Some people's kids: rant ahead!

[SweetCherry]

Arg, have you ever had days where you just wanna discipline other people's kids? Well, I had one of those days.

My sent my 5 year old daughter off to school this morning with her 6 year old cousin. No big deal. They do it every morning, and living in a small town, I don't worry too much for their safety. I live 2 blocks kitty-corner from the school. I sit in my living room and look out the window and I can see the school building.

Well, this afternoon at 3 I was watching for the kids as I do every day. In the distance I see flashes of fast moving child-like shapes. I see one shape that has a bit of pink, meaning it was my daughter in her Barbie coat. I see it moving rapidly down the middle of the street, with another larger shape following behind it.

Going outside to see what the problem is (because that big shape following the little shape concerned me) in my bare feet and t shirt in the cold winter day, I hear my daughter screaming and crying as she races up the mound of snow and throws herself at me, ignoring the fact that her boot has dropped off in the process of climbing the hill. Behind her, still running fast is a boy in about 3rd or 4th grade, laughing, and behind him is my 6 year old nephew yelling "Leave her alone!"

Well, I'm a fairly easy going gal. I try not to let too much bother me. But a kid that size tormenting MY child I was not going to stand for. I started shouting, "Leave my daughter alone! What do you think you're doing?"

He looked at me and said, "What? I was just playing."

I was so aghast. This kid thought it was a game to make my poor little girl scream and cry. I was almost rabid by this time and shouted, "Can't you see sdhe's scared out of her mind? Does it look like she's having fun? I better not ever catch you doing that to either of these kids again!"

I carried my near hysterical daughter into the house and sat there with her in the middle of my floor, and it took a good 10 minutes to calm her down. She was so afraid of this boy that she didn't get out of my lap for another half an hour after that. My daughter has never been one to be afraid of people. She's a happy and bright child, and to see someone make her that afraid I wanted to just scream all sorts of evil and wicked things in his direction. Nobody messes with my kids or any other kid under my care. I'd rip the throat out of anyone who ever laid a hand on any of them.

I just wish some people would teach their children respect and discipline them. I've seen this particular boy being picked on by the kids in his grade. I feel for him in that aspect, but that does NOT give him the right to torment kids smaller and younger than he is. I think I'll be making a call to the school tomorrow and finding out who this kid's parents are. I don't want a repeat performance of this ever again.

 

[InnesLane]

You go get 'em, girl. I'd do the same thing for my kids. No hesitation.

It's amazing how quickly the protective reponse rises up when your children are threatened. I'm sure it's a deep, mammalian sort of thing, way deeper than conscious thought. It goes right back to the origin of the species and is trifled with only at great risk to the perpetrator.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

My son has a little sister (four years younger) and he's learned the difference between a three year old and a seven year old, and knows how to treat small children. I've noticed that kids that do not have younger siblings tend to treat all small children as the same age they are. To him (possibly) your daughter had the discrentionary powers of just another third or fourth grader. It could very well be that he just hasn't had the experience of younger children. And it doesn't always occur to a parent that a child needs to be taught this.

Still -- by the time a kid hits fourth grade he really ought to be world weary enough to know when he's terrifying a kindergartener.

 

[LadyDarkFire]

Sweet Cherry, you were right to be upset. Nobody, especially not someone older who should know better, should EVER do that to a child. I hope your daughter recovers from this, and I agree, sometimes people really need to learn how to raise their kids.

 

[SweetCherry]

She seems to have recoverd. Right now, she's playing "Buzz Lightyear and Jessie the Cowgirl" with her brother, but she still hides her face when I ask her if we can talk about what happened on the way home from school. She'll recover and be her normal Little Princess self in a day or 2. I was just so angry about it. I still am, to be honest. My son, who is only 4, knows what's appropriate play for girls. He knows that boys never hit or torment girls like that. From what I gather, this kid never hit her, but even so, I am repulsed that someone could be so idiotic to not teach their child what's right and wrong when dealing with other kids.

