So, yeah...

[entitled]

i've been thinking a lot about death lately, with the way life has been for the past year or so. Seems like somebody's out to get me. To be more specific, my thoughts have been with funerals and the like.

i don't buy into the whole Christian, dark, dreary, chunk-em-in-the-ground thing. i don't -want- to be stuck under some stone until the worms eat me away. People shouldn't feel obligated to stick dead flowers in an ugly vase on top of me once or twice a year, or whatever. That's just not my style.

i've decided what i want. It's illegal in this state, but it's what i want.

i want the people who will remember me to come to a place of my choosing, bring a bunch of axes and mauls, chop down trees, and build a funeral pyre. No chain saws allowed! It won't be high enough until either all the trees are gone or people have worked off whatever grief they might have. Then they can toss my body on top and set the thing on fire.

There should be a feast - a pit barbecue, maybe, or something along that line. Lots of booze for those old enough to be legal. Laughter and songs and skinny dipping somewhere. People should be enjoying themselves. It should be a big party!

But it's not legal.

It wouldn't happen anyway - i was stupid enough to marry into a Baptist family, and they would never allow it.

So... What about you?

 

[sophia jane]

I want to be cremated. I don't care what's done with my ashes (not long I'm gonna know) but I absolutely don't want them left in an urn on someone's mantel. I don't particularly want any kind of big service, but if my family wants to hold a memorial they should do it at home, like a big party, where they can all tell stories about me and laugh and get drunk. I don't want hymns and a sermon, and I don't want everyone crying about me.

 

[Dar~]

I want to be cremated and put in a ziplock bag and then poured over the ocean. Unless one of my children or my husband dies before me, then I want my ashes to be spread where they are.

I want a wake to be held with music and dancing.

 

[minsue]

I want to be cremated. I don't care what's done with my ashes (not long I'm gonna know) but I absolutely don't want them left in an urn on someone's mantel. I don't particularly want any kind of big service, but if my family wants to hold a memorial they should do it at home, like a big party, where they can all tell stories about me and laugh and get drunk. I don't want hymns and a sermon, and I don't want everyone crying about me.

Exactly.

 

[fifty5]

That's awesome, entitled!

The demolition to catharsize (?) the grief, then a celebration of your life.

Maybe there's some half-way house that might encapsulate the essence while staying on the right side of the law (smashed up pallets, a 'guy' dressed in some of your clothes?) Which might mean it could happen...

And since the whole thing is symbolic, talking to some friends who might capture the essence, even if it isn't really your no longer living body that gets thrown on the bonfire, might mean you could be confident that your wishes might get carried out, whatever your Baptist kin might do with the physical shell that you leave behind.

To my mind, when I'm dead, I'm gone forever. My empty body will be largely irrelevant (if it's any use to them, the transplant merchants, or medical students can have it). It'll be the event that happens (and gets remembered) that will matter to those who remember me. I won't care any more.

 

[maggot420]

I plan on living forever

 

[carsonshepherd]

I really don't care, but if I am buried, I want it to be next to my dad. And then a big Irish wake of course

 

[Wildcard Ky]

I don't care what they do with me.

I've told the wife to save all that money for a casket, funeral and burial plot. Just let me sit for about a day until rigormortis really sets in. Then sharpen my head and drive me into the ground like a fertilizer spike.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

We have a family cemetary and it used to creep me out, but I've been spending more time there in the last few years. It's nice, across the creek from where I grew up.

The plot is shady and surrounded by big old maple trees and the honeysuckle blooms in the summer. It always seems to be cool there in the summer, but not too windy in the winter. I guess the older I get, the more traditional I'm becoming. All through my teenage years, I couldn't wait to get away from the place I'm from. Now there's no place I'd rather be.

As for the particulars, put me in a hollow log, I totally don't care, as long as I'm home.

 

[rgraham666]

Grind me up fine and spread me on a farmer's field somewhere.

So I'll finally do something useful with my life.

