Sluts

[Salvor-Hardon]

I completely get where you're coming from, Selena. Somebody can be "slutty" without being promiscuous. They can be "slutty" and still be respectable.

See that's why I like sluts... that right there!

 

[CharleyH]

Not me, but sadly a lot who have responded to this thread so far seem to be.

I'm a slut. Yes I am, and guess what, I'm very happy with that, proud even. But, I am NOT promiscuous.

I thought you were joking - lol - but ALAS there is a slut thread! How can one be a slut without being promiscuous, though? And ... why the abscence of men who are equally sluts? Why does every man on this page (at least) assume the word SLUT means a woman? It's really weird.

 

[Guest]

I thought you were joking - lol - but ALAS there is a slut thread! How can one be a slut without being promiscuous, though? And ... why the abscence of men who are equally sluts? Why does every man on this page (at least) assume the word SLUT means a woman? It's really weird.

But you know I am, and you know I'm not, so:

And I did refer to him as a slut as well.

 

[CharleyH]

But you know I am, and you know I'm not, so:

And I did refer to him as a slut as well.

Well, I KNOW he is a SLUT!

 

[Guest]

Well, I KNOW he is a SLUT!

 

[Selena_Kitt]

so what is slutty behavior?

and how do we differentiate between "slutty" behavior and "promiscuous" behavior? I think that's quite an important distinction, Lou... maybe the crux of it...

Sometimes I wonder if the fear of promiscuity is the real issue?

I mean, if the reaction of the Loving Wives crowd tells us anything...

 

[AchtungNight]

What makes a woman slutty?

Everything that's been said here already. I can't really add to it except to say that it can all easily apply to men too if one disregards gender issues. I know I've felt slutty at times.

What's the sluttiest thing you've ever done?

Probably the threesome I had back in college with my girlfriend and her best friend. It opened the door to many new possibilities.

Who's your sluttiest character? Why?

Probably Keri Russell in "The Rendezvous." She does talk and think about sex more than any of the others, even though they're all sluts. I got the idea to portray her that way from reading her interviews and thinking about how someone might deal with the duality of being an eager slut and having fun with it while acting the part of a naive committed monogamist on a popular TV show for four years. Then when the show gets cancelled, she struggles with whether or not she wants to continue her acting career and her slut life too. I must say it got very interesting exploring her feelings.

Do you like sluts? Are you offended by slutty behavior?

I'm not offended at all. A person can choose to be who they want to be. As long as they do it the right way and learn from their mistakes, they are to be commended.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

Slutty behavior : "Hey bub, fancy a blowjob?"
Promiscuous : Just ripping the pants off the next guywho passes by.

 

[Guest]

Slutty behavior : "Hey bub, fancy a blowjob?"
Promiscuous : Just ripping the pants off the next guywho passes by.

Yup, well said. I think that sums it up nicely!

 

[joeys-game]

i tend to use 'slut' as a dirty pet name, term of endearment.

'slutsmittee'..*winks*

 

[Guest]

A slut, if we are speaking of women sluts, can no more be pegeonholed than any other woman.

I knew one girl who actively sought a new lover every weekend. In time, she married, and could be the soccer mom next door who is loyal and faithful to her husband. At least, she was the last time I heard.

Another girl told me once she'd had 67 lovers in the 14 years she'd been sexually active. Some in the handful of years before she married, and the rest after her marrriage but not one affair during her nine year marriage. It was her ex-husband who cheated.

A friend in high school was frustrated by his girlfriends chastity, but figured she was a virgin. Privately she confided to me that she didn't want a bad reputation in school but that every weekend while at RV parks with her parents, she had sex with different guys.

One lover did amazing things to me starting an hour after we met on one vacation. When I got to know her better back in the US, I discovered her 'sluttiness' had been a vacation letting-go, and not a role she played in real life.

I guess the point I'm making, is that no one is slutty all of the time, and most women probably have periods of their lives, or relationships, where they act slutty. As Lou said, one can be slutty without being promiscuous. I can think of no greater complement than to bring out a woman's inner-slut.

I've had several female friends who were probably above active in their sexual activity with multiple partners. And yes, it was frustrating being the friend they didn't have sex with.

On the other hand ... birds of a feather flock together ... some of their friends were awesome.

 

[Sex and Death]

so what is slutty behavior?

and how do we differentiate between "slutty" behavior and "promiscuous" behavior? I think that's quite an important distinction, Lou... maybe the crux of it...

Sometimes I wonder if the fear of promiscuity is the real issue?

I mean, if the reaction of the Loving Wives crowd tells us anything...

I will give my love and loyalty to a slut, but I will not give it to a promiscuous slut. Promiscuous sluts are a dime a dozen.