If ever I wanted to spank someone else's child, today was the day. I may only live 2 blocks from the school, but it's going to be a while before I let those kids walk home alone. I want that boy to see me every day for a while and know I'm serious about protecting my kids.

I think KM said something like it a couple days ago: Kinda like a mama grizley protecting her cubs. Well, when it comes to my babies, that about says it all.

 

[Rubyfruit]

Cherry, my anger is rising reading this. I absolutely can't stand a bully. I think you should have a face to face with this child's parents as soon as possible.

I have no qualms about saying things to parents or children (even with the parent present) when problems like this come up.

Recently, I was at the McDonald's playground with my kids. There was a girl my son's age (5), who was teasing him. Saying she wanted to play with him and then hiding. Over and over again, my son would go up the tunnel looking for her at her urging, while she snuck down the slide and into the ball pit. My son is mildly autistic and doesn't see the subtleties of emotions at all. It was becoming obvious that he was upset and really wanted to play with her. The girls father was sitting there watching the whole time. Finally, I just said to my son, loudly, "that girl is just teasing - she doesn't really want to play with you honey - I'm sorry." It damn near broke my heart.

Even though this wasn't a case of intimidation of real bullying, I couldn't have sat and watched one of my kids do it. I teach them kindness and respect. If I was the parent of that girl, I would have called her over and told her she wasn't being nice.

 

[Guest]

 

[Rubyfruit]

Kids are mean because they haven't been taught yet how to be civil. It takes time and observation to learn appropriate behavior.

Some parents need to get their heads out of their asses and realize that it's *their* job to teach these things. It's not simply a matter of "kids being kids." Kids learn from the modeling of behavior from their parents. In the case I mentioned above at McDonalds, that child learned, by consent of her father, that relentlessly teasing another kids was an ok thing to do.

On the subject of disability acceptance, things have actually come along way. I have a 9-year old nephew in a wheel chair with a severe physical handicap. Cognitively he is fine, even above average. But for all intents and purposes, he is a quadriplegic. He has been mainstreamed since kindergarten and has loads of friends. Everywhere I go with him, kids and adults are saying hi and chatting with him.

Mainstreaming disabled kids is the best thing that could have ever happened for them, AND typical kids.

 

[carrie-on]

When my oldest daughter was in the first grade she came home crying for a couple of days in a row because an older girl was picking on her. I told her that if the girl ever laid a hand on her to hit her back. A couple of days later,she came home from school and as usual,she handed me her lunchbox. I opened it and when I took out the thermos inside,it rattled. When I asked her what happened to her thermos,how it got broken,she giggled. When I asked her again,she said,"Mommy, you remember that big girl who picks on me?" I told her "Yes why?" she then told me,"Well today she pushed me down on the way home and when I got up I hit her with my lunchbox." About an hour later there was a knock on my door and when I opened it, there was an irate mother standing there. She demanded to see "the girl who hit my daughter with a lunchbox" I called my daughter to the door,and the mother said "No, not her! I want to talk to the older girl." I told her that my daughter WAS the one who hit her daughter,but only after she had pushed her down. The mother turned to her daughter standing behind her and asked if "this LITTLE girl is the one who hit you?" she nodded and the mother told her "There is no reason for you to pick on a little girl like this,you get your ass home." With that, she apologized and left. I heard her scolding the girl for at least a block. Until we moved away,that older girl was my daughter's protector from any of the other bullies.

 

[SweetCherry]

I agree totally with mainstreaming disabled kids in public schools as much as possible. I have the good fortune (depending on how you look at it) of my kids being exposed to my own disability. They know that I'm different, but they also know that it doesn't change the fact I'm a good person and a very loving mother. Just because I can't do some things doesn't mean I can't do anything. I'm very proud of my accomplishments and make sure that my kids realize that just because someone is different doesn't mean they are bad. They have been raised to respect individuality and treat others with kindness and respect. I've worked very hard on that fact. I guess that's what got me so mad about this. My own 2 have been saying "please" and "thank you" since they learned how to talk and it all seems for naught when I see how other kids in this world act. I am really starting to think some people shouldn't breed.