So what about this thing called Feederism...?

[shayne_mayhem]

I was wondering if anyone had any thoughts/opinions on the topic of Feederism? I've heard it slammed in both kink and mainstream media, and also heard it praised (mostly in forums already dedicated to it) and it was even mentioned once briefly in a Savage Love column. So is there anyone here who does it? What's the general consensus?

 

[h_i_s]

i don't do it. It's simply not my kink.

<my opinion>
my take on feederism is no different than any other fetish/kink that i do or do not participate in: When both/all are adults, and all involved are enjoying any given fetish/kink with mutual consent, it's really nobody else's business. ALL others who do NOT enjoy participation in said fetish/kink, who have nothing nice to say, should mind their damn business and say nothing at all.

Live and let live ... judge not.
</my opinion>

 

[svb1972]

Personally, it tweaks my safe/sane/consensual meter.

Being significantly overweight.. is a very serious health hazzard in alot of people.
Compulsive over eating.. is.. not somethign that should be encouraged in someone.

But, you know.. live and let live.. long as it's not someone I care for deeply involved in it.. other people are welcome to do what ever they want

 

[FurryFury]

I love food and wouldn't mind feeding or being fed consensually. Food is great. However, I have no desire to gain as much as I single ounc,e nor make my lover gain weight, and since this won't make me actually come or him for that matter, I'd rather spend most of my leisure time another way. I have been accused of coming from eating. Unfortunately that is not true. Though I do enjoy food very, very much at times and can get rather noisy about it. *winks* As previously stated each to their own.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Dashing out right now, but you might find this thread,
Feeders, of interest.

Catalina

 

[arctic-stranger]

i don't do it. It's simply not my kink.

<my opinion>
my take on feederism is no different than any other fetish/kink that i do or do not participate in: When both/all are adults, and all involved are enjoying any given fetish/kink with mutual consent, it's really nobody else's business. ALL others who do NOT enjoy participation in said fetish/kink, who have nothing nice to say, should mind their damn business and say nothing at all.

Live and let live ... judge not.
</my opinion>

I have a friend up here who was with a feeder for a while. He almost killed her...or she almost killed herself. She now weighs more than 300 pounds and has tons of health issues. She, in my opinion was a vulnerable person, and now she will pay for some guy's pleasure for the rest of her life....

sorry, but i am just not there....imagine if your kink took a little of your life everyday....and you were not suicidal. Of if it took a little of your partner's life.

 

[snowy ciara]

It also tweaks my meter, being rack or ssc or whatever the catch phrase of the week is. I read a Dom once who said that part of his responsibilities as a Dom is to help his submissive succeed in her life to the best of her ability. It's a reciprocal responsibility, in my mind. Feeder ism doesn't work this way. But if all parties involved are adults who are able to make a decision of informed consent what can I say? It'd never work for me; but if that's what floats your boat, I can't really say anything to you about it.

 

[TaintedB]

I don't think the feeders are very closely connected to bdsm, so we can't apply the kinksters' responsibility guidelines to them. It's just another fetish for people who dig overweight partners.

 

[TaintedB]

I have a friend up here who was with a feeder for a while. He almost killed her...or she almost killed herself. She now weighs more than 300 pounds

Just over 300? Not 400 or 500 or more? She should consider herself lucky. Feeders usually like to get their partners to the point where they are immobile, and, while a lot depends on your age and what shape you're in that usually doesn't happen until at least the 600 or more pound range.

 

[h_i_s]

But if all parties involved are adults who are able to make a decision of informed consent what can I say? It'd never work for me; but if that's what floats your boat, I can't really say anything to you about it.

This is my point. If a person goes into it (whatever the kink/fetish might be) consentually and is concidered to be mentally stable enough to make the decision, it's their decision to make.

Exactly.

I have a friend up here who was with a feeder for a while. He almost killed her...or she almost killed herself. She now weighs more than 300 pounds and has tons of health issues. She, in my opinion was a vulnerable person, and now she will pay for some guy's pleasure for the rest of her life....

And she concented to this? And in some form or another perhaps she derived pleasure as a result, as well? And was she mentally stable and capable of making her own decisions?

