Should I be upset?

[Sinfully_yours]

I am a hetero female and my friend is a lesbian... she didnt tell me for over a year because she thought I would hate her...Should I be upset? I mean I feel I should be because she didnt trust me enough and because she thought I was like all the other idiots out there who treat their friends and family members differently because they're gay..I would like your opinions.

Sin

 

[Queersetti]

I am a hetero female and my friend is a lesbian... she didnt tell me for over a year because she thought I would hate her...Should I be upset? I mean I feel I should be because she didnt trust me enough and because she thought I was like all the other idiots out there who treat their friends and family members differently because they're gay..I would like your opinions.

Sin

I can understand that you feel hurt that she didn't trust you sooner, but she does apparently trust you now.

Consider how deeply she must have feared losing your friendship. If she was less than open with you, it was because she valued you as a friend, and didn't want to risk losing you.

Coming out to friends can be a terrifying process. I hope you can find it within you to understand how difficult it was for her, and react with compassion.

 

[sweetwetslut]

What Q said.

 

[Megadeth]

Post removed for violation for forum guidelines.

 

[CuriousNiceGuy]

Hmm..I don't think you should be angry..
I am bi and I told my BEST friend a year after I admitted it to myself.
I trusted him back then and I trust him the same now..(maybe even more?..)
Sometimes it's just not easy to say.
I know it sort of seems like she wasn't trusting you, but she DID say it to you, while she could just hide it.That means she trusts you enough with one of the most important facts about her.She was courageous enough to tell you(about a matter which always is hard to say when you're not out) so why get angry at her?That would make both you and her unhappy..

Lastly, sometimes people that we trust and are close to us, get confused and angry over matters that don't affect them negatively.
Take your friend for example.She values your friendship so much, that she wouldn't want to ruin it for anything.Deep in her she probably knew and hoped you wouldn't have a problem with her sexuality(which you don't it seems ), but she thought it was just not worth risking.
But when she told you, she showed you her trust.She was completely vulnerable to you that moment.Your reaction could have made her REALLY sad or happy.

Now that you know, you should just be happy with the fact that your friend feels you THAT close, that she'd tell you such a thing.
All the above are from my personal experience which is quite similar to your friend's.

 

[John Doe]

Yes, you should be very upset with her. You should stomp your feet and call her a big fat meanie head. Why? Because I said so.

 

[Half-Cat]

I am a hetero female and my friend is a lesbian... she didnt tell me for over a year because she thought I would hate her...Should I be upset? I mean I feel I should be because she didnt trust me enough and because she thought I was like all the other idiots out there who treat their friends and family members differently because they're gay..I would like your opinions.

Sin

Hmmm...Reminds me of my best friend. Ok kiddies, story time . He came out to me in high school after we had been friends for years. He said "I have something important to tell you, and I don't know how you're going to take it, but I have to tell you"...

Me: Ok...
Him: <deep breath> I'm gay.
Me: Yeah, and?
Him: <blink><blink> What?
Me: You mean that's it?
Him: Well, yeah.
Me: Oh man, don't scare me like that. I thought you we're going to tell me you were dying or something.

It took every bit of courage he had to tell me, his best friend, because he was afraid that, even though he was my best friend, it would change things between us. Did I get upset because he didn't tell me sooner? No. I understood why he waited, and was flattered that he trusted me enough to tell me something that not many people knew. I took it as a sign of our friendship and trust that he DID tell me.

 

[Sinfully_yours]

whoa!

Hmmm...Reminds me of my best friend. Ok kiddies, story time . He came out to me in high school after we had been friends for years. He said "I have something important to tell you, and I don't know how you're going to take it, but I have to tell you"...

Me: Ok...
Him: <deep breath> I'm gay.
Me: Yeah, and?
Him: <blink><blink> What?
Me: You mean that's it?
Him: Well, yeah.
Me: Oh man, don't scare me like that. I thought you we're going to tell me you were dying or something.

It took every bit of courage he had to tell me, his best friend, because he was afraid that, even though he was my best friend, it would change things between us. Did I get upset because he didn't tell me sooner? No. I understood why he waited, and was flattered that he trusted me enough to tell me something that not many people knew. I took it as a sign of our friendship and trust that he DID tell me.

Cat, thats how mine went!! Word for word! Exactly.. I thought she was going to tell me that she has cancer or something horrible like that..

Thanks guy for your advice...

Sin

 

[Sinfully_yours]

lol

Yes, you should be very upset with her. You should stomp your feet and call her a big fat meanie head. Why? Because I said so.

*giggles* you crack me up

 

[Half-Cat]

Cat, thats how mine went!! Word for word! Exactly.. I thought she was going to tell me that she has cancer or something horrible like that..

Really? Now that's just a bit spooky .

Thanks guy for your advice...

Sin

Y'welcum . Glad to help.

 

[horny in sd]

tough call but...

i dont think you should be upset. thats not an easy thing to tell people no matter how much you care for them. just think about how hard it is to tell siblings and family memebers and those are the people who love you no matter what.

 

[Tymeless]

yeah don't be angry be happy i'm in the process of telling everyone that i'm really a woman and that i'll be becoming that woman i was supposed to be. all my friends are understanding and its great. but it still doesn't make telling the next person any less nerve racking. the last thing we wanna do is lose the friends and family we have whether we are gay straight lesbian bi or transgendered.


Tiffany

 

[John Doe]

*giggles* you crack me up

Yeah, I crack me up too.

Nice av, wanna fuck?