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Sexless Marriages

Mixed signals

Ok, don't know if it's me or if wifey is giving mixed signals. I was caressing her breasts, and was circling her nipple when she slapped my hand away. I was rubbing her thigh and she opened her leg a bit. I went to rub inside her thigh some and she closed up and said stop.

Am I reading her signals wrong or what???
 
My sexless marriage story

I appreciate all the happiness for me & well wishes, life for me is changing in a very positive way finally... but we need to get back on topic for the newbies! 😁

I’ll start us back there....

Married coming up for 14 years, all was good the first 5 years but with time the sex faded. The last 7 years it’s been much less frequent, the last 4 it’s been a handful of times a year. But the last 18 months nothing and no indication that will change.

I seem to be expected to initiate and that’s so not me, because it leaves me feeling undesirable. I absolutely will initiate all the time if I feel desired but his lack has killed any desire I had left for him. I moved into the spare bedroom a year ago and we now live generally happily under one roof, but we each have our own bath and bedroom.

I don’t think he’s overly happy about that but he does nothing to fix it. Meantime I am just angry at him. I do love him, we get on well and we have a good life, but at 53 with the sex drive of an 18 yr old boy and I believe I’m desirable, I know I won’t live like this indefinitely.

Again there is a lot of anger that he has put us in this situation.

Before you say it can’t all be him. Not totally, but I keep myself ‘hot’, I appear to desirable to most men and I wander around here in hot underwear a lot! I’m slim, have amazing new boobs and I’m extremely sexual, plus I have a big heart and am loving and caring. Really not sure what more I can do honestly?!

We have done counseling for months until he stopped it, not me. We have tried testosterone shots until he stopped it which upset me, there is no physical issue stopping him and I’m certain there isn’t another woman. And actually I would not care if there was at this point, as I could push for an open marriage!

So this is where I find myself!

Lit keeps me sane, let’s me know I’m still sexy with my Am Pics thread and deals with my needs. I have had one serious relationship here for nearly a year which helped a lot, that has now ended. But now I have met another lovely man here in the same situation and we appear to be headed into a long term relationship, with plans to meet being thought out.

Subject to life's turns, I am now pretty sure I won’t be where I am now in 5 years. I can’t and won’t live the rest of my life like this, even though the thought of divorce fills me with dread!

That’s my story so far... now you other ‘sexless family members’ need to share pls and get us back on track :kiss:

This thread is our support group, I was the second person to comment way back and I consider it my Lit safe place & home. We share, we support, we care and we don’t use it as a pickup joint, at least not in the thread!


One other thing. I don’t do casual hookups at all, I am now in a very happy committed relationship, so I don’t want to be hit on please.
 
Last edited:
DDBustyBrit said:
I appreciate all the happiness for me & well wishes, life for me is changing in a very positive way finally... but we need to get back on topic for the newbies! 😁

I’ll start us back there....

Married coming up for 14 years, all was good the first 5 years but with time the sex faded. The last 7 years it’s been much less frequent, the last 4 it’s been a handful of times a year. But the last 18 months nothing and no indication that will change.

I seem to be expected to initiate and that’s so not me, because it leaves me feeling undesirable. I absolutely will initiate all the time if I feel desired but his lack has killed any desire I had left for him. I moved into the spare bedroom a year ago and we now live generally happily under one roof, but we each have our own bath and bedroom.

I don’t think he’s overly happy about that but he does nothing to fix it. Meantime I am just angry at him. I do love him, we get on well and we have a good life, but at 53 with the sex drive of an 18 yr old boy and I believe I’m desirable, I know I won’t live like this indefinitely.

Again there is a lot of anger that he has put us in this situation.

Before you say it can’t all be him. Not totally, but I keep myself ‘hot’, I appear to desirable to most men and I wander around here in hot underwear a lot! I’m slim, have amazing new boobs and I’m extremely sexual, plus I have a big heart and am loving and caring. Really not sure what more I can do honestly?!

We have done counseling for months until he stopped it, not me. We have tried testosterone shots until he stopped it which upset me, there is no physical issue stopping him and I’m certain there isn’t another woman. And actually I would not care if there was at this point, as I could push for an open marriage!

So this is where I find myself!