In giving my opinion in my original post, i speak of adults & mutual consent. no where in that statement am i speaking of anyone who may be mentally or emotionally unstable who may be deemed incapable of making their own decisions in a responsible manner. If she did consent, and was qualified to offer consent, and was as much a recipient of pleasure derived from feederism as he ... did she posess a minimal degree of common sense in regard to the threat obesity would hold upon her health and possibly even her life? Perhaps more details are needed. Perhaps i would feel differently if more details being offered supported the theory that she was a blind victim who was incapable of making her own choices in a sane and concentual manner. Until such, my opinion remains as it is based only on the details offered.

Regardless, i hope both your friend and their feederism partner are doing well.

The way i see it still remains as such.... two adults + consent = nobody else's damned business.

 

[arctic-stranger]

This is my point. If a person goes into it (whatever the kink/fetish might be) consentually and is concidered to be mentally stable enough to make the decision, it's their decision to make.

Exactly.


And she concented to this? And in some form or another perhaps she derived pleasure as a result, as well? And was she mentally stable and capable of making her own decisions?

In giving my opinion in my original post, i speak of adults & mutual consent. no where in that statement am i speaking of anyone who may be mentally or emotionally unstable who may be deemed incapable of making their own decisions in a responsible manner. If she did consent, and was qualified to offer consent, and was as much a recipient of pleasure derived from feederism as he ... did she posess a minimal degree of common sense in regard to the threat obesity would hold upon her health and possibly even her life? Perhaps more details are needed. Perhaps i would feel differently if more details being offered supported the theory that she was a blind victim who was incapable of making her own choices in a sane and concentual manner. Until such, my opinion remains as it is based only on the details offered.

Regardless, i hope both your friend and their feederism partner are doing well.

The way i see it still remains as such.... two adults + consent = nobody else's damned business.

My point was that he took advantage of her. I would hardly have called her a "consenting" adult. She has several psychological disorders, and this person tweaked her to get her to do his bidding. She would never do that now, after therapy, etc. but she is sure paying for it now.

Maybe i am just pissed at one bastard, but the whole thing kind of puts me off.

 

[shayne_mayhem]

Personally, it tweaks my safe/sane/consensual meter.

Being significantly overweight.. is a very serious health hazzard in alot of people.
Compulsive over eating.. is.. not somethign that should be encouraged in someone.

Hmm. I thought that there were divisions within this sub-section of the kink community....I don't think that it always has to do with being overweight or gaining. To my understanding, there is a difference between Gainers and Feeders/Feedees to some extent. What if the kink is just to tie someone up and "force-feed" them? Like a binge, but without the throwing up, and not doing it constantly? Would this still fall under the category, or is that something else?

 

[h_i_s]

My point was that he took advantage of her. I would hardly have called her a "consenting" adult. She has several psychological disorders, and this person tweaked her to get her to do his bidding.

Now i can understand why you are 'put off' by this topic. i am neither for, nor against feedism. It does not interest me either way. i don't judge others, nor do i judge the kinks/fetishes of others simply because they don't interest me. Manipulations and abuse of someone who is vulnerable and/or not capable of making sane/sound decisions is certainly not anything i stand in support of. Unfortunately, it is all too common, and not limited to this one fetish, including vanilla relations. It's just a sad part of life.

 

[svb1972]

Hmm. I thought that there were divisions within this sub-section of the kink community....I don't think that it always has to do with being overweight or gaining. To my understanding, there is a difference between Gainers and Feeders/Feedees to some extent. What if the kink is just to tie someone up and "force-feed" them? Like a binge, but without the throwing up, and not doing it constantly? Would this still fall under the category, or is that something else?

That WOULD be different.. more like good clean fun with food..
but That was not.. the impression I got.. from reading up ont he feeder boards.

We're talking about a kink to make your partner as overweight as inhumanly possible.

 

[Marquis]

I don't have a lot of experience with this, but I have noticed something interesting in my own life.

When I was a chubster, my woman enjoyed feeding me quite a bit. A good deal of it probably came from how much I enjoyed food and the positive feelings she got from making me happy, but I think part of it might have had to do with the security she felt in me being overweight. Ironically, she became very critical of my body when I started to lose weight, even though I looked way better and, more importantly, felt much healthier.

The mentality seems parallel to another type of relationship that I've never seen described as a fetish. I've known a lot of guys with drug habits who have women that assist them in their habit, even though they stay sober themselves. It gives them pleasure to see their men get the fix they need and help them get it. I think of one such couple in particular however, and I wonder if the man would get help if he didnt have a woman to validate his habit and look after his son while he was high for days on end.