Alright, so here's the situation: My bf and I have been in a LDR since February. In the time apart, we've discovered that we both have more than a passing interest in experimenting with bdsm. Luckily enough, our kinks seem to match up pretty perfectly. Between talking to him, reading this board, and random fantasy, I seem to be thinking a lot about this. Naturally, part of me wants to talk a lot about it with him, but at the same time, I am moving down to be with him in less than a month. I'm torn between exploring this new territory now or waiting until I'm there so that we can discuss things face to face rather than over a computer screen. You all seem like wise people - do any of you have an opinion as to which would be better?
One thing that I haven't talked to him about as much as my desire to submit is my curiosity about light pain play. I think part of this is because I am myself conflicted about my feelings - on the one hand the idea of it can be such a turn on if I'm in the right mood. On the other, I have such a low pain tolerance that it would have to be very very light, at least to start off with. I want to have some idea of the types of things I might want done to me before I bring up the idea because again, with our inexperience, I would be surprised if he didn't ask me what I'd want to try. So, what hurts so good (but not too much) for a scared wuss looking to expand her horizons?
Basically, any advice, cautions, anecdotes about when you started out, anything is welcome here. I'm trying to make my first tentative steps into a new world and I'm so excited!
One thing that I haven't talked to him about as much as my desire to submit is my curiosity about light pain play. I think part of this is because I am myself conflicted about my feelings - on the one hand the idea of it can be such a turn on if I'm in the right mood. On the other, I have such a low pain tolerance that it would have to be very very light, at least to start off with. I want to have some idea of the types of things I might want done to me before I bring up the idea because again, with our inexperience, I would be surprised if he didn't ask me what I'd want to try. So, what hurts so good (but not too much) for a scared wuss looking to expand her horizons?
Basically, any advice, cautions, anecdotes about when you started out, anything is welcome here. I'm trying to make my first tentative steps into a new world and I'm so excited!
Afterwards I tried to keep some form of conversation going, and it did work to a point; I found out a few more things he'd like to try, but the conversation didn't last too long. He wants to keep a lot of things a surprise, which I can understand and makes the whole prospect of moving just that much more exciting because it sounds like he has a lot planned, but at the same time, it'd be nice for him to have a general idea of what I want to try and what may take a while, and for me to know what kinds of things he is expecting. I have a rough idea, but like I said, this has been on my mind an awful lot lately and I'd like to share the excitement with him.