Promiscuity is ugly, and shows what a person thinks of him or herself. Been there, done that.

Interesting...same letters..."slut" and "lust." Perhaps the slutty part of a woman is the lusty, hungry part, and also the part that wants to be used and taken, and expresses that desire....the part of every woman that has a lust for pleasure and the flesh, and is willing to cross over her family and social conditioning to fill that lust.

I'm turned on by a woman who is comitted to discovering and exploring all parts of herself within the context of a comitted relationship, including that inner slut.

S&D

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Interesting...same letters..."slut" and "lust." Perhaps the slutty part of a woman is the lusty, hungry part, and also the part that wants to be used and taken, and expresses that desire....the part of every woman that has a lust for pleasure and the flesh, and is willing to cross over her family and social conditioning to fill that lust.

and that lust isn't abnormal or strange... I think every woman has it... sometimes I think the least "slutty" women need a dose of "slut" the most...

 

[Guest]

and that lust isn't abnormal or strange... I think every woman has it... sometimes I think the least "slutty" women need a dose of "slut" the most...

Just thinking about this in terms of myself. I have a period of time I call my "slutpuppy stage", a roughly 3 year period of indescriminate sexual activity, marked by

1) having sex with guys I barely knew or didn't know at all - and didn't actually want to know
2) having sex and not remembering the guy's name later, nor he mine
3) having mediocre sex because I wanted a guy to like me
4) thinking that sex was all I had to offer
5) scaring myself with my own carelessness, but not enough to change what I was doing
6) feeling very bad about myself

When I think of "slut" as an insult, I think of someone acting as I did at that time. It was a poor place to be, having sex for all the wrong reasons, not so much because I wanted sex, but because I wanted to matter to someone and thought that sex was the only way to do it.

A woman (or man) who has lots of sexual partners for the experience, because there is a genuine if momentary connection or attraction, and who feels ok about him/herself -- and can go without sex or say no to sex when he/she wants -- is not, in my book, being "slutty". Sex because you want sex is one thing. Sex because you want attention, love, power or something else might be roaming into the realm of slutty behavior as I define it.

 

[ibhard]

'slutsmittee'..*winks*

is that a dirty pet name or just a dirty name? either way, i'm sure i've been called both. ^^

 

[joeys-game]

is that a dirty pet name or just a dirty name? either way, i'm sure i've been called both. ^^

its a nerw dirty pet name for someone i happen to be smitten with

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Not me, but sadly a lot who have responded to this thread so far seem to be.

I'm a slut. Yes I am, and guess what, I'm very happy with that, proud even. But, I am NOT promiscuous.

Edited my mini-rant, just cos I felt like it.

Hear, hear!

To me, "slut" has become a term of approval, the female counterpart of "stud". It denotes a sexual athlete or very passionate women, as in "Kiss me, you gorgeous slut!"

As far as I'm concerned, it's none of my business how many guys a girl sleeps with. That's her prerogative, and she has every right to as many lovers as any man. Whether she goes to bed with 4 guys in a night or 40, that doesn't necessarily make her morally inferior or anything else. Why should it?

I feel the same way about the word "bitch". A bitch for me is a sexually powerful woman. It has nothing to do with being nasty or catty or underhanded, and I use the word as a term of approval.

 

[CharleyH]

Hear, hear!

To me, "slut" has become a term of approval, the female counterpart of "stud"..

I get this and love it, yet I doubt slut is equated with stud. Is whore equated with gigalo?

 

[JamesSD]

Do you like sluts?

Yes.

I'm offended when people use the word "slut" in a negative way.

 

[Belegon]

Slut is a word I might use about myself or as a term of endearment to someone whose sexual openess I enjoy...but not one I would use otherwise. the negative conotations are too hurtful. Also, I would never use it in third person. It feels too much like talking behind someones back, something I try to avoid doing.

I do feel that the pain of the word is associated with the old double standard. One I rejected before I even knew it existed and yet I still sometimes struggle with, although privately.

I have always liked women who shared my sense of adventure about sex and have never looked down on them for it. Yet I married a "nice girl" and indeed, was more likely to be friends (sometimes "with benefits") with the girl that others might call a slut then to be in a committed relationship with her. That has proven to be problematical and a large source of discord in my life.

The word troubles me because to me it has either very positive (if slightly sarcastic) connotations or extremely negative ones.

If I ever call any of you a slut, it means I hold you in such high regard and believe in your friendship so much that I have absolutely zero doubt that you will believe me when I say it was meant endearingly.

 

[pagangirl]

slutty slut slut....

ohh I like this question, I mean 'reasearch'!! Maybe the author of this thread, or anyone else for that matter, can tell me - am I a slut??????

