some advise wanted

[badcomapny_78]

Hello all,
I am very veyr new to this site and it is the only place I know where I might be able to find an answers to my questions. I am 26 years old and am married for two years, me and my husband have sex regularly, but lately he mentions that his coming is nothing to be excited about anymore, I think he doesnt have orgasms, but just ejaculates does anyone know what to do to make him climax again I really want to satify him and I feel I am falling short

thanks so much
M

 

[HoldenMcCrank]

What are you willing to do?

You need to know this. Then you need to ask your husband what he would like to change about your sex life. I am sure you may already know the answers to these questions but if you don't that is ok.

Are you willing to be open minded to new and different things?

Have you asked him if he has any fantasies?

Talk to him. That is the best thing that you can do.

Holden

Good luck

 

[Saint inda City]

i agree with Crank's advice...

is he "bored" with "routine" sex? i'd say try to talk to him. if he has fantasies, dont worry, they might not be anything you cant handle. maybe he just wants to hear you talk dirty.... maybe he doen't HAVE to try anal or 3somes, but wants to fantasize/talk with you while you fuck. it could be something very simple...

good luck.
let us know how it goes.

 

[H0wl]

When you guys have sex how long do you go before your husband ejaculates?

This is just me personally when masturbating but I've found that the amount of time I spend before I get myself off can have a big effect on the quality of my orgasm.

Usually the longer I spend (up to a certain point) teasing myself before I actually let myself come the better the orgasm is.

If I come too fast then it's just the physical release and not much more.

 

[Marquis]

If he's cumming, he's "cumming", so to speak. I don't think there is such a thing as an orgasmless ejaculation. However, after two years of the same pussy, things might indeed not be as hot as they once were.

This is probably just his way of telling you he wants to violate your anus.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

just to add here, if you're going to talk to him about this, do it in a non-sexual setting. Dont wait until you're undressing him to bring it up, but more like an after dinner conversation type of thing.

 

[tigerjen]

Like everyone is saying here, communcation is key to
being able to figure out what's going on.

Here's my take, in a whimsical way: I love chocolate,
but if I had it on a daily basis, I would be bored of it so fast
that the sight of it would make me walk the other way.
That's why I try to have vanilla, or strawberry, for
variety.

I hope things work out....good luck!


tigerjen

 

[badcomapny_78]

Thanks, all of you for the fast reply. I thought as much it would be boredom, but we have lately been trying to make it more intersting, he is my 2nd sexual partner and I am his first. I guess that is a bit of a problem since we both lack experience. but these tips might help. the fantasies he has are difficult to reanact so to speak, and he doesnt even really know what would turn him on.

 

[Xt4cY]

Tell him to read some of the stories on here especially the how to section. Also ask him to read up on the message boards here. When he will read something that sounds exciting or turn him on talk about it This place is best for ideas

 

[Felt Tip]

If he's cumming, he's "cumming", so to speak. I don't think there is such a thing as an orgasmless ejaculation. However, after two years of the same pussy, things might indeed not be as hot as they once were.

Technically it's possible, but I'm pretty sure it'll only happen if you're actively trying to do it. And then it can be tricky to pull off (so to speak!)




If he sees sex with you as something he can always get any time he wants it, that might kill off some of the excitement for him.
Perhaps if you turn him down every now and again it'll make him a little more appreciative of the sex when he gets it.

I'd also suggest trying new things to breathe some life into things. It can be as simple as new positions, or you can look into role play, acting out fantasies, toys and games, whatever. Take it as far as you both find comfortable.
(The forums and stories should be good for some ideas if you're having trouble getting started)


But most of all, I think communication is key. I know it may not be so easy at first, but if you talk about your sex life together, and get to the stage where you're both comfortable talking about things and suggesting new ideas, I would expect things would improve a lot.


Good luck, whatever you do

 

[Lynxie]

I agree...I think that introducing him to Literotica (if he hasn't been already) might be a good way for him to read about new things and try and learn what his own interests and fantasies are. Once he gives it some more thought, you two can have fun exploring them to see what works and what doesn't!

My fiance and I have been together for over 8 years now - neither of us has ever been with anyone else. Communication and exploration are the keys to keeping our sex life healthy and happy.

Best of luck to you and your partner!!

 

[tbon45]

i have to add my issues. i sometime do cum without the feeling of a orgasm and yes i am getting bored with sex with my wife. now dont get me wrong i love her dearly but in the 11 yrs of marrige the sex starting to ware off. me if i could get it every day that would be great but her when we do it she just want to hury up and get it done no fore play just do it and get it over with thats why its starting to suck for me.

