Silly Musings

[My Own Way]

I just posted this on the twentysomething thread...but I know not everyone reads that thread so I thought I'd pose this question to the greater lit community. I've been getting these strange sentimental feelings lately that maybe I've made a few mistakes over this past year in that I've let some really good people, mostly men, but not soley, walk out of my life. I'll admit, I'm not a very good communicator, I'm often shy and uncertain, and so there are many times when things I want to say go left unsaid and a lot of times, that doesn't bother me, but for some reason, this time it does. I just keep wondering, what if I had said just one little thing, or given them one little look...would things have been different? Don't get me wrong...I'm not talking about having a broken heart here or anything...most of the people I'm talking about were or are merely nodding acquaintances but I can't help but wondering what might have been if I hadn't let them slip away.

I don't know. Maybe I'm just being over sentimental. I know you can't change the past, and there's no guarentee that anything good might have come from being more encouraging but I guess it just bothers me that now I'll never know.

 

[LadyJeanne]

We all have moments like that, where we wonder what might have happened if we'd done something differently with a person. The holidays can do that. For me, it's my birthday that makes me reflective like that.

You can't know about the past, but you can certainly take those little steps in the future. Each step you take, makes the next one easier, until you've made a habit of being more open with people.

Good luck!

 

[silverwhisper]

MOW: are you perchance familiar w/ j. d. salinger's the catcher in the rye? there's a moment quite early on that's quite similar to what you've described.

a question: are you undergoing some kind of life change? those kinds of feelings often are prompted by dramatic change, i suspect.

ed

 

[M's girl]

Looking back.... regrets, what ifs.... we all have them and there is not much you can do about it except learn from past experiences and mistakes. There is no use in asking yourself "what if.." over and over again, because you will never know the answer. What you can do is convince yourself to do better or take a different approach next time. Only the resolution to do so will make you feel better.... I think.

Good luck.

 

[Guest]

 

[averageblonde]

I agree with SilverWhisper on the Catcher in the Rye. Read it, it changed me. Sometimes I go through these moments. I just try not to let it get me down. When I feel like that I will just call my boyfriend or cry. Crying is always good.

 

[My Own Way]

We all have moments like that, where we wonder what might have happened if we'd done something differently with a person. The holidays can do that. For me, it's my birthday that makes me reflective like that.

You can't know about the past, but you can certainly take those little steps in the future. Each step you take, makes the next one easier, until you've made a habit of being more open with people.

Good luck!

Thanks LadyJeanne...It's good to know I'm not the only person who occasionally becomes reflective about unusual things that can't be changed. And you're right...I'm realizing that all these people I've let pass me by or that I've passed by might have been waiting for me to open up and that in the future I need to give people the opportunity to know me.

 

[My Own Way]

MOW: are you perchance familiar w/ j. d. salinger's the catcher in the rye? there's a moment quite early on that's quite similar to what you've described.

a question: are you undergoing some kind of life change? those kinds of feelings often are prompted by dramatic change, i suspect.

ed

I am familiar with Catcher in the Rye....if you're a big fan of that I highly reccommend Stephen Chbosky's The Perks of Being a Walflower. It's been called the modern Catcher.

Anyway...I think you're probably right ed about the changes. There's nothing dramatic really going on yet, but I'm starting to think about graduation in May and getting a job and where I want to move and what I want to do...so there's just a lot of thinking going on...and I don't know about other people, but all it takes is for me to think about one little thing and suddenly I'll be thinking about a million other little things that might only be remotely related to each other. So yeah...not dramatic changes...just a lot more reflection about the future going on I guess...and maybe how I'd like to make it different than the past.

 

[My Own Way]

Looking back.... regrets, what ifs.... we all have them and there is not much you can do about it except learn from past experiences and mistakes. There is no use in asking yourself "what if.." over and over again, because you will never know the answer. What you can do is convince yourself to do better or take a different approach next time. Only the resolution to do so will make you feel better.... I think.

Good luck.

Yes...I know...hindsight is 20/20 and all that. It's not so much that I regret the past and the people I've let go...I try not to have regrets....but I do wonder. I mean, you're right, I can't change it, it is what it is, and I can't regret it because in a way it's led to this point, but I just wonder....

 

[My Own Way]

I can understand your feelings, but I can't help but wonder why you feel it's too late. Can you still get in touch with these people? If you can, then it might not be too late.

If you can contact them and they don't want anything to do with you, then at least you have tried. Why not try with one person and see how it goes?

Good luck!

LOL...you're right...I could always contact them...but you see...most of the people I'm wondering about are people I was never really close to in the first place. You know...the cute guy who sat next to me in class that I chose to practically ignore all semester cause he was just too cute and made me nervous...you know...those kinds of people. The ones where I just wonder if I had smiled at him or said more than the occasional hi what might have happened. Maybe nothing...and that's fine...but there might have been something there....

