So You Wanna Be a Superhero?

[slyc_willie]

Sometimes, it's just fun to do something random and funny. While sitting here waiting for my daughter to get home from school, I managed to find this:

[SIZE=+2]Random Superhero Generator[/SIZE]

Just put in your name and see what happens.

This is what I got:

Slyc Willie is known for his spectacular ability to regenerate, however doing so drains his wisdom for one day. He also has an incredible sense of hearing, but this power only lasts one hour at a time. Slyc Willie can become almost weightless and he brandishes a radioactive crossbow that can force enemies to ramble incoherently. He likewise can absorb the damage from all physical attacks and redirect it toward a distant area, but using this power makes him immovable for ten minutes. Slyc Willie developed the talent to tunnel through solid fluid, but never in extreme cold. Additionally, he possesses the power to transform any ninja into an elf. Lamentably, Slyc Willie struggles with being insane.

 

[NaokoSmith]

Naoko Smith boasts a legendary agility. Additionally, she is able to take control of radiation and bend it to her will and she developed the talent to make duplicates of herself. Naoko Smith has been known to absorb the damage from energy-based attacks and redirect it toward a distant area and she has learned to view distant locations with her mind. She has the power to leap into the minds of rivals using a marvelous mech, but using this power makes her incredibly massive for two days. Naoko Smith has mastered the ability to transform kevlar into mental energy. Terribly, Naoko Smith has a weakness of being stupid.

Oh dear, that weakness is going to be a bit of a drawback in my academic research. Perhaps I should hand the doctorate back!

(I think I preferred the Black Widow <snerk>.)

 

[mynameisben]

nynameisben can transform his body into a fluid. Sadly, mynameisben is viscous.

I can't wait to be fitted with a cape.

 

[lovecraft68]

lovecraft68 possesses the power to deflect heat beams. He likewise developed the talent to copy the size of his enemies and he has been known to create diamond out of thin air. lovecraft68 is able to spin like a whirlwind and he has learned to view distant locations with his mind. Additionally, he carries a frightening horde of nails, however only in summer. Unfortunately, lovecraft68 struggles with being weak.

So I'll never have to worry about a sunburn, the diamond thing should help with the ladies. I can also augment my size, also a plus with the ladies. hopefully I don't have the hidden weakness of a weak stomach from all that spinning.

Apparently I can day dream, but I am not sure what I am going to do with that horde of nails (unless I throw them while I am spinning) And well it looks like my weakness is being weak.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

I only went for one power.

TheeGoatPig is able to cause his enemies to become clueless. Lamentably, TheeGoatPig is especially vulnerable to steel-based attacks.

Even Better!

TheeGoatPig is able to communicate with zebras in any language, however this power fades when he is knocked unconscious. Tragically, TheeGoatPig suffers from being horribly disfigured.

 

[lovecraft68]

I only went for one power.

TheeGoatPig is able to cause his enemies to become clueless. Lamentably, TheeGoatPig is especially vulnerable to steel-based attacks.

Even Better!

TheeGoatPig is able to communicate with zebras in any language, however this power fades when he is knocked unconscious. Tragically, TheeGoatPig suffers from being horribly disfigured.

You must have a lot of enemies here then

 

[R. Richard]

Actually, R. Richard already possesses one, maybe superhero, power. I can walk down a freshly swept sidewalk and, without seeing it, cleverly kick the only remaining pebble so that it jumps up and lands inside my shoe. I don't want this power and never asked for it. However, I got it.
Be careful of what you wish for.

 

[slyc_willie]

Considering some of the strange mix of abilities I remember from some of the old Golden Age heroes, I wonder if a version of this randomizer was used back in the forties and fifties.

I mean, think about Martian Manhunter (who first appeared in 1955). He can fly, change shape, stretch, has heat vision, can become invisible and intangible, is telepathic and has immense strength. I think they just tried to roll every power they could think of into one being.

 

[slyc_willie]

I only went for one power.

TheeGoatPig is able to cause his enemies to become clueless. Lamentably, TheeGoatPig is especially vulnerable to steel-based attacks.

Even Better!

TheeGoatPig is able to communicate with zebras in any language, however this power fades when he is knocked unconscious. Tragically, TheeGoatPig suffers from being horribly disfigured.

