slut?

[lk70]

I see that a lot of doms refer to their subs as sluts and the subs seem to really like that.

What's the appeal behind it?

 

[CutieMouse]

I've never really understood it, myself...

 

[BiBunny]

Well, I don't care for being referred to as "slut" in everyday conversation , but, for me, it's hot for several reasons. Number one is that I love any kind of dirty talk in the appropriate context--the appropriate context usually being when we're both naked, and I'm so horny I can't stand myself. Another reason is that I'm a very aural person, and voices turn me on, B.'s voice especially. Oh. My. God. Another factor is that it's a way for him to assert dominance in a given situation, like he's saying, "I can call you bitch, slut, whore, stupid cunt, whatever, and you'll agree with me because I hold your heart in the palm of my hand."

Now this response will probably net me at least a dozen PMs titled "slut." That ain't the appropriate context I was talkin' about up there, folks. Even B. only seriously calls me "slut" in the bedroom, or just jokingly outside the bedroom. He doesn't refer to me as his slut under normal circumstances because it'd annoy both of us. We're sticklers for the aforementioned "appropriate context."

Did that help?

 

[WriterDom]

I see that a lot of doms refer to their subs as sluts and the subs seem to really like that.

What's the appeal behind it?

Some do, some don't. I use it in the context of My slut rather than a slut slut. It's almost like it takes on a new meaning.

 

[Netzach]

I've never found this appealing with women, but find it highly appealing with men. Such is my double standard and the workings of my brain. In my limited experience on the bottom I always reacted to being called a slut with a loss of respect for the D/Top on my part, because it's clearly not the case, it's so far off the mark that it tells me they're an idiot, not that I'm sexually indiscriminate.

There are a million other ways for my play partner, whose authority I'm beginning to acknowledge, to point out that 1. I'm really really into his body and making it feel good 2. I'll do whatever he pleases 3. I'm pretty fucked in regard to the control I gave up - none of it well expressed by the word "slut."

One top I reacted favorably to in the past was pretty clever and had me refer to myself in a way that made reference to the better part of my identity as Domme - a little delicious built-in humiliation.

 

[HottieMama]

Some do, some don't. I use it in the context of My slut rather than a slut slut. It's almost like it takes on a new meaning.

DING DING DING DING!!!!!!!!!!!!! (at least for me) ANY word takes on new meaning when preceded by "My."

 

[DomWharfsBitch]

I find it quite exciting being called his Slut when we are together in the moment playing..nothing gets me hotter then knowing that I am his slut to do with as he wishes..MMMMM

 

[Netzach]

No offense to anyone, but the whole notion of "slut for one person" totally cancels the literal meaning of slut. Nympho, cock junkie, human blow up doll, wet hole, courtesan, toy, or fuckthing, yes, but "slut" -- how?

 

[Quint]

...........

 

[CutieMouse]

See I see this as one of those your mileage may vary things... I don't care how hot and heavy things are - call me a slut or a bitch and I'll hit full stop.

J and I were joking around last week, and he teasingly called me a bitch. I knew he was teasing; he knew he was teasing. I still instantly reacted by flipping him off and saying that word was off limits if he ever wanted a relationship with me. I cannot seem to seperate the negative connotations of those words, to reach a place where I embrace them...

 

[Netzach]

What if I'm available to others (visually, sexually, etc) on T's command? Sure they get the tangible benefits, but if I'm doing it cuz he told me to, not cuz I want to (to paraphrase the classy children's line), then I kind of AM being a slut for him. That's my interpretation.

But I don't get anything out of it when he says it, so it don't even matter.

Huh, maybe. I'd call that "happily pimped out." Slut seems to imply it's your idea in the first place. Pardon my literal brain.

It's not the offensiveness that gets me it's the fact that there's just such cognitive dissonance it says "wow, you really don't KNOW me" which kills any possible buzz.

 

[h_i_s]

I see that a lot of doms refer to their subs as sluts and the subs seem to really like that.

What's the appeal behind it?

I can't speak for all......and I know, and can tell you that not all like it.... but..
For me, it's pretty simple:
He doesn't say it as an insult. He says it with pride. It's a compliment.

Most importantly, it is reserved for Him only. Anyone else would lose a few teeth, or the likes.

