uncle: believe, me I understand. My family totally cut me off - I don't have ANY contact with them AT ALL since I came out, not even Christmas and Thanksgiving. Fortunately, my g/f was always there for me. ^_^

And we live right near a college where a lot of political shit (sorry - I don't like politics 0_0 ) is discussed. That was where the guy (a student) held the press conference. It was for a project, but they tried to shut him down as soon as they realized what he was saying. Too late...

Anyway, Rachel lives about a mile from us. Heh. We're not exactly long-distance neighbors, y'know? Anyway, the guy made quite a fuss. And not all of them were 'Christians'. There were people of different denominations, beliefs, students, etc. all doing this shit. <_<

 

[alaskabibear]

Doesn't sound like a very enlightened university.

Was the "guy" speaking on pro GLBT rights or against? How did he get things so stirred up?

 

[curiouslez84]

Um, haven't you been reading the topic? He was against - he was holding a press conference speaking out against gays, remember? Why do you think they tried to stop him from speaking? 0_0

 

[Kierae]

You had mentioned that you were in Washington - I am assuming you are from the eastern part of the state since this is the only place I can see any of this actually playing out (and I most definitely did not hear about anything like this happening on the western side of the mountain pass). At some point you may want to consider relocating versus dealing with the redneck prejudices that exist over there. I know that there is no way I couldn't live in a liberal city and I have to agree with Etoile's assessment of people in general. Religion doesn't always bring out the good in some folks unfortunately.

~kierae

 

[alaskabibear]

yes I've been following the discussion.

But I just checked in on your last post and forgot that you had mentioned the "press conference" in the first post (sorry). I thought that perhaps he was talking in "favor of", but that the crowd had turned against him.

The point behind the question was that some "gay rights" speeches and protests are intended to be provocative. In those instances I wonder if they are not more harmful than helpful. You know what I mean? You can't poke the tiger and then cry when he bites you. But I see now that wasn't the case here.

Still, it doesn't sound like any university I've ever been involved with.

 

[curiouslez84]

It was just local news, and nothing that anyone was worried about. Then when all the reports started coming in, all they did was respond to the individual police reports. And I'm not saying where I live. But yeah, I do live in WA state, though.

And sorry, I didn't mean to sound rude. Keep in mind that people don't like gays, though. Even if it was a college that everyone heard about all the time, it would be the same way I think.

And it'll die down in a couple weeks. It always does. It's just irritating and I was pissed, is all. I don't see a reason to relocate because of something that happens every few years anyway. Seriously. Some guy'll get pissed and say, "Hey! Why are there so many fucking gays around?" And then the whole thing will start up, and then it'll die down until the next time it happens. It's the same no matter where you go.

-_-

 

[Cheyenne]

Just remember that most straight people are really bi and just afraid to admit to it. Also you wouldn't want to be straight because then you might be just like them.

Where'd you get a wacky idea like that? Either one, actually.

 

[Vail_Indigo]

I'm sorry you had to go through with this. Just remember that most straight people are really bi and just afraid to admit to it. Also you wouldn't want to be straight because then you might be just like them.

I'm assuming that you also mean that most gay people are really bi, as well.

 

[curiouslez84]

I hope not. 0_0 Then there wouldn't be enough people left in the world to play with me.

 

[Vail_Indigo]

I hope not. 0_0 Then there wouldn't be enough people left in the world to play with me.

I'm just saying...
it seems a little strange to say "all straight people are bi but all gays are only gay"
Sort of like saying "Straight people are so closed minded for only liking the opposite sex. Gays are open minded for liking the same sex"

 

[Etoile]

It was just local news, and nothing that anyone was worried about. Then when all the reports started coming in, all they did was respond to the individual police reports. And I'm not saying where I live. But yeah, I do live in WA state, though.

I'm confused again. When what reports started coming in? You mean that the protest (it was more likely an anti-gay protest than an actual "press conference," these things usually are) was just local news, and nobody was really worried about it, but then the anti-gay people participating got a little overexcited and started attacking gay people who happened to be around (or were counter-protesting), and then when the police reports of the attacks started coming in, the police responded to that, but it was still just local news? I'm just trying to get a fix on what happened.

And sorry, I didn't mean to sound rude. Keep in mind that people don't like gays, though. Even if it was a college that everyone heard about all the time, it would be the same way I think.

I've got to disagree with you here. Unless it was Brigham Young University or Bob Jones University, this probably wouldn't have gone down the same way anywhere else. When you say "keep in mind that people don't like gays" I think you are only familiar with the immediate local area...it's not like that elsewhere.

And it'll die down in a couple weeks. It always does. It's just irritating and I was pissed, is all. I don't see a reason to relocate because of something that happens every few years anyway. Seriously. Some guy'll get pissed and say, "Hey! Why are there so many fucking gays around?" And then the whole thing will start up, and then it'll die down until the next time it happens. It's the same no matter where you go.

See, this is what I mean. I'm not saying you need to move to The Castro or P-Town or Greenwich Village, but I think your perspective is way off. It's not the same everywhere you go. Just about every major city in this country - including smaller ones like Cincinnati and Eugene - has a gay community and a pride festival. If you are okay with hate springing forth every few years, then there's no reason to relocate. But by the same token, I'm not sure it's appropriate to complain when it does. Gay people living in anti-gay areas have to expect this. It isn't fair and it isn't right, but it IS going to happen. Just so you know, though, the rest of the country is not like that.

 

[curiouslez84]

*Nods.* Good point.

 

[SweetErika]

You had mentioned that you were in Washington - I am assuming you are from the eastern part of the state since this is the only place I can see any of this actually playing out (and I most definitely did not hear about anything like this happening on the western side of the mountain pass). At some point you may want to consider relocating versus dealing with the redneck prejudices that exist over there. I know that there is no way I couldn't live in a liberal city and I have to agree with Etoile's assessment of people in general. Religion doesn't always bring out the good in some folks unfortunately.

~kierae

Very true. I just spent the past six weeks in Wenatchee mostly, and boy did it suck to hear so many racist comments, drive by so many "Don't kill your baby" billboards, see so little variation in the population and have just about everything closed on Sunday. I don't know how I could manage on that side as a bi, poly, kinky, open-minded, pro-choice, diversity-loving, ignorance-hating person - I start to feel suffocated after spending more than a week or two over there.

But, still, I know there are plenty of good people on that side of the state, and I can see where a nice, straight, conventional, conservative but open-minded person could be happy there.

I'm glad a few people brought up the hypocrisy and ignorance of hating straight people just because some (presumably straight) idiots hate gays. The OP, and the support it received from some, really bothered me. I'm guessing everyone would be up in arms if "straight" were replaced by "gay" or a race or culture, so I'm not sure why some put up with 'heterophobia'.

 

[Nice_Girl]

HI everyone, I am a newbie here and woul;d just like to add that there are homophobic idiots everywhere, its a sad fact. And that very often the most vile of them are closet cases. Maybe they deserve our pity. Don't let then get to you and don't hate them back. That way they win.

 

[Nice_Girl]

PS If its that bad where you live move. There are places as others have said where gays are not (overtly, at least) hated.