Slightly submissive

[fallingleaves]

My boyfriend and I have recently begun exploring ways to further our sex life and we've discovered that he is predominantly dominant, whereas I am the opposite. Handy, I know

My point is, although we lean in these directions, we don't have a D/s relationship (hence why I'm posting in here) and I'm a little unsure of how to go about pleasing him. Most of the advice in the BDSM/ D/s categories is a little much for me. I don't want to submit completely: we have safe words and he never pushes me into something he doesn't know I'd like. But, I'd like to be able to talk dirty/resist in a convincing fashion, as he's been taking the first few steps and it'd be a nice surprise for him if I could reciprocate "properly". So, if anyone has any advice for me (if you can wade through all this confusion) I'd really appreciate it.

xx

 

[SweetErika]

Welcome to Lit!

I was intimidated and overwhelmed by the BDSM forum at first, too. However, as I continued to explore, I learned there's a very broad spectrum of activities and involvement, ranging from a few commands, a little bondage or some spanking every once in awhile to a 24/7 D/s relationship. Just like vanilla sex or relationships, you take what you want and leave the rest, and everyone who's worth listening to is supportive of the different desires and levels of involvement.

We've found the BDSM Library and checklists very helpful. The checklists allowed us to go through all of the general possibilities and gauge interest in each. From there, we've been able to come up with a lot of ideas. So, I'd advise doing that, then maybe asking for suggestions based on more specific interests (it'll be easier for people to give ideas if they know what you and your bf generally like).

 

[rthnck]

Good, giving and game

You're doing everything right. Taking it slow and being GGG (good, giving and game). BDSM in it's infancy is definitely a balancing act. Trying to figure out how to heighten your BF's enjoyment is exciting all by itself. Just be yourself, watch his reactions (assuming your're not blindfolded) and respond accordingly. Enjoy.

 

[fallingleaves]

Thank you!!

Thanks for your replies, guys! I'll be sure to check out the BDSM section and see what I find... )

xx