Shy Domme...? I don't know, so confused!

[Sweet_and_sour]

I used to be the Sub...or so I thought, my boyfriend though, is much more submissive than I am, and I am naturally the bossy type. He seems interested in it, and I know I am. I gradually talk about things like tieing up and interesting foreplay with feathers and all sorts of things, he likes it. We have a long distance relationship, seen pictures, talked over the internet and on the phone but I'm still really shy. I get these things were I can be majorly outgoing and crazy and other times where I just am too shy to do anything. Maybe it isn't so much shy and I feel scared that he wont love me if I'm not pretty enough. I'm not sure now if I'm a sub or domme x-x.

I mean, I'm not fat, but I'm not a pencil either, I feel so insecure about my thighs (though he has seen them and thinks I'm beautiful) and I feel that he will think someone is better. And then I get the whole I don't know "sub-drop" or kinda... Like after something (like today, webcam), he had to go and I was near tears, and it has happened before.

I don't know, sorry if this seems like spam or whatever.

 

[FurryFury]

You feel rejected when he has to leave and you don't have to go?

That's totally normal, particularly when you are newly into online stuff.

Just about everyone is insecure, particularly women about body image issues. Men don't usually care that much as long as they get what they want out of the relationship and you.

*HUG*

I hope you get to feeling better very soon.

 

[Sweet_and_sour]

You feel rejected when he has to leave and you don't have to go?

That's totally normal, particularly when you are newly into online stuff.

Just about everyone is insecure, particularly women about body image issues. Men don't usually care that much as long as they get what they want out of the relationship and you.

*HUG*

I hope you get to feeling better very soon.

I wish I could say I was newly into online stuff, but I had at 6 month relationship online before.

 

[FurryFury]

I wish I could say I was newly into online stuff, but I had at 6 month relationship online before.

It's new-ish with this one though right?

 

[Sweet_and_sour]

It's new-ish with this one though right?

New to the point that I've shown my body naked.

 

[FurryFury]

New to the point that I've shown my body naked.

LOL!

That's not very um, helpful in terms of defining how "new" it is.

I mean some people fuck on the first date and some people, even the same person might not fuck at all on a later date.

LMAO!

*hug*

Anyway, I hope you feel better soon.



I must try to get some sleep. I have an ungodly early call tomorrow.

*groan*

 

[Sweet_and_sour]

LOL!

That's not very um, helpful in terms of defining how "new" it is.

I mean some people fuck on the first date and some people, even the same person might not fuck at all on a later date.

LMAO!

*hug*

Anyway, I hope you feel better soon.



I must try to get some sleep. I have an ungodly early call tomorrow.

*groan*

^ ^; Oh sorry, uhm, I guess new for me because it's a different person . I'm not the type to fuck on a first date so it means a lot to me. (Him seeing me naked)

 

[EmpressFi]

I mean, I'm not fat, but I'm not a pencil either, I feel so insecure about my thighs (though he has seen them and thinks I'm beautiful) and I feel that he will think someone is better. And then I get the whole I don't know "sub-drop" or kinda... Like after something (like today, webcam), he had to go and I was near tears, and it has happened before.

I don't know, sorry if this seems like spam or whatever.

Believe me.. I know how you feel here.. being someone who IS overweight, I have issues with believing anyone would want me. The part I bolded is what you need to cling to. When you have those feelings of doubts, just tell yourself that he thinks you're beautiful. Say it until you believe it, too

 

[catalina_francisco]

I mean, I'm not fat, but I'm not a pencil either, I feel so insecure about my thighs (though he has seen them and thinks I'm beautiful) and I feel that he will think someone is better. And then I get the whole I don't know "sub-drop" or kinda... Like after something (like today, webcam), he had to go and I was near tears, and it has happened before.

Hmmm, I'm not into the whole webcam thing to start with but from what you say, I would say you need to do a lot of self work on your own self image and self esteem. I think most of us have insecurities at times, but it sounds as if you are letting them take over and get out of hand through your own feelings of being less than perfect. One thing to focus on is there is no such thing as perfection. What is gorgeous to one person is boring or of no interest to another. For example, I see so often people going gaga over young women who flash their young and smallish, almost non-existent breasts in pics....me, even when I was a miniature size all over myself have never found them attractive and see them as needing to develop before I see them as womanly....F feels the same...we both much prefer a body with curves, character, meat, something of interest and substance to look at than something that is straight up and down almost, thin with little definition to look at, and basically like a million others....it is about taste and perception, not what constitutes perfect.