When He addresses me as such, He is saying:
"You are mine. I'm proud to own you. ......... and, OMG little girl, no one has ever sucked my cock so well and so eagerly in my whole life". --That's a LOT to say at the err... 'moment'. So, "You are my little slut, aren't you?" .. is easier for Him, or suits Him better, I'm happy to hear it.

That's all beside the fact that because I AM His.. and He can call me anything He chooses, regardless. Bonus is that I DO like it.

 

[h_i_s]

Some do, some don't. I use it in the context of My slut rather than a slut slut. It's almost like it takes on a new meaning.

You've worded this well, and in a way that is fitting to me.......... but,
In my world, there are no 'almosts' about it WriterDom.
It absolutely takes on a new meaning.

 

[h_i_s]

No offense to anyone, but the whole notion of "slut for one person" totally cancels the literal meaning of slut. Nympho, cock junkie, human blow up doll, wet hole, courtesan, toy, or fuckthing, yes, but "slut" -- how?

I guess for some, being a slut or being called a slut is not always about who a person is being a slut for, or for how many.
Many refer to a woman as a slut with the notion that she dresses too sexy, acts too sexual, OR is having sex with too many.
Some might say that *I* dress too sexy and act too sexual. Some might LOVE to have sex with me. And if I would say yes to them all, I'd probably be called a slut.
The only difference to my case of the slutties for many who would call a woman a slut is that I am an owned slut and as such, He only allows me to have sex with Him. It doesn't make me any less of a slut ... it just makes me HIS slut.

As such, I understand that He also reserves the right to change His mind without notice, at any time, and as a result He could wake up tomorrow and decide that I am anyone's slut that wants me, too. Those are the perks of ownership, I guess.

 

[graceanne]

Slut does nothing for me. K doesn't call me it, I'd laugh at him, since I've only ever been with him. I don't qualify as a slut. *shrugs*

 

[LadyAmaranth]

I do not want to ever be referred to as a "Slut." There are so many other delightful terms that to use a word that connotates a sexual promiscuous woman with no respect of themselves, would be a total turn off.

Why should simply adding "My" to a word lend it the position of being respectable, or even loving? There are some words that no matter what context they are used, jokingly or seriously, are just too offensive to be used.

Perhaps that is lending to much credence to a simple word, but again, there are some many others to be wielded by a Master or Mistress, that is does not ever need to be used.

 

[the captians wench]

Some do, some don't. I use it in the context of My slut rather than a slut slut. It's almost like it takes on a new meaning.

That's how it's always been used with me. Some times the my is included some times it is implied, but it is always made perfectly clear that they do not view me as a real slut, but I am his slut. I won't do just anything with just anyone, but I will do nearly anything with a special some one.

I think for me, it's always sort of reinforced that whole "this is mine she'll do anything for me" kind of thing, because I will do more to and for some one that I have some sort of relationship with than I would some one who just walked off the street.

 

[the captians wench]

Slut does nothing for me. K doesn't call me it, I'd laugh at him, since I've only ever been with him. I don't qualify as a slut. *shrugs*

*giggles* my count is still on one hand at the moment *giggles*

 

[graceanne]

That's how it's always been used with me. Some times the my is included some times it is implied, but it is always made perfectly clear that they do not view me as a real slut, but I am his slut. I won't do just anything with just anyone, but I will do nearly anything with a special some one.

I think for me, it's always sort of reinforced that whole "this is mine she'll do anything for me" kind of thing, because I will do more to and for some one that I have some sort of relationship with than I would some one who just walked off the street.

Well, that wouldn't work for us, either. It's not an issue, but extra marital sex is a HARD LIMIT for both of us. I'm not going to run the risk of STD's by sleeping around.

 

[WriterDom]

There aren't too many women in the middle of the road on the "slut" issue. I always find out before I use it.

 

[DomWharfsBitch]

There aren't too many women in the middle of the road on the "slut" issue. I always find out before I use it.

I must say I hated the thought of being referred to as a slut when I first entered into the BDSM relationship I am in...I thought of it as a connatation for a lose woman and I didn't like..it wasn't until further down the road that I loved the thought of me being "HIS" Slut..that is all the word is to me..I am his and he can call me Slut but no one else can...

 

[Softouch911]

There aren't too many women in the middle of the road on the "slut" issue. I always find out before I use it.

Always a good thing to do.

We're in a monogamous relationship, and that's been my girl's identity all of her adult life.

