So you think you're a sub?

[Marquis]

I've been hanging out with a girl recently who is clearly a sub who has never met a dom before and doesn't know anything about the world of bdsm. She is surprised to find that she can have her urges to please and be punished satisfied by a man that will not abuse or disrespect her.

I've introduced her to some of the concepts and I think she is ready to submit to me more fully, but I would like her to read up on this lifestyle so she understand's a little more where I'm coming from.

Is there a "So you think you're a sub?" pamphlet she can take a loot at online? I would invite her to Lit, but I'd rather keep real life and online seperated.

 

[graceanne]

http://sub-retreat.markandelle.com/

I really liked this site. Good luck.

 

[Marquis]

Thanks.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Of course keeping in mind that "a sub/not a sub" is a bogus opposition and you might like some little parts of it and not others.

 

[Marquis]

Not understanding.

 

[CutieMouse]

www.castlerealm.com seems to have good reading.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Not understanding.

Just be careful. Your subdar is probably accurate, but beware of hitting someone with the idea that, ok, you read the "definition of a sub" somewhere, sign on the bottom line and your ass is mine. Some people might go for that, but others will say "if this is an all or nothing deal, gimme nothing", especially if they haven't done any research or have any experience.

 

[Marquis]

Just be careful. Your subdar is probably accurate, but beware of hitting someone with the idea that, ok, you read the "definition of a sub" somewhere, sign on the bottom line and your ass is mine. Some people might go for that, but others will say "if this is an all or nothing deal, gimme nothing", especially if they haven't done any research or have any experience.

I've warmed her up to this, she's ready.

Although definitely disconnected from the mainstream bdsm world, I've been doing this for about five years now, I don't consider myself a noob.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I've warmed her up to this, she's ready.

Although definitely disconnected from the mainstream bdsm world, I've been doing this for about five years now, I don't consider myself a noob.

Excellent. Sounds like good times.

 

[Marquis]

I feel still inside. This woman inhales anger and fury like a blackhole swallows light.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I feel still inside. This woman inhales anger and fury like a blackhole swallows light.

Run away!!!

 

[ethereal~minx]

http://sub-retreat.markandelle.com/

I really liked this site. Good luck.

what a great site!!! thank you : )

 

[graceanne]

what a great site!!! thank you : )

Your welcome. It's one of the sites I stumbled on when I was first looking online, and I loved it.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

I feel still inside.

Sounds like the good beginning of a hurricane to me.

This woman inhales anger and fury like a blackhole swallows light.

Fury i can understand within a very narrow definition, but anger? Buy a stuffed chihuahua to kick when your anger boils. Do you really want a doormat?

 

[Marquis]

Sounds like the good beginning of a hurricane to me.Fury i can understand within a very narrow definition, but anger? Buy a stuffed chihuahua to kick when your anger boils. Do you really want a doormat?

I would never treat anyone who genuinely submits to me as a doormat, and I've said so in other threads. However, I think she's more than happy to be my stuffed chihuahua, and she has a safeword if she changes her mind.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Chuckling

I would never treat anyone who genuinely submits to me as a doormat, and I've said so in other threads. However, I think she's more than happy to be my stuffed chihuahua, and she has a safeword if she changes her mind.

i'll buy off on the safeword, but still have an issue with "anger." i've looked at one of the other threads, and that's why i continue to question the concept of her sucking your anger out like a black hole. Because she's submissive, because she pleases you, your anger dissolves, or you deliver your anger upon her to get rid of it?

 

[shy slave]

Marquis

I have been watching this thread with some interest.

Its a vulnerable time when, as a sub, you discover what you are.

I had met a wonderful, nice, caring vanilla man who recognised it in me and he found Lit for me. ,

On-line is a safe place for new subbies to watch, talk, listen and learn.
Please don't deny your sub that opportunity. Its a close bond we make her. There are subs that have been in and out the Lit doors briefly; but I have learnt to laugh (and cry) with them.

Your use of the word 'anger' puzzles me.
Are you talking about the anger that is controlled and makes you whip her, tie her and call her a worthless slut or the uncontrolled anger that makes you beat her beyond your own bounderies?

My Master had a sub prior to me who 'swallowed pain' in the way i read your reference to anger. No matter what he did she wanted more. He called a halt because he feared for her safety as she appeared to have no limits.

