Silliness in porn you've seen...

[frostyghost09]

Alright I'v been trying to find the link for this vid, but I can't so I'll just have to describe.
A couple weeks ago I was looking for something to get me in the mood. I found this video that was pretty much a girl stripping then getting repeatedly fucked. It was pretty hot. The guy licked her, then proceeded to finger-fuck her. I was getting pretty turned on...
...at least I was until he decided to start narrating. If I'm trying to get off, I don't want or need to hear "put it back in, put it back in" in a slurred, drunk caveman voice. That's not sexy to me. It's downright silly, bordering on stupid.
....maybe I should've just kept the sound off....Anyway, if anyone has a similar example of porn-silliness to share, please feel free to join in

 

[Emerson40]

A few:

1) Where participants are clearly wasted, stumbling and fumbling their way through. Might as well have phoned in their performance.
2) Person on the screen (usually the woman) with the limited and repeated dialogue - "Yes, that's it! Fuck me!, Fuck me harder! Ohhhh! Yes, that's it! Fuck me!, Fuck me harder! Ohhhh!" Repeat, ad nauseam.
3) Fake spunk. I see enough pina colada mix spilled at beach parties, thanks.

There are more - there's a lot of shitty porn out there. But these came to mind.

 

[BongoGal]

The one I saw where the guy suddenly was wearing a Hulk mask seemed a little silly.

 

[85bird]

All the guys with 9" dicks that can fuck for hours...........

 

[sweetsoccermom]

changing accents

Saw one where one of the women started out with a British accent, then got all Jersey girl once the real action started - comical! Maybe pornspeak is like singing? I bet Eric Clapton gets all Jersey right before he cums, lol!

 

[frostyghost09]

All the guys with 9" dicks that can fuck for hours...........

Or the girls that can "do" the same without feeling pain?

 

[doowopdoowop]

Saw one where one of the women started out with a British accent, then got all Jersey girl once the real action started - comical! Maybe pornspeak is like singing? I bet Eric Clapton gets all Jersey right before he cums, lol!

HA! that's kind of awesome....

 

[85bird]

Or the girls that can "do" the same without feeling pain?

I have no idea what you're talking about

 

[Fingathing]

When girl has 2 dicks in her mouth and you can see guys discomfort... Swordfighting.

Always cracks me up.

 

[EclipseNight]

> When a black guy fucks the ugliest of white girl, and the black guy thinks he's badass and starts howling as he's moaning when fucking her.

Stop. You look stupid, close your mouth.

 

[Sistinas74]

Porn turn off's...

Extended plots, having to fast forward to the money shots. Bruises all over the women..feces with anal play. Annoying screaming and moaning..either they are faking it or just sound dumb. Ugly people, bad camera shots. Tacky music...if i have to press the mute button it must be bad.

 

[Wyldfire]

I think the sillier the porn, the more I like it these days...... But I'm jaded that way. Bring on the area 51 alien masks and the gold lame lingerie! Show me some corn fed apalachia babes getting the UFO abductee probes from some horny horny aliens!

 

[frostyghost09]

I gotta add "too much commentary" to my list....especially if (as is the case with a few "solo" vids i've seen) said commentary a) involves the name of the site it's from, and b) seems to happen every five seconds, inbetween clearly fake moans.

 

[LimoAndPizza]

The casting couch-style stuff always cracks me up. The guy's commentary is always terrible.

 

[EclipseNight]

Plots,

The long ones are SO stupid and super long, while the shorts one are equally stupid and so short to where it shouldn't even be there in the 1st place.

Actors,

I haven't seen one actor I'd bang, it's WONDERFUL to moan, it's a fetish of mine, but listening to them faking moan at the top of their lungs is just trashy to me.

Camera man,

Stop jacking off, you can't do both and you're moving the camera around to much.

Gangbang (w/ plot),

Why would that bitch even go to a place like THAT looking like THAT?

Gangbang (w/out plot),

She has one mouth, stop trying to using it all at once, can't blame her if ya'll get bit!

Bondage & Fetishes,

They obiviously don't know what their doing, probably copied from that quick S&M scene in family guy and thought everyone did it that way.

Gay Porn,

Can I get a proper gay film? I'm tired of seeing 12 yr old looking boys who's skinny as f*ck getting f*cked by age 56 guys with 12 inces ripping the lad part.

Lesbian Porn,

I didn't think it was possible, but they have no idea how to have lesbian sex.

Hentai,

Stop cumming oceans, just stop.

 

[LimoAndPizza]

40-year-old women trying to be passed off as babysitters, schoolgirls, or teens. Look, if you want to put an older woman in those outfits, that's fine, but don't try to build a whole plot to try to make it seem like they're actually 18.

Also, young women fucking old fat men. It's just hilarious.

 

[Wyldfire]

40-year-old women trying to be passed off as babysitters, schoolgirls, or teens. Look, if you want to put an older woman in those outfits, that's fine, but don't try to build a whole plot to try to make it seem like they're actually 18.

Also, young women fucking old fat men. It's just hilarious.

Oh you just wounded the whole "Daddy lovers" community!

And yeah, get the younger girls to play the younger girls...... Keep the older ladies in the whole MILF ommunity.

Damn, I just realized, I'd be in that community these days....

 

[LimoAndPizza]

Oh you just wounded the whole "Daddy lovers" community!

And yeah, get the younger girls to play the younger girls...... Keep the older ladies in the whole MILF ommunity.

Damn, I just realized, I'd be in that community these days....

Hey, you don't have to look like Ron Jeremy to be a daddy.

...and there's nothing wrong with moving up in categories to MILF.

 

[Wyldfire]

Hey, you don't have to look like Ron Jeremy to be a daddy.

...and there's nothing wrong with moving up in categories to MILF.

Hey now, Ron's a sweetie if you catch him in the right headspace.......

I used to say I'd die the day someone ever called me a MILF..... Nowadays I think I'd just giggle. Have to wonder if any of the kids at school look at me that way.....

 

[biguy2332]

Lemon stealing whore.

 

[Eiselmann]

Teacher/schoolboys ......hate it when the 'schoolboy' is supposed to be 18 and hes got tattoos or a bodybuilders torso or has a beard and clearly looks in his twenties if not older....if you can't find an actual 18 year old find someone who looks that age and not someone who looks older than the teacher

 

[Numerical_Value]

I would say that tacky music is the largest of turn-offs.
Not really that goofy, but when you watch some amateur videos and they start playing metal or like reggae while they fuck, it sort of just makes me smile.

 

[Black13]

Porn is dumb. There is no artistic merit to it: it is pornography. Porn should not attempt to have a plot or script or any scope of realism beyond the verisimilitude that makes a sexual fantasy at all tangible. It is a total buzzkill when I'm watching a porn that doesn't go directly to fucking... skip... buffering... skip... buffering, okay now we've got some titty. Then they say stupid shit in that abrasive throaty howl like "awww yeeeah, I want that facking cumm." Shut the hell up, porn babe, no shit you do. I'm working on it. And then when they cum, they sound like they just saw the Cubs win a World Series on the tv in a pub after they just smoked a whole pack of Newport 100s. Shut the hell up, Gianna Michaels, I'm trying to blow here! *mute* *crank up Pig Destroyer*

 

[justynail]

i like soem of the old films..... there was one i watched which was singing "puberty love". it may have come from "attack of the killer tomatoes".

i like the devil in miss jones. old fashioned but great anal

 

[frostyghost09]

i know porn's supposed to be cheesy, but there's a line between cheesy/fulfilling a fantasy and just ridiculous. If it gets ridiculous I'm not getting turned on.