Secondly, what might help you to stop feeling so insecure about your appearance is that if that is the total measure someone is going to judge you on in terms of appeal, than it is not you they are assessing, it is an image not a person and likely someone who is not going to be very great to have a relationship with as they are too superficial, not to mention focused on the wrong thing if it is a Domme they are looking for. Do you need to live up to their idea of perfection or do you need to be accepted for who you are? Who is in charge, you or them? Are they perfect? If not, and I am sure they aren't, why do you think you should have to be just to be accepted?

Catalina

 

[FurryFury]

^ ^; Oh sorry, uhm, I guess new for me because it's a different person . I'm not the type to fuck on a first date so it means a lot to me. (Him seeing me naked)

I see, so it too a while to get to that point.

I'm insecure like that too. I hate for anyone but my husband to see me naked. Cam just ain't going to happen.

OTOH, I have fucked on a first date once. It's not my style but you never know.

 

[Sweet_and_sour]

Thanks everyone.

 

[Sweet_and_sour]

Wow, thanks for all of that . I was going to edit my post (I just got home) and say. "I do think I take an insecurity and make it worse than it is." and I do, I grew up in a family where I was called fat at a young age, and when I look at pictures of me when I was "fat" and I had a boyish figure then, not fat at all, so I kinda have a disorted self image, which is no excuse and I am working on it.

He's going to be coming here next year, which I can't wait, I hate webcam, I'm normally one of those people who rolls their eyes at this sort of thing...Normally. You made lots of sense with "that if that is the total measure someone is going to judge you on in terms of appeal, than it is not you they are assessing, it is an image not a person and likely someone who is not going to be very great to have a relationship with as they are too superficial, not to mention focused on the wrong thing if it is a Domme they are looking for." I am a person that does my best to always like someone for their personality, because otherwise it's just lust and lust can die, plus, I don't really understand how people can have flings, so I want a relationship that will last, also, I try to follow that because I want someone to want my personality, "beauty" on the outside can be marred and if someone doesn't love you for not being "beautiful" anymore, that's pretty heartbreaking.

That was lots of random stuff. <- *Feels like I need to explain myself for some reason.*

 

[Sweet_and_sour]

I see, so it too a while to get to that point.

I'm insecure like that too. I hate for anyone but my husband to see me naked. Cam just ain't going to happen.

OTOH, I have fucked on a first date once. It's not my style but you never know.

Well, I can understand WHY people fuck *dislikes that word lol* on the first date, but I guess I would feel worthless if I did it, but this is coming from someone that doesn't understand the concept of going to a bar and randomly talking to someone you don't know. I know, "meeting new people, obviously you don't know everyone and must talk to people you don't know." <-(what most people say)Oh I can talk to random strangers anywhere, heck I watched a womans child and her things while she went to the bathroom (I offered) because I have this thing where people can just tell I'm a good person. I even offered her my ID Card, put her at ease. I talked to this woman on the bus who said that she doesn't let anyone babysit her daughter, but she let me, someone she just met a bit before. Even though I've done it, I still find it odd... Wow, how'd this turn out to be so long and pointless XD

 

[FurryFury]

LOL!

I dislike the term "making love" preferring the words "fuck", "screw" or just "having sex" to such a overblown and IMO, misused term.

The guy I fucked on a first date was someone I'd know for well over ten years. It was also someone I'd just spent a few days with while both of us were dying to touch each other but for various reasons didn't feel we could. He left the town we took a trip to before I did.

Upon returning home I called him and asked him if he wanted to come over to fuck.

He did.

That was our first "date." We weren't virgins. I was separated from my first husband at the time.

We were almost immediately inseparable after that. We've been together 18 years and married almost 16.

At the time I was having serious self esteem issues because my first husband had walked out on my while I was pregnant and because I was pregnant I was as horny as porn stars pretend to be. LOL.

After we did it, a few times, I liked myself just fine.

People seem to think I'm easy to talk to and trustworthy too. That can be a great thing. It can also be a bad thing when people impose too much.

 

[Sweet_and_sour]

Hey, sorry I haven't responded, majorly swamped with things, my sister found a bluenose pitbull chained to a pole and now we are taking care of it until friday (we had it since tuesday), we are hoping our aunt will take it. Poor thing. Its owner left it.

What I had thought was more of a one night stand sort of thing, not that you knew the person for quite a while, so it's more understandable to me then.

Horny as porn stars pretend to be~

haha! That's amazing.