 

[My Own Way]

I agree with SilverWhisper on the Catcher in the Rye. Read it, it changed me. Sometimes I go through these moments. I just try not to let it get me down. When I feel like that I will just call my boyfriend or cry. Crying is always good.

Hmmm...maybe that's why I've been crying at the Kodak commercials lately...I just need a good cry...

 

[silverwhisper]

MOW: i'll look that one up, thanks for the suggestion. :>

i think every college senior has that fear. life in college is wonderful: you can make your own hours in a way that many will never experience again. but every change is also an opportunity. i truly believe that. it's understandable that you're a bit wistful for the life you've known.

have you already figured out what path your life will take after graduation? now's a good time to be looking at potential employers, researching them, etc.

ed

 

[BXGemini20]

I guess everyone goes though a reflective period. It seems like since THanksgiving. I know 2006 will a huge of BIG changes for me and peoplr that I know. i will graduate college in 2006, but I don't know when yet. I want to reveal to someone I have a crush on them. And I am also thinking about who are my true friends are as I ams nearly 6 months away turning 22. Must be an adult thing. I never thought about these feeling before.

 

[Louise Brown]

This is the perfect time of year for feeling that way... it's the end of the year, and a lot of people take stock in what they've done over the past 12 months.

But it's also the perfect time of year to see if your regrets or what-ifs are valid or not, too. Send a holiday card to those to whom you'd like to stay close. If you get a card or some kind of sentiment back, you're already on your way there, hon... and if not? Then you were right in letting them go.

Best of luck to you!

 

[SweetAsApplePie]

Hmmm...maybe that's why I've been crying at the Kodak commercials lately...I just need a good cry...

I cry a lot this time of year...I think it's in the air, or the stars, or something.

 

[BXGemini20]

SOunds like some people need a hug. Maybe that's what I need.

 

[wideeyedgrin]

If I have this right. You're 21 or 22 years old, in college, away from home and the surroundings that were familiar to you for most of your life. You are in the process of making decisions that you belive impact the rest of your life, and there is no one close that you feel can give you the advice you want or the directions you should go in.

If this sound like you, welcome to life as a young adult. A great many of the decisions you make now about your future will be changed over time. Think about the graduate ith a degree in marine science that 10 years later is a computer programmer. Or the guy that started as an electronics technician that is now a minister. Life is like that. I know it may not sound like much, but you are working your way through.

 

[My Own Way]

If I have this right. You're 21 or 22 years old, in college, away from home and the surroundings that were familiar to you for most of your life. You are in the process of making decisions that you belive impact the rest of your life, and there is no one close that you feel can give you the advice you want or the directions you should go in.

If this sound like you, welcome to life as a young adult. A great many of the decisions you make now about your future will be changed over time. Think about the graduate ith a degree in marine science that 10 years later is a computer programmer. Or the guy that started as an electronics technician that is now a minister. Life is like that. I know it may not sound like much, but you are working your way through.

Thanks for the support Wideeye...I'm actually 23, just about to graduate grad school, and yeah...I'm away from home but my brothers really close and I talk to my mom daily. But in a way you're right. There are a lot of big choices coming my way in the next few months, and no matter how much I say that I'm ready to leave college...finally...I think a part of me is worried that I'll never find a job, I'll hate where I live, and that I actually have to grow up and pay my own bills...gasp.

On one hand, I'm perfectly willing to take just about any job that comes my way just so long as it seems interesting because I realize that just because it's my first real job, it doesn't necessarily have to be my last. At the same time though, I want a job in a specific town, and I want to make enough money to pay my bills. So yeah...there's pressure coming at me from a lot of angles, but I know I've got it pretty good and I'm not overly concerned. I'm not overly certain that these strange thinkings I'm having are provoked by anything at all or if they're just my blond mind working overtime

 

[ewopper]

I just posted this on the twentysomething thread...but I know not everyone reads that thread so I thought I'd pose this question to the greater lit community. I've been getting these strange sentimental feelings lately that maybe I've made a few mistakes over this past year in that I've let some really good people, mostly men, but not soley, walk out of my life. I'll admit, I'm not a very good communicator, I'm often shy and uncertain, and so there are many times when things I want to say go left unsaid and a lot of times, that doesn't bother me, but for some reason, this time it does. I just keep wondering, what if I had said just one little thing, or given them one little look...would things have been different? Don't get me wrong...I'm not talking about having a broken heart here or anything...most of the people I'm talking about were or are merely nodding acquaintances but I can't help but wondering what might have been if I hadn't let them slip away.

I don't know. Maybe I'm just being over sentimental. I know you can't change the past, and there's no guarentee that anything good might have come from being more encouraging but I guess it just bothers me that now I'll never know.

You're not the lone ranger on this, I go through that every time a woman smiles at me, and I don't follow up. If you're not physically or emotionally hurting from it don't worry about it. Chances come more than once.. contrary to popular belief. Just smile, know you're beautiful, and accept it