 

[AppleBiter]

I would want a funeral followed by a burial and I really don't care if anyone else finds that lame or depressing or whatever. Viewing, funeral, flowers, burial, and visits on Memorial Day. If that doesn't happen, it's not like I'll be disappointed.

 

[minsue]

I really don't care, but if I am buried, I want it to be next to my dad. And then a big Irish wake of course

I thought the wake came first?

 

[carsonshepherd]

I thought the wake came first?

I'll be dead so what would I care what order thety do it in? I'm only half Irish anyway

 

[minsue]

I'll be dead so what would I care what order thety do it in? I'm only half Irish anyway

Good enough.

 

[fifty5]

The important thing is the celebration!

 

[R. Richard]

My will states that I an to be cremated and my ashes thrown in the faces of the desk people down at the IRS. I will go, but I will not go quietly!

 

[Colleen Thomas]

I want to be buried, near my folks and grandfolks. I know I won't know, but I've always rested better among my own.

 

[The_Fool]

I want to get drunk at my funeral...

 

[BlackShanglan]

I really don't care, but if I am buried, I want it to be next to my dad. And then a big Irish wake of course

I thought the wake came first?

Being a traditionalist, I would like my wake to come first. Ideally, it would come while I was still capable of downing copious amounts of the beverages.

I suppose whatever makes survivors happy is best. Personally, I'd like a Green burial. Put me under a tree somewhere in a simple shroud and let me get back to nature in the most intimate of ways.

Shanglan

 

[Sunnie]

I haven't really given it much thought... Mostly because I don't care. I mean, once I'm dead, I'm done with this body, what do I care what happens to it?

 

[amicus]

Hmmm, I know, shut up Amicus, who asked ya anyway...but...

A mostly flippant and irreverent attitude towards death and interrment, doncha think...by most?

As far back as the Neanderthal era, and perhaps earlier, humans created rituals concerning death and burial.

As much as can be determined, bodies were prepared in certain special ways, objects were included in the burial to assist the newly departed to the next world.

You cannot visit a small town in America without seeing a cemetery with monuments of remembrance.

While I am not religious, I can understand the place of churches that continue past the life of any one individual and the burial plots they support and maintain, year after year.

I assume with the fragmentation of the nuclear family in the past generation, that family burial plots and the continuity of a blood line have lost importance.

I am not sure that is a good thing, from the tone of the thread starter and those who posted.

It is interesting to read the various thoughts, even if they tend towards flamboyance and avoidance. Life is short...but death is forever.


amicus...

 

[English Lady]

My spirit's going tobe off, living the high life in Heaven, so really,I have no preferences. I want my family and friends to do what they want and need to do to express their grief. Funerals are all about the living.

 

[entitled]

While I am not religious, I can understand the place of churches that continue past the life of any one individual and the burial plots they support and maintain, year after year.

I assume with the fragmentation of the nuclear family in the past generation, that family burial plots and the continuity of a blood line have lost importance.

I am not sure that is a good thing, from the tone of the thread starter and those who posted.

i can understand the importance of 'church burials' and such as well, but it's just not my cup of tea. That has been well known to my blood family and my inlaws for a good long while. In fact, we've discussed it before. That's how i found out the type of funeral i would like is illegal. It's been agreed that if we can find a loophole that allows 'my' funeral, it would be held on land the family owns, then the area could either be fenced in and maintained, or left to go to seed, depending on who wants to take care of it.

In my particular case, the nuclear family has nothing to do with this. In my blood family it's always been a personal choice as to where and how to be buried. Grandpa was put in a military cemetery. Grandma will be put with him. Dad has said more than once that he wants to be stuck out in the middle of a pasture somewhere (his heart's been set on farming and ranching since he could walk). Others have decided on cremation, others on burial in foreign cities - arrangements already made. That's just how we work.

It's the inlaws that might prove to be problematic for me. They threw a fit a couple of years ago when my husband's grandfather died because in his will he stated he wanted to be buried at a church that they don't go to. It's less than three miles down the road from the one they attend.

As far as continuity of bloodline goes... i've got three kids. It will live on. And yes, they're all as ornery as me. Beware, world!