Me and rhe wife of 24 yrs were talking aboit a little soft swing or a little touchimg and than same ro sex with our own partners. We both are really into our sex life. And think this would be really exciting. Just to be around anouther couple who are into this? Has anyone have first time experience in this?any tips on how to go about this would help.
Soft Swing
- Thread starter LEx68
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PhilGarlic
Literotica Guru
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Cant
I cant help with how to get started but a while back my wife and me were sitting in the car after finishing a long walk, doors open and just chilling.
When we looked over at the other car parked there was a couple making out, from their movement the guy was fingering the girl fast, then moved down to kiss and suck her breasts. Me and the wife just watched not sure what we were seeing, although nothing developed between us, we talked about what we had seen driving home, and once indoors went straight upstairs to fuck.
So yes I think having some same room fun with another couple would be very erotic.
I cant help with how to get started but a while back my wife and me were sitting in the car after finishing a long walk, doors open and just chilling.
When we looked over at the other car parked there was a couple making out, from their movement the guy was fingering the girl fast, then moved down to kiss and suck her breasts. Me and the wife just watched not sure what we were seeing, although nothing developed between us, we talked about what we had seen driving home, and once indoors went straight upstairs to fuck.
So yes I think having some same room fun with another couple would be very erotic.
PhilGarlic
Literotica Guru
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act your age
acting your age might mean you do it with some real passion, you know each other well and are comfortable.
Not that long ago the wife gave me a blow job in our local woods, a jogger went past and his eyes nearly popped out.
acting your age might mean you do it with some real passion, you know each other well and are comfortable.
Not that long ago the wife gave me a blow job in our local woods, a jogger went past and his eyes nearly popped out.
NippleMuncher
Masticatus Nipplicanis
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Be careful with sex in public places, it's against the law in most areas, and with the plethora of surveillance cameras everywhere, there is no "safe" place to play.
Eilan
Absent(ish)
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Legal ramifications aside, it's bad form to subject the unsuspecting public to your kink.
PhilGarlic
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agree
I have to agree, it was a spur of the moment thing, although we do like to play in public sometimes we are always very careful, but you can never be 100% sure no one will see. I guess if you could it wouldn't be the same.
I have to agree, it was a spur of the moment thing, although we do like to play in public sometimes we are always very careful, but you can never be 100% sure no one will see. I guess if you could it wouldn't be the same.
SweetErika
Fingers Crossed
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It sounds like a swinging event/club might be perfect for you two. There are all sorts of swinging and sex-positive play short of full swapping or sex with others, including safe exhibitionism, voyeurism, and light play with other people.
SwingersBoard was a fantastic site for getting info and any questions answered last I checked, and you should also check out the NASCA listing of clubs as well as do some googling to find clubs and events in your area(s) of interest, possibly look at SwingLifstyle/SLS Personals, etc.
Even conservative areas usually have off-premise clubs and/or parties, though, so it's probably just going to be a matter of doing some searching, asking questions (FYI: most clubs offer or require a no-obligation orientation for newbies before certain events, and these are actually great for getting a general vibe of a place, scoping out how clean it is, the group's norms regarding safer sex practices, and asking any questions) and then mustering up the courage to go to some parties.
Before you try anything, make sure you two communicate thoroughly about feelings and potential consequences (e.g. hurt feelings, relationship issues, STIs, pregnancy). The least comfortable/"slower" person should always set the pace in a given situation, make sure you're aware of each others' feelings and reactions, check in with each other before, during and after, stop if anyone's not completely comfortable at any time, and even have a safe word to put a halt to things if something comes up for someone. It's important for the vast majority of people to have safety nets in place just in case there's some kind of consequence; even the most sure and secure folks can, and do, have unexpected reactions to the reality.
Also, even if you're not having intercourse or whatever with other people, you'll need to discuss STIs (and obtain the latest info, if necessary), safer sex methods and what you'll do in terms of testing and coping should one or both of you get an STI. A lot of people assume that swingers and other folks who have multiple partners are extremely good about practicing safer sex, limiting unnecessary exposures (like even to bedding, furniture or equipment that have been exposed to the bodily fluids of many), and getting tested frequently. Unfortunately, the reality often is that these folks aren't as diligent as they should be simply because they're assuming everyone else is very careful and/or they haven't taken the time to educate themselves well. I don't mean to scare you, and I'm certainly not painting everyone in the swinging (or any other community) with the same brush; it's just something you and your partner should be very aware of and cautious about, regardless of whom you interact with. It's easy to get lulled into a sense of security and forget that things like kissing, sex with condoms and being exposed to soiled materials can be very risky when one has been monogamous for a long time, you know?