((several years ago))) - After having recently broken up with a guy, I was out one night having coffee with a girlfriend, (after we'd been out dancing and drinking). It was a bad break up and I was still feeling pretty bloody mad about the whole thing. I said to my girlfriend, and I quote: "Next guy that comes around that corner I'm going to ask him for a fuck." Within seconds four guys came around the corner, I took aim at one and asked him. He was in total shock and disbelief, but before long gathered himself together, ran over to the table, said yes, I said let's go, we hailed a taxi and went back to my place where we bonked all night. It was great.

Now...was this 'sluttish' ? I'm sure some would think so, I don't, I just think I had some some damned good courage up that night!!

IF...on the other hand I had had a boyfriend, AND THEN taken a stranger home to fuck, and perhaps repeated this act every weekend, maybe then I'd be more of a slut???

Hmm....or what about the fact that just last month I met a stranger on my way home from going out (with the same girlfriend, man, she's a bad influence on me!!!), we said hi, wanna come back to my place for a beer, i said yes, we went back, and had sex in his boat......meanwhile, my husband was at home looking after the kids.....
still??? am i a slut???

I don't wear short skirts, I don't talk dirty, I don't wear makeup, I don't dress when I go out with the intention of getting laid.....

 

[pagangirl]

okay, so i hate to be boring here...but I just read someone who asked why is it that we assume the word 'slut' to refer to women?? It's because historically, the word was used to describe woman who were 'slovenly' - untidy and dirty, dishevelled, messy, scruffy, unkempt. According to my dictionary, the word 'sloven' comes from perhaps the Dutch word 'slof' meaning careless and negligent....

okay, that's your english lesson over with, back to the sex and the sluts, and the sluts having sex, sluts having sex with other sluts...oooo errrr, now that I'd like to be a part of!!!!

 

[S-Des]

I'm a little more reticent to use the word (never was one to talk dirty much during sex). I'm too much of a prude. That said, I don't think of it as a negative, especially when you say a woman is acting slutty (I think of it as hot). Of course, if you read my Anonymous post today you know that a woman gave me a 3 in Don't Look because the male character encouraged the female character to act slutty because he could tell it was something she desperately wanted to do, but was afraid to (the reader felt insulted by the usage of the word at all).

I had to laugh at PaganGirl's post. It was like reading my story again (different situation, but the same motivation). That's cool, it let's me know I was on the right track with describing the woman and how she was behaving. I'm always a little nervous about describing a woman's motivation. I don't ever want it to come off a stupid, "guy fantasy."

 

[Guest]

I will give my love and loyalty to a slut, but I will not give it to a promiscuous slut. Promiscuous sluts are a dime a dozen.

Promiscuity is ugly, and shows what a person thinks of him or herself. Been there, done that.

Interesting...same letters..."slut" and "lust." Perhaps the slutty part of a woman is the lusty, hungry part, and also the part that wants to be used and taken, and expresses that desire....the part of every woman that has a lust for pleasure and the flesh, and is willing to cross over her family and social conditioning to fill that lust.

I'm turned on by a woman who is comitted to discovering and exploring all parts of herself within the context of a comitted relationship, including that inner slut.

S&D

I like what you said there, a lot, and I'm in complete agreement - that's my idea of a slut, and how I perceive myself.

To me, "slut" has become a term of approval, the female counterpart of "stud". It denotes a sexual athlete or very passionate women, as in "Kiss me, you gorgeous slut!"

Absolutely! I love that, and I really love being referred to in that way. Not sure I'd use the word "stud" as its counterpart, though; I prefer something along the lines of "filthy bastard", which, to me, is something very good indeed, and definitely a term of approval/endearment.






I've got to add (which I did begin to say in my initial post), it does amaze me how close-minded/prudish/conservative/old-fashioned some appear to be, for a board of erotica (smut/porn/whatever) writers. I thought we were a liberal, non-judgemental lot, who embrace all kinds of sexuallity - or, at the very least, be tolerant of diversity. Is it that people fear, or disapprove of, what they don't understand? Or feel threatened? I've thought that before, many times, and not only in this thread.

 

[Nirvanadragones]

Interesting...same letters..."slut" and "lust." Perhaps the slutty part of a woman is the lusty, hungry part, and also the part that wants to be used and taken, and expresses that desire....the part of every woman that has a lust for pleasure and the flesh, and is willing to cross over her family and social conditioning to fill that lust.

I'm turned on by a woman who is comitted to discovering and exploring all parts of herself within the context of a comitted relationship, including that inner slut.

I'm in complete agreeement. I adore the term "slut" when used as described above. I claim it.