Lit keeps me sane, let’s me know I’m still sexy with my Am Pics thread and deals with my needs. I have had one serious relationship here for nearly a year which helped a lot, that has now ended. But now I have met another lovely man here in the same situation and we appear to be headed into a long term relationship, with plans to meet being thought out.

Subject to life's turns, I am now pretty sure I won’t be where I am now in 5 years. I can’t and won’t live the rest of my life like this, even though the thought of divorce fills me with dread!

That’s my story so far... now you other ‘sexless family members’ need to share pls and get us back on track :kiss:

This thread is out support group, I was the second person to comment way back and I consider it my Lit safe place & home. We share, we support, we care and we don’t use it as a pickup joint, at least not in the thread!


One other thing. I don’t do casual hookups at all, I am now in a very happy committed relationship, so I don’t want to be hit on please.
Click to expand...

Thanks for sharing. I think it is a common story as marriages progress. In my case, my spouse lost interest in sex long ago. That being said, we have a great marriage otherwise. So I come to Lit to explore. I miss sex....a lot. I do what I can and perhaps someday will find a RL outlet!
 
DDBustyBrit said:
I appreciate all the happiness for me & well wishes, life for me is changing in a very positive way finally... but we need to get back on topic for the newbies! 😁

I’ll start us back there....

Married coming up for 14 years, all was good the first 5 years but with time the sex faded. The last 7 years it’s been much less frequent, the last 4 it’s been a handful of times a year. But the last 18 months nothing and no indication that will change.

I seem to be expected to initiate and that’s so not me, because it leaves me feeling undesirable. I absolutely will initiate all the time if I feel desired but his lack has killed any desire I had left for him. I moved into the spare bedroom a year ago and we now live generally happily under one roof, but we each have our own bath and bedroom.

I don’t think he’s overly happy about that but he does nothing to fix it. Meantime I am just angry at him. I do love him, we get on well and we have a good life, but at 53 with the sex drive of an 18 yr old boy and I believe I’m desirable, I know I won’t live like this indefinitely.

Again there is a lot of anger that he has put us in this situation.

Before you say it can’t all be him. Not totally, but I keep myself ‘hot’, I appear to desirable to most men and I wander around here in hot underwear a lot! I’m slim, have amazing new boobs and I’m extremely sexual, plus I have a big heart and am loving and caring. Really not sure what more I can do honestly?!

We have done counseling for months until he stopped it, not me. We have tried testosterone shots until he stopped it which upset me, there is no physical issue stopping him and I’m certain there isn’t another woman. And actually I would not care if there was at this point, as I could push for an open marriage!

So this is where I find myself!

Lit keeps me sane, let’s me know I’m still sexy with my Am Pics thread and deals with my needs. I have had one serious relationship here for nearly a year which helped a lot, that has now ended. But now I have met another lovely man here in the same situation and we appear to be headed into a long term relationship, with plans to meet being thought out.

Subject to life's turns, I am now pretty sure I won’t be where I am now in 5 years. I can’t and won’t live the rest of my life like this, even though the thought of divorce fills me with dread!

That’s my story so far... now you other ‘sexless family members’ need to share pls and get us back on track :kiss:

This thread is out support group, I was the second person to comment way back and I consider it my Lit safe place & home. We share, we support, we care and we don’t use it as a pickup joint, at least not in the thread!


One other thing. I don’t do casual hookups at all, I am now in a very happy committed relationship, so I don’t want to be hit on please.
Click to expand...

May not hit on you, but still going to compliment you. Hope this relationship lasts a very long time. :rose:
 
My wife and I were married for 26 years, the first 16 were great, we had an awesome sex life and both of us enjoyed trying new things. We had sex almost everyday and sometimes multiple times in a day.Then my wife got sick. She was diagnosed with a debilitating illness and between the illness and the meds she not only lost all sexual desire but wouldn't let me even touch her. Since I had promised her when we got married I would not cheat on her, and had no intention of breaking that promise, for 10 years I only had sex with myself. It finally got to much for both of us and we divorced. I figured now I could find a woman that I could spoil sexually. Unfortunately I was 65 at the time and didn't have any luck with that. A friend told me about the local ABS arcade and said I could get a bj there but no guarantee it wouldn't be a guy. By this time I was so sick of pleasuring myself I decided to give it a try. I wasn't disappointed.
 
