Sexual Compatibility - How Important is it?

[Rubyfruit]

The message I got when I was younger was that it wasn't all that important in the scheme of things when choosing a life mate.

I couldn't disagree more now.

What are your thoughts?

 

[TWB]

I am pretty certain our bodies would fit together nicely.














Seriously, I think if you have two people whose need and desire for sex is discordant, it will create problems. It will be one source of frustration for someone, which creates disharmony.

I think it is important, but it is not the only issue.

 

[Rambrat]

Definately important. As someone once said...it is the glue that holds a relationship together.

 

[Soblue]

I don't think it's necessary to have the exact same kinks and desires, but it has to be a pretty close match or else one will end up feeling frustrated.

Of course sex isn't the only thing that's important, but it's up there at the top for me.

 

[Rubyfruit]

Yes, certainly not the only issue, TWB, but more important than I think many people know.

Disharmony (good word), loneliness, lack of emotional intimacy ... plus, it's hard sharing space with somebody. I tend to do it better if I'm getting fucked on a regular basis.

 

[kotori]

"I want to sniff the glue that holds us together" 311

(I forget which song, but it's on the From Chaos CD.)

Hell yes, it's important. Sex is very important in a romantic relationship, and sexual compatibility--well, it goes without saying, I think.

 

[Shiner]

It is fairly important but not the only thing that defines a relationship.

 

[Lancecastor]

I was brought up to believe in that whole romantic love Princess Bride true love stuff....which I still believe in.

At the same time, most scientific research into the psychology and biology of human attraction says that up to 95% of what makes mates compatible is chemical and sexual.

To me, the word "Compatibility" suggests a range of factors to be discussed and tested during intensive field trials.... from the Lancecastor Libido Index to the Castormatic Kink O' Meter and the Lanciepants Multiple Orgasm Generator....there are so many variables to be charted before long term comnpatibility can be firmly entrenched!

Homer (no not Simpson; the literature dude) said that the greatest love shall last but a thousand days.

Roughly three years.

Scientists now think he was talking about the chemical fade that occurs between couples after 2-3 years.

After that, you'd better like him/her for more than that little squeaking noise he/she makes when cumming, or break up.

 

[Rambrat]

I don't think it's necessary to have the exact same kinks and desires, but it has to be a pretty close match or else one will end up feeling frustrated.

Of course sex isn't the only thing that's important, but it's up there at the top for me.

Communication about wants and desires is important as well. Your sex life can just keep getting better as you draw closer and become more adventurous.

 

[Chuckus]

It is important, if you aren't sexually compatible then it makes things tough. By that, I mean, I understand that sex isn't everything but you have to at least be compatible ~ within reason like similar things and willing to try/do similar things.

Sex is more than just a physical act once your in a committed relationship. Sure, there are times when just a good old "fuck" is needed, but there are other times when your two bodies come together and..............

Sex is an integral part of any relationship, without the wheels might very well fall off.

 

[patient1]

I hope I never have the breadth of experience to express an informed opinion.

My hunch is that there's validity in something I've read years ago, & more recently been told by somebody happily married for many years - "Sex is maybe 10 % of a great relationship, but 90%" of a bad one."

 

[TWB]

Yes, certainly not the only issue, TWB, but more important than I think many people know.

Disharmony (good word), loneliness, lack of emotional intimacy ... plus, it's hard sharing space with somebody. I tend to do it better if I'm getting fucked on a regular basis.

Me too, I agree. Spanking, tickling, and biting helps too.

 

[intrigued]

Hot Damn! I smiled at Lanciepants before I could stop myself!

I can only add that it doesn't have to fade or weaken, it can be a journey that lasts a llife time, as Ram said, and communication and loving eachother ALL the time (not just when you aren't tired, etc...) is how you get there.

Its extremely important.

 

[TWB]

"Sex is maybe 10 % of a great relationship, but 90%" of a bad one."

Very well said.

 

[Desert Amazon]

 

[perks]

The message I got when I was younger was that it wasn't all that important in the scheme of things when choosing a life mate.

I couldn't disagree more now.

What are your thoughts?

I think that I agree with this completely.

However, I've changed so much in the past six years, that I don't know if I would have known who I was going to be compatible with.

I think I should have found someone that was open, instead of the criteria I chose by.

I chose for non sexual reasons.

I think that's the reason second marriages work so well. You finally realize not only what you want in a marriage but what you need in a marriage.

 

[Lancecastor]

"Sex is maybe 10 % of a great relationship, but 90%" of a bad one."

The royalty check goes to Dr. Phil on that one, I think.

 

[Chuckus]

Re: Re: Sexual Compatibility - How Important is it?

I think that's the reason second marriages work so well. You finally realize not only what you want in a marriage but what you need in a marriage.

Your dead on, I found out the first time round (in marriage and by divorce) to seek out what I need as well as what I want. It is very important to know the difference and what your personal preferances are and what you have to have.

 

[kotori]

Re: Re: Sexual Compatibility - How Important is it?

I think I should have found someone that was open, instead of the criteria I chose by.

I chose for non sexual reasons.

hmmm, "too many chefs spoil the broth."

 

[perks]

Re: Re: Re: Sexual Compatibility - How Important is it?

hmmm, "too many chefs spoil the broth."

but you said you liked my broth.

 

[kotori]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Sexual Compatibility - How Important is it?

but you said you liked my broth.

I do. Salty enough. Spicy enough. Umm, yummers.

But I was thinking that I probably wouldn't want my partner in life to have the same profession. More "competition" than "compatability." That might just be my insecurity showing through, though.

 

[Rubyfruit]

Re: Re: Sexual Compatibility - How Important is it?

I chose for non sexual reasons.

I think that's the reason second marriages work so well. You finally realize not only what you want in a marriage but what you need in a marriage.

I did too, Perky. I thought that aspect of it would get better over time. It got worse.

Promise me it will be better the second time around, ok?

 

[perks]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Sexual Compatibility - How Important is it?

I do. Salty enough. Spicy enough. Umm, yummers.

But I was thinking that I probably wouldn't want my partner in life to have the same profession. More "competition" than "compatability." That might just be my insecurity showing through, though.

no, you're right.

 

[Chuckus]

Re: Re: Re: Sexual Compatibility - How Important is it?

I did too, Perky. I thought that aspect of it would get better over time. It got worse.

Promise me it will be better the second time around, ok?

Well, it should given that we learn from our prior misgivinigs/mistakes/misfortunes? I learned alot about what I needed/wanted versus a mindset...........

It will be better the second time around, just make sure and wade thru the piles of crap from the first time, you will be able to pick some beautiful flowers growing.

 

[perks]

Re: Re: Re: Sexual Compatibility - How Important is it?

I did too, Perky. I thought that aspect of it would get better over time. It got worse.

Promise me it will be better the second time around, ok?

are you really going to do time two? I really don't think I could.

It doesn't make sense to me anymore.

To hook up with someone forever? That just seems like the stupidest thing to do. I'm just guessing here, but it might be my situation. *laughing*