Soma Reviews a porn

[Soma99]

Tonight's review will be "Blonde Nympho Teen Sucks Boyfriends's Big Uncut Cock In Washroom"

SPOILERS WARNING

First Spoiler- If you don't already know how this ends your an idiot and I'm surprised you can get onto the internet.

https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5aa884d962cd3

First thing- the title is actually in all caps so I assume said Nympho will be yelling at me to start.

0:03- Ok so we open with our hero doing a little dance in her Calvin Klein undies. I'm not gonna lie, not the cutest underwear, and not the best dance, she doesn't really commit to it. Really shake that ass for me bitch, let me see what you got.

0:21 OK she's on her knees. I'm glad the prologue wasn't too long. Why are we in the bathroom? I assumed someone would be in the shower, but it appears they were just like, th edge of the bathtube is my favorite seat. I'm wondering about these two.


0:49- We learn he is also wearing KC boxer briefs. Is there some kinda endorsement going on here? Our hero is now licking and sucking what I can only assume is the big uncut cock. I would use more hands here, like it can't be that sensitive through the material.

1:15 OK we finally see the aforementioned cock. It's not bad. I would be happy to find that on the next guy I am with.

(gonna post this part to make sure I don't get logged out)- Next part coming (I also know you don't care))

 

[Soma99]

1:40- He does kinda have small balls. I wouldn't really care about that but that's what just crossed my mind. She does a good job licking them.

2:20- OK first look at her cock in mouth work. She's putting in the effort! Little gag at the 2:45 mark, but we've all been there.

3:10 She can get more into her mouth then me for sure.

4:00 I've never sucks an "Uncut" cock. She doesn't seem to mind.

4:15 TITTIES! (That is a fun word)

4:50- Is she trying to have him fuck her nipples? Like it looks like she is trying to push it into her nipples. First questionable decision on her part.

5:30- Oh no hands- OK we get it, your better at this then I am. Show off.

5:45 -WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT NOISE!!!???? Why are they in the bathroom again????

5:50- Her head disappears for a moment- what is she doing?

6:000 she took her hair down!!! what are you doing??? no, you start with it down if you have to then put it up. What the fuck do they teach in high school Health class these days? My teacher reminded the girls in class that every day for a week.

 

[Soma99]

6:30- OK we are getting to the homestretch. We hear the guy breathing a little heavier.

7:00- The bathroom is clean, but that mat she is on is gross for sure, every bath mat is.

7:15- out hero is working hard now. Little intentional gagging, he better appreciate this shit.

8:00- I've never felt comfortable spitting on a guys dick.

8:24 Hero gives him the "OK come on, it's time, I'm not doing this forever" look.

8:35- weird side of mouth thing here, that's more a starting off kinda thing for me.

9:00 -MONEY SHOT- the guy makes appropriate noises. Good job dude.

9:10 she makes a good mess of her face. I mean, she should feel humiliated that thousands of people have seen her face like that (sorry, still feel like taking a facial is embarrassing and shameful). but she seems to want to do it for him.

Overall I'll give it a 7 out of 10. She wasn't so hot I felt intimidated and he had a nice dick. I couldn't really get over the bathroom thing, that was weird, and she made some questionable decisions. She worked hard though and that deserves some appreciation. Couples should not match underwear though.

OK- you've wasted 9 minutes of your life on this, congrats.

 

[Soma99]

THE PLOT THICKENS----

This appears to be her thing!!!!!!!

https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph59d8f5685194d


Here she is in more KC underwear, doing a weird little dance thing and sucking a dick in the same bathroom. Honey- there are so many better places to do this. Why??????

The socks in this one are a nice touch though.

I'm also glad no one is replying- I like talking about porn to myself. Doesn't make me feel crazy at all.

 

[Soma99]

THE PLOT THICKENS----

This appears to be her thing!!!!!!!

https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph59d8f5685194d


Here she is in more KC underwear, doing a weird little dance thing and sucking a dick in the same bathroom. Honey- there are so many better places to do this. Why??????