Almost

Wife had me look bump yesterday. She laid on the bed shaking her butt at me. After checking the to make sure it was nothing, I took bite of her butt. Best slap I've had in a while and almost got back in her panties. Lol
 
ccs29745 said:
Wife had me look bump yesterday. She laid on the bed shaking her butt at me. After checking the to make sure it was nothing, I took bite of her butt. Best slap I've had in a while and almost got back in her panties. Lol
Click to expand...

😂 you go boy, represent for the rest of us! 🙌🏻
 
ccs29745 said:
Wife had me look bump yesterday. She laid on the bed shaking her butt at me. After checking the to make sure it was nothing, I took bite of her butt. Best slap I've had in a while and almost got back in her panties. Lol
Click to expand...

More action than I've seen in a while! At least she was shaking her butt st you'
 
We are going on a mini-vacation soon and I was told I can pick out something sexy for her to wear. I still strongly encourage communication. My quality of life now that we understand our feelings has improved so much!!
 
NotASavior said:
We are going on a mini-vacation soon and I was told I can pick out something sexy for her to wear. I still strongly encourage communication. My quality of life now that we understand our feelings has improved so much!!
Click to expand...

Congrats savior, hope y'all have a great vacation.
 
What should a girl do?

Sorry this is a long post. Had a long marriage, in which I was constantly criticized and told I must not be into sex and didn't want sex (LIES). Tried everything - lost the weight I gained after marrying, bought lingerie, bought a couple of porn movies, threw myself at him numerous times, NADA. (I think he had E.D. but didn't want to admit it, or he just couldn't stand having sex with me and didn't want to admit that)

Wound up on-line and bumped into old flame. Allowed myself to chat, text, and then talk on phone. BIG MISTAKE! Stirred up old embers. What can I say, we had an amazing sex life before, and I never got over him. His marriage had no sex, mine had no sex. It was like pouring gas on a fire. Thankfully, he lived 900 miles away.

Hubs found out, we went to counseling - three of them in six months because he didn't like any of them. My ultimatum was for change to make things better (for both of us). He couldn't wrap his head around that. We separated, eventually divorced.

Started dating awhile later. After a few "well that didn't work", I found someone I thought I could live with the rest of my life. We've been "his girl/her guy" for 5 years in November. He had prostrate biopsy in July. All good YAY! Been feeing neglected, and found out last night, he doesn't have the sex drive he had before. He would rather spend Saturday night with his old high school buddies getting drunk than with me making love. (in all fairness, he didn't know that was an option prior)

Right now, I feel like I've been punched in the gut. A wicked joke or something.
Sorry for the gloom, I am still trying to sort this out.

All I can think of is DAMN is this karma or what? What did I ever do to anyone? (I know selfish, but CRAP) (you can add foul-mouthed wench next to slut/whore if you are into labels - I prefer human trying to make it to the other side without life passing her by)

So for a gal to try to get satisfaction is not easy either. Plus in society, we get shamed for it more. (How many times have you as a man labeled a woman, even if you took her pleasures? You'd rather marry that other girl, not the one you had the amazing sex life with in college. Dude, you messed up!)
 
LivingLaVitaLoco said:
Sorry this is a long post. Had a long marriage, in which I was constantly criticized and told I must not be into sex and didn't want sex (LIES). Tried everything - lost the weight I gained after marrying, bought lingerie, bought a couple of porn movies, threw myself at him numerous times, NADA. (I think he had E.D. but didn't want to admit it, or he just couldn't stand having sex with me and didn't want to admit that)

Wound up on-line and bumped into old flame. Allowed myself to chat, text, and then talk on phone. BIG MISTAKE! Stirred up old embers. What can I say, we had an amazing sex life before, and I never got over him. His marriage had no sex, mine had no sex. It was like pouring gas on a fire. Thankfully, he lived 900 miles away.

Hubs found out, we went to counseling - three of them in six months because he didn't like any of them. My ultimatum was for change to make things better (for both of us). He couldn't wrap his head around that. We separated, eventually divorced.