 

[firefighter02]

If he's cumming, he's "cumming", so to speak. I don't think there is such a thing as an orgasmless ejaculation. However, after two years of the same pussy, things might indeed not be as hot as they once were.

This is probably just his way of telling you he wants to violate your anus.

Ok..I'll bite....Perhaps he is saying that he wants her to violate HIS anus.

 

[flyindolphine]

talk to him, try to find out his secret fantasies, or why is it that he cant reach orgasm. COMUNICATION, is a sollution for most problems out there

 

[badcomapny_78]

I love y'alls responses they will be of great help,

We talk about it very openly, the problem is that he doesnt know himself why it happens, but sometimes I feel that he is a little lazy to go ut of the way to do things. He knows how for example I love to be romanced, want him to put the candles on , some music, a bath ready. I want to see that he actually planned something, usually I am the one trying to get the romance going, but then for me it is just nice nothing to get horny about. He knows all this but never has anything like that happend. no sexy surprises as such. he is not a very romantic type of person. besides he says that he has other things to think of like work and the house (we just bought our first home) cause he is single provider. but I feel that those are just excuses. cause in our previous home it was the same problem. He doesnt care much for lingerie or stuff like that. It makes me feel sad and falling short, the only fantasies that he has cannot be applied since I am not lactating or an older woman..... he said once that he would like to see me ina frenchmaid uniform, but not the sexy ones, the real one, but if I wasnt to buy something like that he discourages me.

 

[firefighter02]

Hold the Presses....Whoaaaa girl...More information certainly spins a different light on this subject.

If I get this right he is having issues with your sex life, and you may be having issues that he isn't "romancing you enough". If he is getting that vibe from you that may be the problem right there.

In my limited but raunchy experiences, if I feel that a woman has to be rommanced "into the mood" every single time, that begins a pattern where sex no longer is a fun thing, but becomes another thing I have to "work" at. How about spontaneous, him walking in the door, you meet him with that "come fuck me now" smile?

You say that you need to feel he planned something, but you also state that he is busting his hump every day. I guess it would seem to me that the issue isn't entirely with him, but perhaps in the way you look at how sex should be. Yes, it is nice to do the candles, music and bath thing everyonce in a while, but every single time?? Please.....I don't know of any of us men that could deal well with that. If nothing else it sounds as if you expect everytime to be "perfect", and that would be a hard set of standards to anyone to live up too, believe me..I'm the chief..I know...It's hard enough living up to my own standards, let alone anyone elses.

Try to be paitent, and understand that what you need or think you need for sex to happen, may be the thing that is giving him a complex. Be spontaneous, have fun, and do it on the kitchen table for once. There is a huge difference between making love and just pure out fucking. Give both a chance to happen in your relationship and you both will feel better..

Just my .02 from a dudes perspective...

FF

 

[zhukov1943]

Amen, Firefighter. Too much forced "romance" does indeed turn sex into an act of work, not love. Y'all love making us jump through hoops, don't y'all?

>>>If he's cumming, he's "cumming", so to speak. I don't think there is such a thing as an orgasmless ejaculation.

Believe me, there is. Sometimes it can be downright painful - not pleasant.

 

[badcomapny_78]

ehm I think that was a little misunderstanding< I dont have to have romance every time I wanna fuck. but I may have had it once in 4 years. come on guys, please. If he could just make up his mind about what would make it more intersting for him I would do anything,. why cant he do something like that just maybe once a year...or twice....?? there's just no initiative from his side to do anything more interesting then the usual. if I knew what I had to do to get him there I would. and not all the time.I dont need romance all the time really.. I am already cleaning up the kitchen table.

 

[BBW Fan]

As said before.. the key to all of this is communication. It is also discovery.
You're marriage is still in the early stages, and you are discovering what each other likes and dislikes. It takes some time, but don't be afraid to try new things. New positions, new locations, foreplay, etc. Be honest with each other about what you like and don't like.
As far as the "romance" factor goes, it is difficult for some guys to get into that, especially after the wedding. Men tend to be goal oriented. The bulk of the romance occurs when they are persuing the girl in order to make them fall in love with you. Then comes the goal of marriage, and once that occurs, what's the next goal? But the "romance" factor is important to many females, and it just takes guys an extra effort to see that this remains in the relationship.
Also, there are different love languages. His working around the house is very possible one way that he expresses his love toward you.