So, Were You Drunk?

carsonshepherd

comeback kid
Joined
Jan 24, 2004
Posts
14,643
In our family, every tale of misfortune is met with these words. The answer is almost invariably yes, followed by a long, detailed description of exactly HOW drunk we were.

Tales of drunken misfortune, injuries, public humiliation? What about things people told you happened that you don't quite believe, because your memory isn't exactly crystal clear?
 
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i guess i get pretty prolific when i drink.
last time i was snockered.. really off kilter was moms memorial...
lucky said i told her the secrets to the universe..
and then proceeded to spell the words that i mispronounce
yeah...


scratch that, i dont drink.
 
I am a very, very affectionate drunk.

Stories? Naw. None. Really. (Shhhhhhhh!)
 
I don't get "were you drunk" I usually get "Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

The last time I got riteously obliterated I gave my belt to one of my good friends so he could jump up on stage with some strippers who were whipping another friend of mine on his 21st birthday.

Then I drove home (being the sober one) after drinking (after we tallied it up the next day) 3 gallons of beer, a liter of Jack, a liter of Gin, and a shot of something that I'm still not sure what it was. I don't remember 20 miles of the trip, most specifically the dropping off of people at their homes in a city before driving back to my parents place so I could go to my grandfather's funeral the next day.

Yeah. I was pretty fucked up. Thank God I was only drunk for 2 days instead of hungover. I think Grandpa wouldn't have been the only relative to be put in the ground that day....
 
carsonshepherd said:
In our family, every tale of misfortune is met with these words. The answer is almost invariably yes, followed by a long, detailed description of exactly HOW drunk we were.

Close, but in my family (OK, just my brother & I ;)) it's generally more that all the stories begin with, "I was so drunk..." It never dawned on me to wait for them to ask that question.

Tales of drunken misfortune, injuries, public humiliation? What about things people told you happened that you don't quite believe, because your memory isn't exactly crystal clear?

Yes and yes, but I'm tired of telling those stories. :rolleyes: They're long, nonsensical, and I just don't come off looking all that great.
 
BWAH! Whapted argh you talkingbing bout drunkednessned. I can sthill dribe dis kar tome.
 
I never forget when I drink....except when I blank out....so, like, I rarely forget.

God does that suck. I've done some dumb shit when drinking...aside from driving....because the little part of my brain that says "Hey, don't do that" just goes away.

In part, that's where the Slave story I wrote (which may or may not be posted before Christmas....it's been submitted) came from. Virtually all of that story is true. Names have been changed to protect the guilty. That's about it.
 
rikaaim, except for the slurred speech, you're not far off base.

Think less slurring and more of the tripping and of the falling down.

I guess I talk alot when I drink. Like more than I type on this message board.
 
On New year's day ( I forget what year) I woke up after a party at my brother's to have my sister-in-law ask me at the breakfast table how my head was.

I had no idea what she was talking about. But I felt my head and I had a huge bump. I fell "UP" the stairs... and from what they tell me I insisted on sleeping in the yard, too. Good thing someone brought me in. It was cold that night.
 
rikaaim said:
BWAH! Whapted argh you talkingbing bout drunkednessned. I can sthill dribe dis kar tome.

Ahahah! Lovely. By the way, I love your sig, as I was about to ask about the name and am an ardent cummings fan. It's a delight to meet another.


and from what they tell me I insisted on sleeping in the yard, too.

Ah, now that's just cute :)

I managed to redecorate Kennington tube station one night on the way home from a graduate students' meeting. The awful thing was this: I was alone at the time of the, ah, unfortunate dispersal of pre-consumed liquids. Thank goodness for that. Unfortunately, it came near the bottom of a flight of stairs. And as I was waiting in the tube train to go home ... another train stopped. And people poured out. And ... well, let's say that banana peels are not the worst possible thing on which to slip and fall.

:eek:

I feel extremely badly about this. I really do. I did then, as well.

But not suicidally badly enough to get out and apologize. *Hangs head*

Shanglan
 
The_Darkness said:
Shan, was it real beer, not our American piss water, at least?

It was something in the neighborhood of a gallon of Guinness. I can't swear to it, but there might have been some scrumpy in there as well. It's been a while.

Shanglan
 
It's the only explanation I have for why I got married the last time. True or not, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
 
cloudy said:
It's the only explanation I have for why I got married the last time. True or not, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

I can blame an entire 5 year relationship on alcohol.
 
carsonshepherd said:
I can blame an entire 5 year relationship on alcohol.

Got you beat, sweets.....by the time this is finally, finally over, it'll have been 11 years. Jeez, what a damn waste of time.
 
cloudy said:
At least I got a really cute kid out of it. ;)

That's more than I got out of mine! :mad: ;) Luck to you - pulling the roots out of your life, even when they are choking you, is the hardest part. :rose:
 
A Gallon of Guinness! Holy balls! I dig me a Guinness or three, but jesus man! I take it that this was before the low-carb diet craze?
 
The_Darkness said:
A Gallon of Guinness! Holy balls! I dig me a Guinness or three, but jesus man! I take it that this was before the low-carb diet craze?

A pox on all diet crazes of all varieties. Anything standing between me and a gallon of Guinness wants to be well armed.

Shanglan
 
The_Darkness said:
A Gallon of Guinness! Holy balls! I dig me a Guinness or three, but jesus man! I take it that this was before the low-carb diet craze?

Shang told you where it ended up... THAT is low-carb!
 
BlackShanglan said:
A pox on all diet crazes of all varieties. Anything standing between me and a gallon of Guinness wants to be well armed.

Shanglan

Amen! *hoists beer in toast*
 
carsonshepherd said:
Shang told you where it ended up... THAT is low-carb!

*laugh* Ah, mate ... warn me when you are about to do that. When a horse pisses itself laughing, it's one hell of a mess.

Shanglan
 
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