Sexless Marriages

[Strixaluco]

This is soooo true. I miss the sex, and the intimacy just as much. I'm very affectionate, love cuddling, snuggling, touching...holding each other. I miss that!

Intimacy without sex makes for a better life than sex without intimacy.

 

[HampshireBoy]

Intimacy without sex makes for a better life than sex without intimacy.

Absolutely

 

[Strixaluco]

Absolutely

I've tried both, unfortunately. (And also relationship without either, that was really miserable.)

 

[HampshireBoy]

I've tried both, unfortunately. (And also relationship without either, that was really miserable.)

My first marriage became(very occasional) sex with no intimacy, cuddles, kisses, etc and then no sex - definitely the worst. I've had sex with no real feelings, which to be honest wasn't much good. Now I have a lot of love, with plenty of intimacy but next to no sex which is the best of that bad bunch, still miss sex though.

 

[Strixaluco]

My first marriage became(very occasional) sex with no intimacy, cuddles, kisses, etc and then no sex - definitely the worst. I've had sex with no real feelings, which to be honest wasn't much good. Now I have a lot of love, with plenty of intimacy but next to no sex which is the best of that bad bunch, still miss sex though.

For me it was kind of the other way around. With my first ex sex faded away, but there was always lots of hugging and intimacy. (Missed some other vital things - I understand it a lot better now that I've found my little side.) Sex with no feelings with some short-term partners, that lefts one empty. Then 2nd ex with both intimacy & sex (he missed something vital for him, though - but I couldn't make myself energetic enough to go out constantly as he wants). And my late husband was never much of a hugger, and the sex indeed faded totally away, so then their was neither.

Now on the 4th round... this seems pretty promising in all senses.

 

[AspiringAuthor]

In discussing lack of intimacy with a support group I belong to on Facebook, I made a rather odd discovery, or arrived at a conclusion. Even with the lack of physical intimacy between my long-distance love and me, he's been a better, more loving partner for me in almost three years than my husband has been in twenty-six years. My boyfriend fulfills the emotional and mental intimacy I've craved for the longest time. He's my intellectual equal, though I think sometimes he has more smarts than I do. And, he makes me laugh so much more than my husband ever did.

I thought I'd feel like I'd missed out if I died tomorrow and never had sex again in my life. But I don't think that's the case anymore, because I have loved, and been loved, more deeply than I ever imagined. That sounds like true fulfillment.

 

[Strixaluco]

Even with the lack of physical intimacy between my long-distance love and me, he's been a better, more loving partner for me in almost three years than my husband has been in twenty-six years.

Makes me wonder - why are you still married?
("Kids" isn't good answer - such relationship and unhappy parents aren't better for them than the option.)

 

[silky52]

Going though similar, I have created a Thread for any UK Men and Women, hopefully a kind of support group.

What's the name of the thread?

 

[silky52]

I've been in a sexless marriage. I was 40 still quite hot. Just gotten married to my 2nd husband. Once we got home from the honeymoon sex ended. I only stayed in that marriage for 3 years. Its heart breaking to constantly be shut down when trying to get your husband in the mood. We went to counseling. All they said was he was too sick to work on our marriage and needed to work on his own issues first. I never found out what his issues were.
I've heard a lot of men say they are and my heart goes out to them. I think a lot with women has to do with the change of life. As well as issues because of things that have happened to them in their past they cant get past to have a healthy sex life.

Totally agree with you. The MeToo movement has not come from nothing. The statistics are that one in three women have been raped in their lives. However, it's much more like two in three! There are many women who will not talk about it, are still ashamed of something that they had absolutely no choice in. There are also women who were pregnant as a result of the rape. I am glad that the world is finally beginning to understand just a little of what women have been through, however it's not enough, and until that changes completely and men realise that women are not there just for their pleasure and domination these things will continue to happen. I think a lot of your wives guys have finally realised that they don't have to have sex! I know that's not fair to their husbands, but communication is definitely the key IMHO. So long as it's not spoken of, and dealt with then there will always be issues. Again simply MHO!

 

[Sparky74]

What's the name of the thread?

Thanks for asking, here is the name tried to copy the link but did not work sorry about that.

UK Sexless Marriges ( Advice and Support Group)

 

[Sparky74]

If anyone else is able to copy and paste the link that would be very much appreciated.

Thanks.

 

[Strixaluco]

If anyone else is able to copy and paste the link that would be very much appreciated.

Thanks.

Sigh. All you need to do is copy paste that name of the group in the search tool available close to the top right corner of the page. That isn't hard, go learn to do it.

 

[Sparky74]

Thanks for your kind words lol

 

[Sparky74]

Yay thicko me managed to do it.

