Shy guy looking for help..

[witty_raghu]

Hello there people.. I'm Raghu, 21 from India.. I always get freaked out trying to approach girls.. Can any of you ladies help me out here..? Its just the initial talking that I have problem with.. Once I become comfortable, they start to like me.. But because of this shortcoming, I don't have many female friends.. Thanks

 

[Mr.G]

Shy

You a bit shy. You're a bit YOUNG too.

As you get older you'll develop some self confidence and it won't be such a battle to approach women. I think MOST guys are in the same boat. A few aren't and it looks like they are having ALL the fun. They are. Copy them.

 

[witty_raghu]

Thanks for the help.. I know I'm young.. but I don't want to this to be my weakness... I have confidence in me.. But its the approaching that freaks me out.. I would really appreciate if you shared some tips..

 

[Miles Long]

The only tip anyone can give you is to just get out there and do it. You will fail. A lot. But you'll get better at it. And while there are a few basic tips that are good advice - be confident, well groomed, etc. - the truth is that no approach is going to work on every single woman or on the same woman on different occasions. It gets easier, but you gotta do the work yourself. Trust me, it's totally worth it.

 

[ElijaRDC]

I'm a 24 yr-old female and the best thing I can tell you is force yourself to just do it and keep it simple. Walk up to a woman you want to get to know, smile warmly, and say hi. When she responds, offer a handshake, tell her your name, and ask what her name is.

If you're in a bar or club, DO NOT intro by asking to buy her a drink unless you're just looking for booty but it doesn't sound like you are; if you genuinely want to get to know her, let the conversation flow for a while first.

Yes, you are probably going to fall on your face and get rejected here and there, especially at the age you are, but the experience is going to show you what and what not to do. The important part is to not take it personally.

Best of luck to you

 

[SweetErika]

Thanks for the help.. I know I'm young.. but I don't want to this to be my weakness... I have confidence in me.. But its the approaching that freaks me out.. I would really appreciate if you shared some tips..

Why does approaching women freak you out? After all, the worst that could happen is them not being interested in talking to you (and that could just be bad timing for them, their own shyness, unavailability, etc.).

I agree that your best bet is practicing approaching/talking to as many women as possible with no expectations. Beyond the basics (hygiene, grooming, dressing confidently, respect, courtesy, etc.), don't worry about what they may or may not think about you or If they're interested, you'll gain valuable confidence, practice and perhaps make some new friends. If they're not, you'll still get great social skills out of the deal.

 

[witty_raghu]

Thanks guys.. Appreciate the help.. I'll talk to the next girl I see.. The only thing that freaked me out was how would she react and what would she think about me when I'd talk to her.. But reading all this.. I guess that doesn't matter that much.. Thanks again

 

[fuckmeat]

Look for excuses and common ground. Mundane things are what you need; nice, safe, impersonal and trivial things.

Us Brits are laughed at for talking about the weather but it's a universal, non-threatening ice-breaker. Trivial things like that give you a reason to open a conversation. Because you have a topic, you're not left talking about yourself and looking arrogant, or suddenly asking questions about her, which can look predatory and make girls defensive. Once you're talking, she'll either be open for the dialogue to move on into basic introductory pleasantries or she'll politely discourage you. You can then wind up the chat and go your way with dignity.

Erika has great points as always. Opening doors for girls, offering to help if they're struggling with a task, courtesy like that will get chatting and earn you a reputation as a good guy. Also, remember that any girl you talk to is likely feeling as shy as you are

Hopefully this won't sound stereotypical or offensive and you get bigots in every country but... I understand that in India some people are very traditional about women's roles in society, so it would probably be a good thing to make sure you treat girls as intelligent equals who may have other goals in life than marriage and motherhood. Be interested in what she has to say and less so in worrying about talking about yourself to try and impress her.

 

[Hhot]

Hello there people.. I'm Raghu, 21 from India.. I always get freaked out trying to approach girls.. Can any of you ladies help me out here..? Its just the initial talking that I have problem with.. Once I become comfortable, they start to like me.. But because of this shortcoming, I don't have many female friends.. Thanks

I am going to unleash a goldmine on you. So, do me proud, ok?

Try this site:http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php


Note: Some of the posts can be a touch sexist (so beware of that) but it mostly encourages confidence and practical techniques for guys. Kind of like an online Cosmopolitan Brotherhood.