single parenting: managing your love life

[daughter]

Power of One asked who pays for babysitting when dating a single mom.

My questions are what do you do when you wanna get your groove on? When or are you ever comfortable having an overnight guest when your children are home?

Maybe I should back up. When do you introduce a fella/girl to your children? Do you wait till you're dating exclusively? How long into the relationship?

Peace,

daughter

p.s. Could we keep this limited to folks who are parents and have or are facing these scenarios?

 

[Bob Peale]

I don't have this situation (if I started dating, my wife would kill me ), but I do have several friends who are in this situation.

Interestingly, my female friends do not typically introduce "dates" to their children. Once the dates have progressed to a relationship, they will slowly make introductions, but I know of cases where it didn't happen for 6 months or so.

In most cases, the woman has always paid for the babysitter when one was needed.

On the flip side, most of the guys I know in this situation wer ethe non-custodial parent. For some reason, that led to them introducing the child to a "date" earlier, moreso because the two tended to overlap.

The interesting point here is, most guys I know didn't date until the child was old enough to understand (at least 7 or 8).

 

[alltherage]

Soon after my divorce I became romantically involved with a woman. She was often at my home and was accepted by my children easily. Many of my friends are female and there always seems to be one of the other visiting.

When she would stay the night we became much like parents everywhere. I assume most seek privacy "to get there groove on." The only embarassing moment that ever happened in that relationship happened one night when my daughter had a nightmare. My lover and I were well past the forplay point and I was very excited. I heard my daughter calling me and grabbed my robe and ran to her room. I sat on the edge of her bed and held her. Her little hand came to rest on my upper thigh. She was crying, but managed to say,"mommy your all wet." I turned about seventeen shades of red. I told her it was hot in my room and I was sweating. Thank god she did not play twenty questions with me.

I am very cautious with males. My reasoning is simple. They could potentially see a male in a paternal role. I have had the experience of having a male friend seek out my childrens affections to gain mine. It was obvioius and it inferiated me. I think caution has to be the rule in this area. I have no quilt about my sexuality. It is who I am. I do fear the impact it may have on my kids. Society being as it is it is easy to imagine them being hurt because of me and I will not allow that.

 

[Weird Harold]

The interesting point here is, most guys I know didn't date until the child was old enough to understand (at least 7 or 8).

The children's age is definitely a factor. My daughters set up most of my dates. (I think in an attempt to get me out of the house more. )