UK Sexless Marriges ( Advice and Support Group)

 

[Sparky74]

Oh no well never mind.

I guess that was the whole point of me asking someone very kindly if they could do it.

 

[adamISOeve]

After reading the most absurd post here in a long time, I drafted the following personal ad in respone:

Seeking once again: a genuinely passionate woman
The exact opposite of those pseudo-women, who lament about being subject to “Me-Too-ing” everywhere. When a woman talks herself into “possessing” a precious cherry, which only the highest bidder may taste from, then she is no more than a cheap prostitute in my eyes; ready to sell off everything she has, but only to someone who bids highly for her. Ot far more than she is worth, actually.

I have conversed for a while with one such specimen, and I found her boring to the N-th power. Because a woman who only has herself on her mind, cannot possibly be anything other than boring. ….. A genuinely passionate woman – on the other hand – never presumes that her own cherry is anything special. Since her cherry is just a cherry, unless and until she “fills it” with her own inherent passion. And someone afflicted with #MeToo hysteria, will never be able to muster genuine passion; I am convinced of that

 

[Sparky74]

After reading the most absurd post here in a long time, I drafted the following personal ad in respone:

Seeking once again: a genuinely passionate woman
The exact opposite of those pseudo-women, who lament about being subject to “Me-Too-ing” everywhere. When a woman talks herself into “possessing” a precious cherry, which only the highest bidder may taste from, then she is no more than a cheap prostitute in my eyes; ready to sell off everything she has, but only to someone who bids highly for her. Ot far more than she is worth, actually.

I have conversed for a while with one such specimen, and I found her boring to the N-th power. Because a woman who only has herself on her mind, cannot possibly be anything other than boring. ….. A genuinely passionate woman – on the other hand – never presumes that her own cherry is anything special. Since her cherry is just a cherry, unless and until she “fills it” with her own inherent passion. And someone afflicted with #MeToo hysteria, will never be able to muster genuine passion; I am convinced of that

What the heck is that all about anyone got a clue?

 

[HampshireBoy]

Oh no well never mind.

I guess that was the whole point of me asking someone very kindly if they could do it.

It was easy to find via search

UK Sexless Marriges ( Advice and Support Group)

 

[Sparky74]

It was easy to find via search

UK Sexless Marriges ( Advice and Support Group)

Thank you for your assistance very much appreciated.

 

[Strixaluco]

And someone afflicted with #MeToo hysteria, will never be able to muster genuine passion

Is someone who labels #MeToo as hysteria only, able of genuine compassion?

Majority of women have been victims of sexual harassment. That's not dependent on how passionate one is. I'm passionate with my beloved, not with random men.

 

[adamISOeve]

What the heck is that all about anyone got a clue?

If you cannot find a link easily, then why would you ever understand satire?

 

[Sparky74]

If you cannot find a link easily, then why would you ever understand satire?

Probably because it wasn't.

 

[adamISOeve]

Is someone who labels #MeToo as hysteria only, able of genuine compassion?

Majority of women have been victims of sexual harassment. That's not dependent on how passionate one is. I'm passionate with my beloved, not with random men.

I make a huge distinction between getting molested without any welcome. And women who only dream this up. And worst of all: women who do not mind when it happens, and only next morning they suddenly "discover", it was rape, after all.
How in the world can you assume that a majority of women have been subject to harrassment? Because Oprah Winfrey said so?

 

[Strixaluco]

I make a huge distinction between getting molested without any welcome. And women who only dream this up. And worst of all: women who do not mind when it happens, and only next morning they suddenly "discover", it was rape, after all.
How in the world can you assume that a majority of women have been subject to harrassment? Because Oprah Winfrey said so?

I don't follow Oprah Winfrey at all. She's not that popular in my country.

There are actually research and statistics. In my country - where the situation is definitely not worse than yours, probably vise versa - about 10% get raped officially, but then you need to add those who were only tried to be raped, or who got raped but never dared to tell to the police, or didn't bother because they didn't believe it would help anything.
And then everything else that counts as harassment. About 2/3 of women have been harassed. I actually find it hard to believe it isn't higher than that as verbal harassment is so common, and especially in the past it has been outrageously common. I mean, girls barely got to high school without being harassed by both boys of the same age and middle-aged men. (Yes, those were worse than 20-30 year olds.)

 

[adamISOeve]

I wonder, Strixaluco, how you define harassment. Of girls on their way to school, for instance You live in Finland, do you not? And not in India.

And the crime of rape is a grave accusation of a civilized man. I am fairly sure you'd agree with me, that not a hundred percent of all such accusations hold water,

Look at Kevin Spacey getting acquitted, by TWO juries, or Jörg Kachelmann in my country. So there exists a fain amount of plain lies also, on the part of women in court.