Anyway, I hope that helps some, and best of luck in your search and experiences!
roomfor1more
Really Really Experienced
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- Dec 3, 2010
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It is difficult to know how often soft-swinging occurs and it is difficult to precisely define it. Soft-swinging, in my opinion, is a bridge to full-swinging, is a situation where boundaries can be easily violated, and it is a situation where interest can be lost very quickly. Therefore it is important when speaking with another couple to define exactly what you mean by soft-swinging, the limits of it, and have a mechanism to prevent it from proceeding to full intercourse.
A lot of questions
Were worried about that. A little and are gonna make it clear with the outher couple at the start. Would we full swing? who know but we think a soft would be best to get a feel for thing without going to far to fast. Or should the excitement be left as a fantasy.
Were worried about that. A little and are gonna make it clear with the outher couple at the start. Would we full swing? who know but we think a soft would be best to get a feel for thing without going to far to fast. Or should the excitement be left as a fantasy.
goodlife3738
Experienced
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2011
- Posts
- 52
In the swinging world, there are a lot of soft swingers. Everyone defines it differently, so again, communication is the key here. In our experience, most soft swingers have a bi sexual or bi curious female, so there is girl play, then same room sex with your own partner. Some couples go as far as touching, kissing, oral with the opposite partner, everything except penetration.
But in my opinion, it is the same as anything else in life. You need to discuss your desires, your fears and your boundaries. You need to decide together, how far you want to take the experience. You need to create a safe word, where if one of you needs to leave, you get up and leave. No one does anything they don't want to do, no one 'takes one for the team'.
My husband and I are swingers, and found that if a couple is too embarrassed to tell us over drinks what they are looking to get out of the experience, or exactly what their limits are, then we leave without any play.
It sounds like a swinging event/club might be perfect for you two. There are all sorts of swinging and sex-positive play short of full swapping or sex with others, including safe exhibitionism, voyeurism, and light play with other people.
SwingersBoard was a fantastic site for getting info and any questions answered last I checked, and you should also check out the NASCA listing of clubs as well as do some googling to find clubs and events in your area(s) of interest, possibly look at SwingLifstyle/SLS Personals, etc.
Even conservative areas usually have off-premise clubs and/or parties, though, so it's probably just going to be a matter of doing some searching, asking questions (FYI: most clubs offer or require a no-obligation orientation for newbies before certain events, and these are actually great for getting a general vibe of a place, scoping out how clean it is, the group's norms regarding safer sex practices, and asking any questions) and then mustering up the courage to go to some parties.
Before you try anything, make sure you two communicate thoroughly about feelings and potential consequences (e.g. hurt feelings, relationship issues, STIs, pregnancy). The least comfortable/"slower" person should always set the pace in a given situation, make sure you're aware of each others' feelings and reactions, check in with each other before, during and after, stop if anyone's not completely comfortable at any time, and even have a safe word to put a halt to things if something comes up for someone. It's important for the vast majority of people to have safety nets in place just in case there's some kind of consequence; even the most sure and secure folks can, and do, have unexpected reactions to the reality.
Also, even if you're not having intercourse or whatever with other people, you'll need to discuss STIs (and obtain the latest info, if necessary), safer sex methods and what you'll do in terms of testing and coping should one or both of you get an STI. A lot of people assume that swingers and other folks who have multiple partners are extremely good about practicing safer sex, limiting unnecessary exposures (like even to bedding, furniture or equipment that have been exposed to the bodily fluids of many), and getting tested frequently. Unfortunately, the reality often is that these folks aren't as diligent as they should be simply because they're assuming everyone else is very careful and/or they haven't taken the time to educate themselves well. I don't mean to scare you, and I'm certainly not painting everyone in the swinging (or any other community) with the same brush; it's just something you and your partner should be very aware of and cautious about, regardless of whom you interact with. It's easy to get lulled into a sense of security and forget that things like kissing, sex with condoms and being exposed to soiled materials can be very risky when one has been monogamous for a long time, you know?
Anyway, I hope that helps some, and best of luck in your search and experiences!
I agree, the risks of swinging are there. Always be frank and honest with your doctor, you will need to be tested completely and often. The risks are really no greater than they are with a single person playing the field. The only way to ensure you will stay safe, is to stay completely monogamous.
We are a little shy.
Look how long I've been a member not a lot of posts. But we have both talked about what we want to and not to happen. Are we nervous, hell yes. We been together so long we only know each other that's what I think the excitement is.
Look how long I've been a member not a lot of posts. But we have both talked about what we want to and not to happen. Are we nervous, hell yes. We been together so long we only know each other that's what I think the excitement is.