Marquis I am sure many would tell you a brand new sub is a wonderful thing but she is also vulnerable and unaware of what lies ahead.

I hope you have a good time discovering but I hope deep down she is more than a stuffed chihuahua.

 

[TNRkitect2b]

here's another link for you.

D/S Help and Info "The Newbie pack"

 

[babiesmiles]

http://sub-retreat.markandelle.com/

I really liked this site. Good luck.

Thank you Graceanne , this is really a good and interesting site !
I'm glad you wanted share

smilie

 

[Marquis]

Re: Chuckling

i'll buy off on the safeword, but still have an issue with "anger." i've looked at one of the other threads, and that's why i continue to question the concept of her sucking your anger out like a black hole. Because she's submissive, because she pleases you, your anger dissolves, or you deliver your anger upon her to get rid of it?

The former.

She's been searching for a guy like me for a while. We have intensely rough sex but we're friends when that's all done.

I'm curious, are you questioning my motives or my perceptions? Considering I haven't talked much about my relationship with this woman, I presume you're making judgments based on what you think you know about me from other things I've said.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Re: Re: Chuckling

The former.

Thank you for clearing it up in my slow to get it head.

I'm curious, are you questioning my motives or my perceptions?

Only the word choice. Anger sets off bells any time i see it used.

 

[Marquis]

Re: Marquis

I have been watching this thread with some interest.

Its a vulnerable time when, as a sub, you discover what you are.

I had met a wonderful, nice, caring vanilla man who recognised it in me and he found Lit for me. ,

On-line is a safe place for new subbies to watch, talk, listen and learn.
Please don't deny your sub that opportunity. Its a close bond we make her. There are subs that have been in and out the Lit doors briefly; but I have learnt to laugh (and cry) with them.

I already have one ex out there who could be reading my posts. Particularly in my job, it's important that I protect my anonymity online and this would be too easy for an ex to use against me if she wanted to.

For example,
Your use of the word 'anger' puzzles me.
Are you talking about the anger that is controlled and makes you whip her, tie her and call her a worthless slut or the uncontrolled anger that makes you beat her beyond your own bounderies?

Again, the former. Jees guys, is there something about me that screams "abusive monster"?

My Master had a sub prior to me who 'swallowed pain' in the way i read your reference to anger. No matter what he did she wanted more. He called a halt because he feared for her safety as she appeared to have no limits.

Marquis I am sure many would tell you a brand new sub is a wonderful thing but she is also vulnerable and unaware of what lies ahead.

I hope you have a good time discovering but I hope deep down she is more than a stuffed chihuahua.

Both her and I are far from having no limits, and this girl is not a painslut by any means. While she is more than a stuffed chihuahua she is not my "other half" or "soulmate". She is a cool chick that comes over to get her brains fucked out when she doesn't have work the next day. She's not the only woman I'm seeing, and I doubt I am the only man she's seeing. Nothing more sinister or innocent than that.

 

[Marquis]

Re: Re: Re: Chuckling

Thank you for clearing it up in my slow to get it head.Only the word choice. Anger sets off bells any time i see it used.

I see, well diction is important, and I guess that puts up a red flag for people so I'll try to be careful using that word in the future. I think of it in the same way that people often call me an "angry" person, when really I am just aggressive and intolerant. That may not sound better I realize.

 

[Netzach]

Doesn't really creep me out.

I'm often cranky, bitter, enraged, and restless-- if that never has a thing to do with my sadistic drives, I'll eat something fear-factor.

That doesn't mean I'm clubbing people over the head. But sweetness and a desire for intimacy are not the only motors fueling my strap on.

My slave revels in being my hole, jester, whore, and punching bag at times.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Aggressive/Intolerant

... when really I am just aggressive and intolerant. That may not sound better I realize.

Ahh, but see, i have not a single issue with either of those ...

If she's bending knee for your @ss, i find in favor of you yanking and cranking her at/for your desire just because you wish. No one said this had to be "kind" regardless of the romance for which some may wish. i guess it sounds a little weird, but i can accept you indulging your lust almost every time, but almost never your anger.

And QBotU ... hush. PMS ain't an area we get to cop to like you ...