single submission

[shy slave]

Hi Wenchie

I agree with the dilemma of 'good girls didn't do that.'

When I was vanilla I did just that, when I was single I had more one night stands than a sex worker, but I did it for free. I didn't hate it, but somehow it didn't touch me in the way it could/should have.

Always wondered why.

When I found BDSM I realised I hated pain (it fucking hurts), but I needed it. It was the bit that was misisng from any orgasm I had had, and from any relationship on a mental level.

Separating the pain from a relationship or the pain from sex has had mixed results.
I don't like separating the pain from a relationship, it really messes my mind up; but separating it from sex is fine.

I do prefer taking pain for pains sake and not for my pleasure, it gives me something mentally, that physical orgasms can't, when I know he is doing it for himself.

The upside is that it only takes some verbal humiliation and some nipple torture and I orgasm amazingly well



No matter what I am like in the vanilla world, and I don't act submissive then, in a relationship I gain more from pleasing him than I do from him doing things because he thinks I would like them. Thats one of the reasons I don't play, as I don't know the person well enough to know what they gain from it. I need to know they enjoy their own sadism.

Its one of things I like about Cat and F, it seems he does what he does because he wants to, her needs sometimes seem secondary. Then again, please correct me if I have that wrong in my mind Cat.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Its one of things I like about Cat and F, it seems he does what he does because he wants to, her needs sometimes seem secondary. Then again, please correct me if I have that wrong in my mind Cat.

LOL, no, seems about right...it can be a mindfuck at times. I fell down 5 stairs in the dark a few weeks ago...he yelled out to ask if I was alright...I was winded and couldn't answer.....he didn't come running to my rescue (though my son stuck his head out of his room to see if I was alive...I landed practically at his door), instead waiting until I crawled back up to bed 30 minutes later or so...he figured I was alive as he heard noises, and didn't see why he should get out of a warm bed to rescue a clumsy slave. He asked when I got back to bed if I was injured....told him yes...he told me to get into bed, shut up, stay there, and go to sleep...he checked my leg the next day and gave me permission to take it a little easier for a day or so, he also gave it a massage a couple of times over the last couple of weeks, but not on a regular basis or when he didn't feel inclined.

Nice to see we have both turned up around these parts at around the same time....must be those mystical mind powers connecting.

Catalina

 

[shy slave]

Goodness cat, how are you?

I do hope you are ok now.

I can see F's logic but, I would have needed a bit more sympathy than that.

I can't imagine fo it was him falling that you would ahve reacted in the same way!

Ages since I have been here, I move house in next couple of days and once I have the net up and running in next few months I should be around again.

xxx

 

[catalina_francisco]

Goodness cat, how are you?

I do hope you are ok now.

I can see F's logic but, I would have needed a bit more sympathy than that.

I can't imagine fo it was him falling that you would ahve reacted in the same way!

Ages since I have been here, I move house in next couple of days and once I have the net up and running in next few months I should be around again.

xxx

LOL, I survived...twisted knee which didn't show any bruising but until this week required special positioning in bed, and seized up whenever I went to bend or straighten it after being in the opposite position or walking on it. And yes, if it had been him and I didn't go to the rescue, he would not be very happy, but such are the differences in our positions. He does spoil me often, but is not something I can demand or predict when.

Good luck on the moving...we need to catch up online once you are up an d running and have a moment to breath!!

Catalina