Sissy Amy Loves Mummy Belinda CH3 Out Now

[Sissy Adele Howells]

Hi,
The third part of Sissy Amy Loves Mummy Belinda is out now on the new stories http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=243428
Hope you enjoy it as much as the other two parts. Would love feedback. I admit there are some errors and apologise for this, but Im not perfect. Also new readers who want to start reading this kinky story,please do and enjoy.
LOVE
SISSY ADELE

 

[kbate]

You are getting better as you go.

***

Your largest problem is with passive voice.

There was so much sex going on, the sound of eighteen stone of obesity coming down the stairs, wasnt heared by any of us.

Ignoring the typo, this statement could read any of a dozen active ways and be much better.

***
Nurse Sue George sat opposite her best friend, Nurse Lynda Christopher. Both looked stunning in their royal, blue nurses uniforms.

I wasn't expecting nurses to wear baseball uniforms, so a little redundant here.
***

 

[Sissy Adele Howells]

Thanks for advice

Hi
Thanks for your advice. I will try to improve on next chapter.Thanks for reading it.
Adele

 

[doll parts85]

I'm confused...is that code?