But we don't take a dictionary with us when we play, and when I call her "Slut" or "Fucktoy" or a couple of other hard-nosed sexual challenges, if she's aroused the words alone will bring her over the top. She'll go ballistic.

This is a Good Thing, I believe. She seems to think so.

A lot of the explanations others have made make sense to me as I think about her response, but the energy and passion of her reaction isn't explained by bits of philosophy.

But if she isn't very aroused, or if I said it in casual conversation, she would be very hurt, offended, even angry. And if someone else said it, they'd best be ready for serious flight because if either of us catch them it won't be pretty.

Actually, I find the question and thread curious. In a lifestyle where whips, knives, hot wax, branding, degradation, and bondage are practiced as erotic activities, it's strikes me as odd that a choice of words could be a hot button . Please don't think I'm objecting -- it's just more testimony to the power of language I guess.

Respectfully,
ST

 

[Evil_Geoff]

After reading the responses on the thread I figured what the hell, I'll chime in.

The use of the term "slut" as an endearment, or turn on, or whatever, falls in the category of things covered under "It may not be my kink, but if it's your kink, rock on."

It's a word, and sorry folks, but neither your sensibilities nor mine determine if someone else finds it hot, sexy, exciting, arousing, and a turn on. Or if they find it offensive, inappropriate, a turn off, disgusting.

It's just like using the word "nigger". From the right person in the right ear in the right context it could be the hottest little endearment ever.

By the wrong person in the wrong ear at the wrong time and you could spark riots.

It's called a double standard in some circles, hypocrisy in others, by some it's called "the way life works".

Whiskey tango foxtrot people? Snoop Dogg or 2Live Crew can use "nappy headed ho's" in a music video viewed by millions and it's okay... and Don Imus says it and he gets fired for it.

I can call one submissive play partner a "fucking cunt" and she gets drenched. But if I called janey one, stand back and call an ambulance because buddy, it would be ON!

If it works for you and yours use "slut" and enjoy! If it doesn't work for you, let it go and move along to the next tearm of endearment. Or humiliation. Or both.

 

[h_i_s]

I do not want to ever be referred to as a "Slut." There are so many other delightful terms that to use a word that connotates a sexual promiscuous woman with no respect of themselves, would be a total turn off.

Why should simply adding "My" to a word lend it the position of being respectable, or even loving? There are some words that no matter what context they are used, jokingly or seriously, are just too offensive to be used.

Perhaps that is lending to much credence to a simple word, but again, there are some many others to be wielded by a Master or Mistress, that is does not ever need to be used.

I can certainly understand how you may have arrived at your opinions. And, they're all good as long as those are levels of tolerance you set for yourself, LadyAmaranth.

'A sexual promiscuous woman' does not always equal 'with no respect of themselves'.... at least, for me, it doesn't (and some others who may be ok with being called a slut, may not care to be assigned that description either).

The adding of 'My' could lend to the position of being respectable or even loving and fits very well when the respect and love are already there, to begin with..... for me (and perhaps for some others, too).

Everyone has their own likes and dislikes.
We all have differing levels of tolerance no matter which topic we may discuss.
That which may fit the chategory of offensive and disrespectful for one person will fall into the chategory of a loving term of endearment to another.

 

[Netzach]

Always a good thing to do.

We're in a monogamous relationship, and that's been my girl's identity all of her adult life.

But we don't take a dictionary with us when we play, and when I call her "Slut" or "Fucktoy" or a couple of other hard-nosed sexual challenges, if she's aroused the words alone will bring her over the top. She'll go ballistic.

This is a Good Thing, I believe. She seems to think so.

A lot of the explanations others have made make sense to me as I think about her response, but the energy and passion of her reaction isn't explained by bits of philosophy.

But if she isn't very aroused, or if I said it in casual conversation, she would be very hurt, offended, even angry. And if someone else said it, they'd best be ready for serious flight because if either of us catch them it won't be pretty.

Actually, I find the question and thread curious. In a lifestyle where whips, knives, hot wax, branding, degradation, and bondage are practiced as erotic activities, it's strikes me as odd that a choice of words could be a hot button . Please don't think I'm objecting -- it's just more testimony to the power of language I guess.

Respectfully,
ST

Of course they are. Don't they challenge one's identity in a way that simply being whacked on the butt can't?