So I have a problem at work.

[Sillyman]

There is this guy at work who is always doing stuff for me, and it pisses me off. Now this might seem fine to you, but first of all this guy is indirectly making a statement that I'm incompetent for not doing things his way, and that if he does everything for me, I end up standing around looking useless. That certainly doesn't make me look good, and I would like fairly decent references when i leave this job for something better, such as selling Chicklets to tourists.

Unfortunately I'm not sure how to confront him about it. If I don't do anything, I'm just going to seethe, so that's no good. If I try to talk to him about it, I might go off on the guy, which will damage my work relationships at best and get me fired at worst. Yes, I've been fucked up by too much therapy.

Anyway, any thoughts or suggestions?

 

[SilvaTungDevil]

Here's what I once did to a supervisor I hated. I slipped in after hours and dabbed some buckscent (smells really bad) under his desk. Then I went around gossiping about how he always smelled like pee. Soon everyone was convinced he was incotinent. It really undermined his image.

When in doubt, sabotage.

 

[peachykeen]

Is he on the same level as you in terms of the staff structure, or is he your (supposed) superior?

You could just try saying to him, as innocently as possible that, hey man, you really appreciate how much he's trying to help you out and all, but you know, you just won't be able to learn it properly unless he just lets you handle some things yourself. And smile big in his face.

 

[acitore_vuli]

Would you like me to help you rewrite your post? Just asking.

 

[Burning Chrome]

Pistol whip him, you'll feel better.

 

[Sillyman]

Would you like me to help you rewrite your post? Just asking.

No, I'm fine. Thanks all the same though. Normally I'm better about comma splices, but I'm a little rushed.

 

[marksgirl]

Peachy is on the right track.

 

[Reyna123]

Well sillyman
here is what you do
get a few gallons of clorox bleach
and write
DICKHEAD
on his lawn

hehe

 

[Sillyman]

Is he on the same level as you in terms of the staff structure, or is he your (supposed) superior?

He was hired the same day as me. He's just crew.

 

[ma_guy]

Hi Sillyman!

I haven't seen you around much of late! Good to see you back.

Hmmm.. Could you provide a little more info? Is this person a supervisor or co-worker? Can you give an example of the type of thing he's "fixing"?

One way or another, you're going to have to speak up for yourself. I think you know that already. HOW you do it is the key and answers to these might kick start the old brain for some ideas.

 

[Sillyman]

Well, I'll be cooking meat and he'll just jump in and decide to cook more himself rather than ask me. I'll volunteer to take the trash out and he'll jump in saying he'll do it. It's fucking annoying.

 

[Bob_Bytchin]

Sounds like a crush to me.

 

[Sillyman]

Sounds like a crush to me.

Him on me or me on him?

 

[peachykeen]

There are two possibilities here:

A) the guy is a dick, he is totally aware of what he is doing and is deiberately trying to make you look bad (so he looks better by comparison, or,

B) he is just kind of an over-eager jerk and is so absorbed in his own self-promotion efforts he doesn't realize he is stepping on your toes.

From just the information here, and not knowing him, I can't say which is more likely. But either way you do have to say something. If my first suggestion doesn't work, you might have to talk to him a second time, a bit more forcefully (not threatening or anything, just to say "Look, pal, I already asked you once to cut that crap out, and I don't intend to do it again.")

If that still doesn't work you may need to speak to a supervisor or line manager.

 

[Bob_Bytchin]

This is half-serious...half-sarcasm.

Him on you....you aren't leading him on are you?

 

[ma_guy]

OK, so this guy is a co-worker with no more seniority than you have. Can you just corner him when he jumps in and say something like "Look, I know you want to do a good job here but so do I. I have my tasks, you have your's. Let me do mine. If I need your help I WILL ask for it but I need to do my job myself."

You don't want to start a pissing contest (you still have to work with the guy..) but you need to make it vclear that he's stepping on your toes. I'd try to keep it light-hearted at first and hope he takes the hint. If not you may have to get a little more forceful.

 

[Sillyman]

This is half-serious...half-sarcasm.

Him on you....you aren't leading him on are you?

Hey, can I help it if no one can resist my angelic features? Surely not.

 

[peachykeen]

OK, so this guy is a co-worker with no more seniority than you have. Can you just corner him when he jumps in and say something like "Look, I know you want to do a good job here but so do I. I have my tasks, you have your's. Let me do mine. If I need your help I WILL ask for it but I need to do my job myself."

You don't want to start a pissing contest (you still have to work with the guy..) but you need to make it vclear that he's stepping on your toes. I'd try to keep it light-hearted at first and hope he takes the hint. If not you may have to get a little more forceful.

good lord it's like we're sharing a brain...

 

[Sillyman]

deedee deedee...

 

[kotori]

I'll agree with Peachy & Ma. Keep it light and cool, but just say it.

And I wouldn't worry about references (something you mentioned earlier)--most employers will only confirm statistical data: dates of employment, number of absences, etc; to give subjective opinions of performance has become an H.R. no-no--exposes the firm to liability.

Any speculation as to his motive? Maybe he is trying to impress you.

 

[Carp]

OK, so this guy is a co-worker with no more seniority than you have. Can you just corner him when he jumps in and say something like "Look, I know you want to do a good job here but so do I. I have my tasks, you have your's. Let me do mine. If I need your help I WILL ask for it but I need to do my job myself."

You don't want to start a pissing contest (you still have to work with the guy..) but you need to make it vclear that he's stepping on your toes. I'd try to keep it light-hearted at first and hope he takes the hint. If not you may have to get a little more forceful.

I was just going to post something very similar. You have to confront the guy, let hom know you see what he's doing, and ask him to knock it off. If once doesn't work, next time do it in front of your supervisor. If that doesn't work, talk to your sup.

If that doesn't work, grab him by the throat and shake him until his teeth fall out.

 

[Guest]

 

[ma_guy]

good lord it's like we're sharing a brain...

I've been told I only have "half a brain" before. Have you got the other half?

 

[peachykeen]

I've been told I only have "half a brain" before. Have you got the other half?

hey, I've been looking all over for that!

 

[curious2c]

I think ma_guy has hit the nail on the head. YOu could tell him in a respectful but firm way, by yourselves, and perhaps he will back off on the over eager help stuff. worth a try anyway.