So I drove over a cat on the way home tonight

[KyleW]

I was busy listening to Rollin by Limp Bizkit. My hat was on backwards and I was throwing peace signs at kids who were on the street corner. That's when I saw something small race out in front of me. I knew I would be too slow to react, with the peace sign throwing, and the giant coffee I was holding. So I sped up. I figured if I was going to kill an animal or midget, it would be more humane to run over them quick like.

Being a civic minded person, I pulled over to scrape whatever blood, skin and possibly fur off my bumper and tires. I didn't want to track that shit home. I'd much rather leave it on someone's lawn.

Turns out it was a cat, or possibly small dog. I should edit the title, but no, let's push forward. I scraped the dead annoying animal off my tires and went on my way to buy steroids from some crack dealers.


What percentage of the above will be used against me as fact by morons in the future? I'm going with 97% No one believes I'm civic minded. And civics are terrible cars.

Also, buy ferrets, not cats.

 

[lovetoread]

Cats rule, ferrets smell.

 

[QueenLevitra]

Buy no living thing, rescue.

Why so needy?

 

[Wings]

Killing pussy left and right.

 

[KyleW]

What percentage of the above will be used against me as fact by morons in the future?

I'm not sure, but are you suggesting that if we had time travel, we'd learn that our future is populated by morons?

 

[marshalt]

I hit a bald eagle with my car driving home for christmas several years ago. That thing really fucked up my bumper.

 

[QueenLevitra]

I hit a bald eagle with my car driving home for christmas several years ago. That thing really fucked up my bumper.

How did it taste, fricassead?

 

[run_silent]

Throwing down an imaginary gauntlet? Stir shit often?

 

[Sean]

Weird fact: Cats are classed as vermin in British law. You have to report running over a dog, but not a cat.

 

[shoulderblade]

Weird fact: Cats are classed as vermin in British law. You have to report running over a dog, but not a cat.

That is weird. For centuries cats were kept as "mousers" to keep mice and real vermin away from houses and barns. More useful than dogs generally.

Was it because they are useless for fox hunting.

 

[Sean]

That is weird. For centuries cats were kept as "mousers" to keep mice and real vermin away from houses and barns. More useful than dogs generally.

Was it because they are useless for fox hunting.

Dogs, geese, chickens and such are considered "working animals" in law.

 

[neci]

I was busy listening to Rollin by Limp Bizkit. My hat was on backwards and I was throwing peace signs at kids who were on the street corner. That's when I saw something small race out in front of me. I knew I would be too slow to react, with the peace sign throwing, and the giant coffee I was holding. So I sped up. I figured if I was going to kill an animal or midget, it would be more humane to run over them quick like.

Being a civic minded person, I pulled over to scrape whatever blood, skin and possibly fur off my bumper and tires. I didn't want to track that shit home. I'd much rather leave it on someone's lawn.

Turns out it was a cat, or possibly small dog. I should edit the title, but no, let's push forward. I scraped the dead annoying animal off my tires and went on my way to buy steroids from some crack dealers.


What percentage of the above will be used against me as fact by morons in the future? I'm going with 97% No one believes I'm civic minded. And civics are terrible cars.

Also, buy ferrets, not cats.

i hate you.

 

[Tryharder62]

Have you seen my friend? We were suppose to meet here?

 

[lovetoread]

I lol'd.

 

[bra_man69]

 

[XdOu™]

ferets are cool pets but very fucking stinky pets.

 

[KyleW]

i hate you.

that seems extreme

 

[QueenLevitra]

ferets are cool pets but very fucking stinky pets.

I prefer a German Shepherd.

It tends to keep the NRA at bay.

 

[pink]

 

[shoulderblade]

Dogs, geese, chickens and such are considered "working animals" in law.

Hmmm. It makes me wonder why cats would be singled out as vermin even though they are useful.

Possibly they make killing mice look like fun and food rather than work. I will have to watch out on that.

 

[unregistered]

 

[islandman]

Pussy galore

"pussy gore" would have been funnier.

 

[SeaDaddy1]

I was busy listening to Rollin by Limp Bizkit. My hat was on backwards and I was throwing peace signs at kids who were on the street corner. That's when I saw something small race out in front of me. I knew I would be too slow to react, with the peace sign throwing, and the giant coffee I was holding. So I sped up. I figured if I was going to kill an animal or midget, it would be more humane to run over them quick like.

Being a civic minded person, I pulled over to scrape whatever blood, skin and possibly fur off my bumper and tires. I didn't want to track that shit home. I'd much rather leave it on someone's lawn.

Turns out it was a cat, or possibly small dog. I should edit the title, but no, let's push forward. I scraped the dead annoying animal off my tires and went on my way to buy steroids from some crack dealers.


What percentage of the above will be used against me as fact by morons in the future? I'm going with 97% No one believes I'm civic minded. And civics are terrible cars.

Also, buy ferrets, not cats.

^^^^And this is why I pay full coverage insurance. It's not the car that worries me.^^^^

 

[CHNOPS]

What percentage of the above will be used against me as fact by morons in the future?

^^^^And this is why I pay full coverage insurance. It's not the car that worries me.^^^^

:whistles, stares at ceiling, points at moron:

 

[SeaDaddy1]

:whistles, stares at ceiling, points at moron:

Kyle's just being honest.