Silly Questions....

[Quoll]

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in
which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form
by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are
invisible.

P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?

 

[babydoll2u]

omg........ I think I need a drink...

 

[Guest]

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in
which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form
by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are
invisible.

P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?

One has two syllables and the other doesn't

 

[Kowboy]

Have you ever 'slept like a rock'? How does a rock sleep?

 

[nufsti]

How about Tuesday... is Tuesday good?

Have your people call my people? Who are all these people?

The neighborhood stud... why is it you ladies like that short, seventy year old guy that has trouble walking?

The lure of the South... how come BD2U came back?

My shoes hurt? How?

There's a hole in my sock... of course... otherwise how'd you put it on?

 

[babydoll2u]

How about Tuesday... is Tuesday good?

Have your people call my people? Who are all these people?

The neighborhood stud... why is it you ladies like that short, seventy year old guy that has trouble walking?

The lure of the South... how come BD2U came back?

My shoes hurt? How?

There's a hole in my sock... of course... otherwise how'd you put it on?

uh I didn't? I'm still very much in Ohio

 

[manandwife]

why can't i sleep

 

[fathom7]

Why do restaurants post hand-lettered signs outside that read:

"We have menus in Braille"

Just asking.

 

[babydoll2u]

Why do restaurants post hand-lettered signs outside that read:

"We have menus in Braille"

Just asking.

LOL!
same reason they have the numbers in braille at the drive through ATM machines!

 

[herestoya]

Why do I get stiff when I look at babydoll2u's AV?

 

[babydoll2u]

Why do I get stiff when I look at babydoll2u's AV?

because you haven't seen my real lips?

just a thought

 

[herestoya]

because you haven't seen my real lips?

just a thought

I'd love to see your real lips

 

[Bukchoi]

If I were a flirtacious Jack-in the-Box would that make me a Pop-Tart?

 

[babydoll2u]

If I were a flirtacious Jack-in the-Box would that make me a Pop-Tart?

LOLOL.........

 

[LongHairedOutlaw]

Are you telling the truth if you lie in bed?

just thought i would share that one

 

[Quoll]

Not a question, but I thought you might get a kick out of it.

Peg.

The British Government's policy of socialized medicine has recently been broadened to include a service called "Proxy Fathers". Under the government plan, any married woman who is unable to become pregnant through the first five years of her marriage may request the service of a proxy father -- a government employee who attempts to solve the couple's problem by impregnating the wife.

The Smiths, a young couple, have no children and a proxy father is due to arrive. Leaving for work, Mr. Smith says, "I'm off. The government man should be here soon." Moments later a door-to-door baby photographer rings the bell.

Mrs. Smith: "Good morning."

Salesman: "Good morning, madam. You don't know me, but I've come to....."

Mrs. Smith: (Interrupting) "No need to explain, I've been expecting you."

Salesman: "Really? Well, good. I've made a specialty of babies, specially twins."

Mrs. Smith: "That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat."

Salesman: (Sitting) "Then you don't need to be sold on the idea?"

Mrs. Smith: "Don't concern yourself. My husband and I both agree this is the right thing to do."

Salesman: "Well, perhaps we should get down to it?"

Mrs. Smith: (Blushing) "Just where do we start?"

Salesman: "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor allows the subject to really spread out."

Mrs. Smith: "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it hasn't worked for Harry and me."

Salesman: "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time, but if we try several locations and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results. In fact, my business card says, 'I aim to please.'"

Mrs. Smith: "Pardon me, but isn't this a little informal?"

Salesman: "Madam, in my line of work, a man must be at ease and take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that."

Mrs. Smith: "Don't I know! Have you had much success at this?"

Salesman: (Opening his briefcase and finding baby pictures) "Just look at this picture. Believe it or not, it was done on top of a bus in downtown London."

Mrs. Smith: "Oh, my!!"

Salesman: "And here are pictures of the prettiest twins in town. They turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

Mrs. Smith: "She was?"

Salesman: "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her down to Hyde Park to get the job done right. I've never worked under such impossible conditions. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."

Mrs. Smith: "Four and five deep?"

Salesman: "Yes and for more than three hours, too. The mother got so excited she started bouncing around, squealing and yelling at the crowd. I couldn't concentrate. I'm afraid I had to ask a couple of men to restrain her. By that time darkness was approaching and I began to rush my shots. When the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment I just packed it all in."

Mrs. Smith: "You mean they actually chewed on your, eh.., equipment?"

Salesman: "That's right, but it's all in a day's work. I consider my work a pleasure. I've spent years perfecting my patented technique. Now take this baby, I shot this one in the front window of a big department store."

Mrs. Smith: "I just can't believe it."

Salesman: "Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work."

Mrs. Smith: "TRIPOD?!?"

Salesman: "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my equipment on. It's much too heavy and unwieldy for me to hold while I'm shooting. Mrs. Smith?... Mrs. Smith? ...My goodness, she's fainted!"

 

[babydoll2u]

OMGGGGGGGGGG... LMFAO!! http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_1_55.gif

 

[Kowboy]

Peg,

Being a photographer, have you ever been in this situation?

 

[Kowboy]

Quoll,

Thank you for this. I can just picture that woman's expression during the conversation.
ROTFLMAO

 

[babydoll2u]

Peg,

Being a photographer, have you ever been in this situation?

nope, can't say that I have... lol

 

[Quoll]

Bad Pun Alert

Don`t mean to be negative, but I just had a thought flash through my mind, so I thought I would nikon here and expose my ideas, I mean sometimes I have all these thoughts that just canon around in my mind and develop and I am basically a fixer and don`t always see things in black and white.
Anyway must go, the good thing about photographers is you never really know just what might develop. Ok I must admit Iam a bit hypo at the moment amd have been dodging the issue of sleep, I need to lie down in a darkroom instead of here processing all these polarising thoughts.
Well it seems my spool has run down for now, must stop this over-exposure before my density starts to show through and I be framed for some thing I may not have done. Well I see a film rolling across my lens so I will sneak off through this last aperture and sleep, see you all tomorrow.

 

[babydoll2u]

Don`t mean to be negative, but I just had a thought flash through my mind, so I thought I would nikon here and expose my ideas, I mean sometimes I have all these thoughts that just canon around in my mind and develop and I am basically a fixer and don`t always see things in black and white.
Anyway must go, the good thing about photographers is you never really know just what might develop. Ok I must admit Iam a bit hypo at the moment amd have been dodging the issue of sleep, I need to lie down in a darkroom instead of here processing all these polarising thoughts.
Well it seems my spool has run down for now, must stop this over-exposure before my density starts to show through and I be framed for some thing I may not have done. Well I see a film rolling across my lens so I will sneak off through this last aperture and sleep, see you all tomorrow.

LOL.....lmao...... sweet dreams sweetie LOL

 

[fathom7]

LOL!
same reason they have the numbers in braille at the drive through ATM machines!

Now THAT's funny. ROFLMAO.


I also wanted to know why is ache pronounced the way it is and yet when your grow a mistake it is moustache? Could be justa simple English language issue. I mean, just how tough is it? The rules are easy to follow:

G-O = GO
D-O = DUE

See!

 

[fathom7]

Bear with me English Majors

I have just one more question for you ESL (English as a Second Language) folks -- you know those who are trying to learn this language rather than just come across it naturally:

Why are these plurals NOT correct:

1 Sheriff ------ 2 Sheraphim
1 Blouse ------ 2 Blice
1 Goof ------ A Group of Geef
AND

2 Jacki

Just wondering.

 

[babydoll2u]

LOL

and they wonder why the english language is the hardest language to learn?!