"Shit, you're serious."

[Blase]

Ever find another Lit member to be taken aback when they realize you do not just want to play with them, then move on?

The comment in this thread's title is one that I actually got one day after chatting with a girl at some length. I started to say that we seemed to have some compatibility and might have a chance at forming a friendship (I wasn't discounting the possibility of more but I wasn't joking about the idea of us becoming friends) when she suddenly said "Shit, you're serious".

Well... yeah. She was smart. She was eloquent. She was kind. And I've met other people here on Lit who possessed those and other appealing traits.

Why would I want to just brush against someone like that, then throw them away?

I realize it's critical to have one's antennae up on the Internet, but encountering someone who hasn't even considered that I might be genuinely interested in them for more than a one-off orgasm is still jarring, at times.

 

[lothwen]

Ever find another Lit member to be taken aback when they realize you do not just want to play with them, then move on?

The comment in this thread's title is one that I actually got one day after chatting with a girl at some length. I started to say that we seemed to have some compatibility and might have a chance at forming a friendship (I wasn't discounting the possibility of more but I wasn't joking about the idea of us becoming friends) when she suddenly said "Shit, you're serious".

Well... yeah. She was smart. She was eloquent. She was kind. And I've met other people here on Lit who possessed those and other appealing traits.

Why would I want to just brush against someone like that, then throw them away?

I realize it's critical to have one's antennae up on the Internet, but encountering someone who hasn't even considered that I might be genuinely interested in them for more than a one-off orgasm is still jarring, at times.

That's interesting. I understand this is an "erotica" site, but when I talk to people, I like to have in depth and meaningful conversations. Well, as in-depth and meaningful as you can be online.

 

[Blase]

That's interesting. I understand this is an "erotica" site, but when I talk to people, I like to have in depth and meaningful conversations. Well, as in-depth and meaningful as you can be online.

Hijacking my own thread for a moment to say that I recognize the Tolkien quote in your user title.

Nicely done.

 

[lothwen]

Hijacking my own thread for a moment to say that I recognize the Tolkien quote in your user title.

Nicely done.

Continuing with the hijack to say "thanks"


And to admit that I had to look it up when I first created my profile, and had to re-look it up when I came back to the forum

 

[Twlightdreamer]

Ever find another Lit member to be taken aback when they realize you do not just want to play with them, then move on?

The comment in this thread's title is one that I actually got one day after chatting with a girl at some length. I started to say that we seemed to have some compatibility and might have a chance at forming a friendship (I wasn't discounting the possibility of more but I wasn't joking about the idea of us becoming friends) when she suddenly said "Shit, you're serious".

Well... yeah. She was smart. She was eloquent. She was kind. And I've met other people here on Lit who possessed those and other appealing traits.

Why would I want to just brush against someone like that, then throw them away?

I realize it's critical to have one's antennae up on the Internet, but encountering someone who hasn't even considered that I might be genuinely interested in them for more than a one-off orgasm is still jarring, at times.

I can only speak for myself, but in a way... I expect it to happen every time. No matter how well I may get along with someone, how much I may enjoy their persona via text... I try not to expect anything to ever happen again.

You're going to ask why... *shrugs* I'm not sure. Chalk it up to this being in the internet- Bonjour. (Please tell me you've seen that commerical.)

 

[Blase]

I can only speak for myself, but in a way... I expect it to happen every time. No matter how well I may get along with someone, how much I may enjoy their persona via text... I try not to expect anything to ever happen again.

You're going to ask why... *shrugs* I'm not sure. Chalk it up to this being in the internet- Bonjour. (Please tell me you've seen that commerical.)

First, I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I don't know which commercial you're alluding to.

Second, I think you're wise to school yourself to have no expectations of a new acquaintance (and I would say the same about a real life situation), but that isn't quite the same as not even considering that there might be more to them than the desire to get off and move on.

I'm not saying that this happens with every woman I meet: It doesn't.

But when it does, it's just sort of breath-taking to meet someone who is obviously intelligent and quite capable of more than a cyber drive-by, only to find them astonished when they realize that you might actually be interested in more.

I suppose part of what I'm encountering must be negative stereotyping of males.

 

[MedicalMuse]

Two Cents: the overwhelming majority are here to get their rocks off. Being friends doesn't typically occur to them. When things like that develop, if they've been around long enough, it seems like most people are waiting for the time when they'll be hurt or disappointed. Being online makes people forget their actions still have consequences.

 

[jameslewis]

Two Cents: the overwhelming majority are here to get their rocks off. Being friends doesn't typically occur to them. When things like that develop, if they've been around long enough, it seems like most people are waiting for the time when they'll be hurt or disappointed. Being online makes people forget their actions still have consequences.

I guess that makes me a real minority. While I love to play as much as anyone else I think (with one exception, sadly) that I still chat with all of my partners and consider them friends as well. I'm not looking to put up numbers, rather to enjoy the folks I do connect with. I know MedicalMuse is partially right, but there are definitely exceptions and plenty of good people who are looking to make connections.

 

[Dream59]

Depending on how much time you spend here, it is possible to develop strong relationships. Those can be either friendship or sexual or both. If you spend a lot of time on here talking to someone you may be spending more time with them than with a spouse or SO. Also sometimes people feel more at ease with the distance that the internet provides and therefore will be more open and honest so that you can really get to know them faster than they would allow someone in person to get to know them. I guess it is just all about what you want. I have no desire to cyber with a woman so some may feel more comfortable with that.

 

[beingtrue2me]

I get the complete opposite reaction quite often. The you can't be serious remark or something along those lines. I seldom take anyone serious especially around this zoo and often my remarks catch people by surprise. I say what we sometimes feel but seldom if ever actually put into words especially on a site like this.