Some Classic Blonde Jokes

[Freya]

Why did the blonde ask her friends to save their burned-out light bulbs?
She needed them for the darkroom she was building.

Why are the Japanese so smart?
No blondes.

Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.

Why won't they hire Blondes as pharmacists?
They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.

Did you hear about the blonde that got an AM RADIO?
It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.

What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?
They drowned in Spring Training.

Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
To see what was on the other side.

How did the blonde die drinking milk?
The cow stepped on her.

Why do blondes have more fun?
They are easier to amuse.

Did you hear about the blonde that shot an arrow in the air?
She missed.

Why did the blonde put make-up on her forehead?
She wanted everyone to know that she was able to make up her mind.


A blonde heard that milk baths make you beautiful, so she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said: "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?"

The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub with milk and take a milk bath."

The milkman asked, "Pasteurized?"

The blonde said, "No, just up to my boobs."


No offense meant to any blondes here.

 

[LacyLady]

lol....too funny.....
You Know why Blondes have bruised bellybuttons?
Cause Blonde guys are dumb too....

 

[GreenEyedGodess]

lol! Well this blonde found those jokes funny, and about blonde boys, that's why I won't date them.

 

[Guest]

G1

 

[EarthWind]

hee hee


Eesh Joke Pages!
For The Blondes

A very attractive blonde woman arrived at the casino and bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." With that she stripped from her neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Mama needs new clothes!" Then she hollered..."YES! YES! I WON! I WON!" She jumped up and down and hugged each of the dealers. With that she picked up all the money and clothes and quickly departed. The dealers just stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I thought YOU were watching!"


Moral: Not all blondes are dumb, but most men are perverts.

 

[GreenEyedGodess]

hee hee


Eesh Joke Pages!
For The Blondes

A very attractive blonde woman arrived at the casino and bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." With that she stripped from her neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Mama needs new clothes!" Then she hollered..."YES! YES! I WON! I WON!" She jumped up and down and hugged each of the dealers. With that she picked up all the money and clothes and quickly departed. The dealers just stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I thought YOU were watching!"


Moral: Not all blondes are dumb, but most men are perverts.

Heehee!
That is so true!

 

[bknight2602]

7 Degrees of Blonde

7 Degrees of Blonde

1st DEGREE:

A married couple was asleep when the telephone rang at two in the morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the telephone, listened a moment
and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.
The husband said, "Who was that?"
The wife said, "I don't know; some woman wanting to know 'if the coast is
clear.'"



2nd DEGREE:

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a makeup compact on
the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the
mirror, and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."
The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!"
So the first blonde hands her the ! compact.
The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"



3rd DEGREE:

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and
buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens
he door, she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really
angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, shes
overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The
boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies, "Shut up,
you're next!"

4th DEGREE:

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly
says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."
Her friend says, " OK, ! what's the capital of Wisconsin?"
The blo nde replies, "Oh that's easy: W."



5th DEGREE:

What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"



6th DEGREE:

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously,
she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was
applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My God!" the
trooper gasped, "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by
an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"

"Why, yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.

"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he
surveyed the wrecked car.

"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving
along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of
me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved
to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there
was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was...."
"Uh, ma'am, 'the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on
this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."



7th DEGREE:

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported
the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit
patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer
approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch,
;shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, and then sat down on the
steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find
all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?

They send me a BLIND policeman.

Enjoy.

 

[EarthWind]

oh knight!! that was just to much! lol

 

[GreenEyedGodess]

oh knight!! that was just to much!

Agreed, some of those were hurtful. But I'm sure you didn't mean it personally, otherwise I'd guess some blonde has hurt you before.

 

[Lost Cause]

Lol!!!!! Blonde mating call........

"Golly, I'm really drunk!"