You must have a lot of enemies here then

I really can't add anything more than this.

 

[damppanties]

damppanties is able to transform air into steel. She likewise has mastered the ability to make duplicates of herself, however only in bright light. damppanties wades into combat wielding a destructive crossbow that can force rivals to freeze in place and she has the power to transform her body into illusion, but doing so drains her attractiveness for one day. Additionally, she developed the talent to view distant locations with her mind. Tragically, damppanties is notorious for being ill-mannered.

I'll take that!

I kind of like the 'body into illusion' thing.

 

[slyc_willie]

damppanties is able to transform air into steel. She likewise has mastered the ability to make duplicates of herself, however only in bright light. damppanties wades into combat wielding a destructive crossbow that can force rivals to freeze in place and she has the power to transform her body into illusion, but doing so drains her attractiveness for one day. Additionally, she developed the talent to view distant locations with her mind. Tragically, damppanties is notorious for being ill-mannered.

I'll take that!

I kind of like the 'body into illusion' thing.

My crossbow is better than your crossbow.

 

[damppanties]

Okay, so I did this again, and I love this one even more!!

damppanties developed the talent to deflect mental shockwaves. Additionally, she lords over a pair of lizards and she is able to become almost weightless. damppanties possesses the power to make antelopes appear from nowhere and she has learned to squirt death rays from her quarterstaff against any adversary in sight. Unfortunately, damppanties is notorious for being sticky.

 

[damppanties]

My crossbow is better than your crossbow.

In the end, both our crossbows are slyc n sticky

 

[slyc_willie]

Okay, so I did this again, and I love this one even more!!

damppanties developed the talent to deflect mental shockwaves. Additionally, she lords over a pair of lizards and she is able to become almost weightless. damppanties possesses the power to make antelopes appear from nowhere and she has learned to squirt death rays from her quarterstaff against any adversary in sight. Unfortunately, damppanties is notorious for being sticky.

Yep, that's what happens with damp panties, all right . . .

 

[slyc_willie]

In the end, both our crossbows are slyc n sticky

Where's that rolling on the floor laughing my ass off smiley?

 

[damppanties]

Yep, that's what happens with damp panties, all right . . .

You missed the squirting?

 

[slyc_willie]

You missed the squirting?

No, I caught the squirting.

Wait, that didn't sound right.

You know what I mean . . . .

 

[damppanties]

No, I caught the squirting.

Wait, that didn't sound right.

You know what I mean . . . .

*makes antelopes appear near you*

 

[slyc_willie]

*makes antelopes appear near you*

No problem, I'll just absorb the damage . . . even if it means I can't move.

(Who the hell came up with that thing, anyway . . .?)

 

[damppanties]

No problem, I'll just absorb the damage . . . even if it means I can't move.

(Who the hell came up with that thing, anyway . . .?)

I have no idea but I can't stop pressing "try again."

 

[slyc_willie]

I have no idea but I can't stop pressing "try again."

It is strangely addictive, isn't it?

 

[damppanties]

It is strangely addictive, isn't it?

It is! But I'm off to bed now... too tired. Have a goodnight

 

[slyc_willie]

It is! But I'm off to bed now... too tired. Have a goodnight

You too, DP.

 

[Buzzboy]

Buzzboy developed the talent to make seahorses appear from nowhere. Additionally, he has learned to create rock out of thin air and he is able to hurl fireballs from his sword against a series of enemies. Terribly, Buzzboy is especially vulnerable to cloth-based attacks.

Cool, seahorses.

 

[Handley_Page]

HP can launch explosive missiles from his energy blade against multiple adversaries. He also developed the talent to make penguins appear from nowhere and he possesses an uncommon resistance to mental attack, however using this power makes him tiny for two days.
HP possesses the power to sculpt and mould all dust with a thought and he is able to copy all powers of his attackers. Additionally, he has learned to absorb the damage from vibrations and use it to boost his sense of smell and he has mastered the ability to create magic out of thin air, but doing so makes him afflicted with Tourette's syndrome for one week.
Sadly, HP is notorious for being night-blind.


The missiles can cause some confusion with NORAD