The socks in this one are a nice touch though.

I'm also glad no one is replying- I like talking about porn to myself. Doesn't make me feel crazy at all.

I see a comfortable looking chair in the other room!!!!! WHY THE BATHROOM!!!!

That is the edge of a tub he is sitting on correct!!!!?????

I'm not going to sleep at all tonight thinking about this.

 

[Stewij]

I see a comfortable looking chair in the other room!!!!! WHY THE BATHROOM!!!!

That is the edge of a tub he is sitting on correct!!!!?????

I'm not going to sleep at all tonight thinking about this.

Hahahahaha. Please keep the reviews up. This was hilarious.

 

[ericrodman101]

Great idea

Het Soma99, enjoyed your review immensely. Maybe LIT needs a dedicated porn review section. We might need to separate it out for different genre. I would be reviewing a lot of gay porn, for instance. We could also have people watch the same vid and commentate together- I've done that with guys in the chat room and it's lots of fun. If anyone wants to watch porn with me via LIT or chat, PM me.

 

[Soma99]

Het Soma99, enjoyed your review immensely. Maybe LIT needs a dedicated porn review section. We might need to separate it out for different genre. I would be reviewing a lot of gay porn, for instance. We could also have people watch the same vid and commentate together- I've done that with guys in the chat room and it's lots of fun. If anyone wants to watch porn with me via LIT or chat, PM me.

I’d do a female perspective on gay porn with you. PM me a link to a 4-6 minute clip you like and I can do something similar to this- we can then put our thoughts together on one timeline.

If your interested.

 

[NC_OBX80]

OK- you've wasted 9 minutes of your life on this, congrats.[/QUOTE]

I’ll have to disagree! One of the most entertains threads I’ve seen in a long while. Bravo Soma!! Keep em cuming!

 

[AlwaysInTrouble]

Made my day

This was the most entertaining thing I've read today....makes me wonder why she kept her clothes on.... is she an aspiring CK model who hopes a talent scout will be perving on xHamster and discover her?

Maybe they're doing a quickie at someone else' house and are confined to the bathroom to keep from getting caught.....now I'M going to lose sleep over this tonight.

THE PLOT THICKENS----

This appears to be her thing!!!!!!!

https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph59d8f5685194d


Here she is in more KC underwear, doing a weird little dance thing and sucking a dick in the same bathroom. Honey- there are so many better places to do this. Why??????

The socks in this one are a nice touch though.

I'm also glad no one is replying- I like talking about porn to myself. Doesn't make me feel crazy at all.

 

[irishblade]

This was fantastic. Holy shit. Best thing I’ve read in weeks on Lit. Seriously this needs to happen more often. In the second video, I love at the end where she just grabs the balls and dick and starts going fast until it’s TOO fast and she gags herself. Thanks Soma!

 

[ericrodman101]

I’d do a female perspective on gay porn with you. PM me a link to a 4-6 minute clip you like and I can do something similar to this- we can then put our thoughts together on one timeline.

If your interested.

Very interested, how about this one, my new favourite Alam Wernik.

https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5a651e7629af2

 

[PenLightStories]

I give this thread a 9.5 out of 10.

Only because nobody's perfect.

 

[psiberzerker]

Underwear companies should do more product placement in porn. I mean, especially the ones with the company name/logo in the wasteband. I kinda remember when everyone seemed to weak CK underwear. Not the exact year, but it seemed to be around 03-04?

 

[delicious_man]

This was one of the best things I've read this evening. Somehow your review made me laugh and turned me on at the same time.

Love it how you call her "our hero".

7:15- out hero is working hard now. Little intentional gagging, he better appreciate this shit.

Genius.

 

[Karabare]

This review was far better than the actual video. Can't wait to read another.

 

[Booboobear84]

Mystery Science theater 3000 of porn. You may have a franchise here

 

[13Fantasies]

Loved this thread.

I'm just now seeing this thread, but it's fantastic.

 

[Lovely2222]

This was fun! Great job!