Should a lover try to accomodate their partner's sexual requests?

[aye_H8_ewe]

If one partner in a relationship makes a reasonable sexual request that the other partner doesn't particularly want to do, should the partner being asked at least try to accomodate the request?

By this I mean a reasonable request, something maybe a little bit more than missionary position with the lights out but not S & M or sex hanging from the chandeliers or something really crazy like that.

I always thought this was a given, but it seems like many on here don't think so.

 

[yossi]

You should never guilt someone into performing a sexual act. One man's reasonable is another man's hard line.

Should you engage in a healthy dialogue about sex with your partner and see if you can reach a compromise? Certainly.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

They'll do it for their boss, so they should do it for you.

 

[aye_H8_ewe]

You should never guilt someone into performing a sexual act. One man's reasonable is another man's hard line.

Should you engage in a healthy dialogue about sex with your partner and see if you can reach a compromise? Certainly.

Why have a relationship if you're not even going to try to please your partner?

 

[kotori]

It's good to push the boundaries. Sometimes when they're crossed it's uncomfortable. Sometimes it's too far. Sometimes it's an entire new country to be explored.

Edit: discussion is essential. Before and after. We're presuming this is a relationship.

 

[Recidiva]

No. And under all circumstances call them names that irritate them.

 

[lovetoread]

Heck my partner keeps telling me no when I ask for the really hard stuff.

 

[Leslie22]

no...

 

[yossi]

Why have a relationship if you're not even going to try to please your partner?

I don't know where you got that from my post.

 

[aye_H8_ewe]

no...

Could you possibly expand on that a little?

 

[doctor_insanus]

Requests?

Entertain me! *clap clap*

 

[shewantsmore]

i think the partner should at least try and make there partner happy,a relationship is built on give and take

 

[Recidiva]

I refuse to vote under the protest that the starting question doesn't define terms and I think they're going to go back to their partner and say "See, baby, you're wrong. People on the internet think you should totally do that thing with the snorkel and the penguin I asked you to do."

 

[aye_H8_ewe]

Ok, so here's the thing.

I used to have a girlfriend who was game for almost anything I'd suggest like sex in the park or oral sex with toothpaste or various scenarios we'd act out. Sometimes I'd suggest stuff just assuming she would say no and to my surprise she was cool wanted to do them. Yet, period sex was completely out of the question. The only thing pretty much she'd say no to. I could go down on her IF she had tampon in but she'd never take it out in front of me, never let me see her bleeding. The more she said no, the more I wanted it but nope never.

Then I had another girlfriend who all about the sex. She especially loved period sex and wanted it even more. She had no problem with me going down on her then (though it was difficult to get my nerve up the first time so did it in the shower). However, she completed refused to do any scenarios, role playing, sex in public, anything fun like that. I wanted to do a prostitute scenario where she'd wait for me on the corner and I would pull up and offer her money to have sex and she'd do it. Just something fun to spice things up. Well, she was absolutely steadfast against this. I tried and tried to get her to do it and she completely refused. I mean, what the hell is the harm in some play acting?

I know there are even wives who refuse to have sex at all, so not I'm not really complaining, but still what was the big deal? Plus both them had major expectations of me outside of sex, like spending money on them or going to the ballet or symphony or shit like that that I hate. I did it, so yes, it seemed like they didn't have to be so stubborn.

 

[Recidiva]

...and I was right.

 

[girlsmiley]

Requests?

Entertain me! *clap clap*

:monkey dance:

 

[girlsmiley]

Ok, so here's the thing.

I used to have a girlfriend who was game for almost anything I'd suggest like sex in the park or oral sex with toothpaste or various scenarios we'd act out. Sometimes I'd suggest stuff just assuming she would say no and to my surprise she was cool wanted to do them. Yet, period sex was completely out of the question. The only thing pretty much she'd say no to. I could go down on her IF she had tampon in but she'd never take it out in front of me, never let me see her bleeding. The more she said no, the more I wanted it but nope never.

Then I had another girlfriend who all about the sex. She especially loved period sex and wanted it even more. She had no problem with me going down on her then (though it was difficult to get my nerve up the first time so did it in the shower). However, she completed refused to do any scenarios, role playing, sex in public, anything fun like that. I wanted to do a prostitute scenario where she'd wait for me on the corner and I would pull up and offer her money to have sex and she'd do it. Just something fun to spice things up. Well, she was absolutely steadfast against this. I tried and tried to get her to do it and she completely refused. I mean, what the hell is the harm in some play acting?

I know there are even wives who refuse to have sex at all, so not I'm not really complaining, but still what was the big deal? Plus both them had major expectations of me outside of sex, like spending money on them or going to the ballet or symphony or shit like that that I hate. I did it, so yes, it seemed like they didn't have to be so stubborn.

Yeah.

 

[girlsmiley]

...and I was right.

Stop being stubborn.

 

[MonaLittle]

Stop being stubborn.

Stop being demanding.
The answer is still no

 

[Recidiva]

Stop being stubborn.

Fine. I'll do the snorkel thing for you. But ONLY you.

 

[kotori]

...but still what was the big deal?...

The sense or sensibility of it doesn't matter. If your partner has a hard limit, get over it or get out.

 

[IrezumiKiss]

Plus both them had major expectations of me outside of sex, like spending money on them or going to the ballet or symphony or shit like that that I hate.

This is where you messed up. True compromise in accommodating undesirables can be made palatable with a little elbow grease on your imagination and creativity.

You should've said, "I'll take you to that avant-garde production of Swan Lake featuring Diamanda Galas at the amphitheater you've been dying to check out...but only if you wear a polyester mini-skirt with no panties so I can finger you in your seat during the arias."

 

[girlsmiley]

Stop being demanding.
The answer is still no

Why can't you be exactly like my other girlfriend only better and different?

Fine. I'll do the snorkel thing for you. But ONLY you.

Psst. You're supposed to be making this difficult.

 

[Recidiva]

Psst. You're supposed to be making this difficult.

Oh. Well. I won't do the penguin thing.

 

[girlsmiley]

Oh. Well. I won't do the penguin thing.

What's the penguin thing?