nasty1
Healing
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2001
- Posts
- 13,490
So, a guy goes to a pet store, &, the clerk tells him, there's a squirrel who sings Jingle Bells when you flick a lighter under his tail, &, Santa Claus Is Coming To Town, when you light it under it's belly. "Ok. Prove it." He says. So, he asks the man if he has a lighter. He reaches in his pocket, &, gives the clerk his lighter. Sure enough, it works. So, he buys it, &, takes it home. The guy is very amused with the squirrel. As an experiment, he lights the match at the squrrels crotch. He starts singing Chest Nuts Roasting On An Open Fire.
Santa's worse day, ever
It starts out with half his Reindeer getting sick, along with the elves. So, Santa has to resort to the Trainees, who, of course, aren't as efficient, since their trainees. Then, Mrs. Claus informs him that her Mom is coming over for dinner. An hr. later, when all the toys are wrapped, Santa puts them on the sliegh, which, isn't very sturdy, &, it breaks. Extremely frusterated, Santa goes to fix himself some coffee, with whiskey mixed in. But, the elves have stolen the whiskey, &, as Santa pours the coffee, he drops the pot, which breaks. Just then, an Angel comes in with a tree. "Santa, where should I stick teh tree?" And, that my fellow Litsters, is how the angel got on top of the tree.
Santa's worse day, ever
It starts out with half his Reindeer getting sick, along with the elves. So, Santa has to resort to the Trainees, who, of course, aren't as efficient, since their trainees. Then, Mrs. Claus informs him that her Mom is coming over for dinner. An hr. later, when all the toys are wrapped, Santa puts them on the sliegh, which, isn't very sturdy, &, it breaks. Extremely frusterated, Santa goes to fix himself some coffee, with whiskey mixed in. But, the elves have stolen the whiskey, &, as Santa pours the coffee, he drops the pot, which breaks. Just then, an Angel comes in with a tree. "Santa, where should I stick teh tree?" And, that my fellow Litsters, is how the angel got on top of the tree.