Started dating awhile later. After a few "well that didn't work", I found someone I thought I could live with the rest of my life. We've been "his girl/her guy" for 5 years in November. He had prostrate biopsy in July. All good YAY! Been feeing neglected, and found out last night, he doesn't have the sex drive he had before. He would rather spend Saturday night with his old high school buddies getting drunk than with me making love. (in all fairness, he didn't know that was an option prior)

Right now, I feel like I've been punched in the gut. A wicked joke or something.
Sorry for the gloom, I am still trying to sort this out.

All I can think of is DAMN is this karma or what? What did I ever do to anyone? (I know selfish, but CRAP) (you can add foul-mouthed wench next to slut/whore if you are into labels - I prefer human trying to make it to the other side without life passing her by)

So for a gal to try to get satisfaction is not easy either. Plus in society, we get shamed for it more. (How many times have you as a man labeled a woman, even if you took her pleasures? You'd rather marry that other girl, not the one you had the amazing sex life with in college. Dude, you messed up!)
Click to expand...

Sorry to hear you having tough time, but you're in the right place to vent and for support. Most times we don't do anything to deserve how things end up, but stay strong kiddo, things will improve I hope.
 
LivingLaVitaLoco said:
Sorry this is a long post. Had a long marriage, in which I was constantly criticized and told I must not be into sex and didn't want sex (LIES). Tried everything - lost the weight I gained after marrying, bought lingerie, bought a couple of porn movies, threw myself at him numerous times, NADA. (I think he had E.D. but didn't want to admit it, or he just couldn't stand having sex with me and didn't want to admit that)

Wound up on-line and bumped into old flame. Allowed myself to chat, text, and then talk on phone. BIG MISTAKE! Stirred up old embers. What can I say, we had an amazing sex life before, and I never got over him. His marriage had no sex, mine had no sex. It was like pouring gas on a fire. Thankfully, he lived 900 miles away.

Hubs found out, we went to counseling - three of them in six months because he didn't like any of them. My ultimatum was for change to make things better (for both of us). He couldn't wrap his head around that. We separated, eventually divorced.

Started dating awhile later. After a few "well that didn't work", I found someone I thought I could live with the rest of my life. We've been "his girl/her guy" for 5 years in November. He had prostrate biopsy in July. All good YAY! Been feeing neglected, and found out last night, he doesn't have the sex drive he had before. He would rather spend Saturday night with his old high school buddies getting drunk than with me making love. (in all fairness, he didn't know that was an option prior)

Right now, I feel like I've been punched in the gut. A wicked joke or something.
Sorry for the gloom, I am still trying to sort this out.

All I can think of is DAMN is this karma or what? What did I ever do to anyone? (I know selfish, but CRAP) (you can add foul-mouthed wench next to slut/whore if you are into labels - I prefer human trying to make it to the other side without life passing her by)

So for a gal to try to get satisfaction is not easy either. Plus in society, we get shamed for it more. (How many times have you as a man labeled a woman, even if you took her pleasures? You'd rather marry that other girl, not the one you had the amazing sex life with in college. Dude, you messed up!)
Click to expand...

I can sympathize with your situation entirely. Certainly, people's level of desire changes over their lifetime and there is no way to know how that will happen for a partner or spouse over time. Socially, stepping outside of a relationship is frowned on generally, but shouldn't be provided you've tried to mend the relationship.

In hindsight, I have regrets about letting some former lovers go rather than
marrying, but hindsight is 20/20, and there are no guarantees for the future.
 
TTawhere said:
I can sympathize with your situation entirely. Certainly, people's level of desire changes over their lifetime and there is no way to know how that will happen for a partner or spouse over time. Socially, stepping outside of a relationship is frowned on generally, but shouldn't be provided you've tried to mend the relationship.

In hindsight, I have regrets about letting some former lovers go rather than
marrying, but hindsight is 20/20, and there are no guarantees for the future.
Click to expand...

This is almost word for word what I would have said to the OP. If only we had the wisdom we have in our fifties in our twenties, but that’s life!
 
Alexa

It's bad when I ask Alexa how are my chances with her tonight and she replies slim to none. :(
 
Vacation

Heading to first vacation in a year, will try to keep up. Hope everyone has a great week. If I get lucky some how, that mean I have to move out of the thread? Lol
 
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