Sexless Marriages

[TTawhere]

An open marriage can be a great solution to a sexless marriage. One or both spouses are free to satisfy their sexual needs with whoever they want and it is an OK activity that you and your spouse have agreed upon.

Sadly, not an option for all.

 

[spawnofdavey]

Sadly, not an option for all.

No, not everyone is fortunate enough to have that outlet.

 

[NotASavior]

I have mentioned that to my spouse and they felt it wasn’t necessarily her wanting someone else she just has zero drive currently.

Its not like lust or sex equals love. We have been best friends more than lovers. It makes me feel guilty sometimes but she said you are looking for a little fun not a new wife. I honestly wish she would figure out how to get back in control of her hormones because I want her but it is what it is.

 

[Spenser41]

I am so sorry for all that have gone without. It has been 10 years for me. It's to the point where I do not remember what having sex feels like any more. I wish I could just walk away and start over but at 64 that is difficult. And starting all over again with trying to make ends meet and a place to live and all the stuff that goes with it is more money than I can afford on my own. I guess I am just resigning myself that sex is a thing of the past and I just will never get to experience it again.

I hope some of you end is near for you. For those of you who are in the same boat I am in ... I feel your pain and wish you all the best.

 

[Mtnmike]

I am so sorry for all that have gone without. It has been 10 years for me. It's to the point where I do not remember what having sex feels like any more. I wish I could just walk away and start over but at 64 that is difficult. And starting all over again with trying to make ends meet and a place to live and all the stuff that goes with it is more money than I can afford on my own. I guess I am just resigning myself that sex is a thing of the past and I just will never get to experience it again.

I hope some of you end is near for you. For those of you who are in the same boat I am in ... I feel your pain and wish you all the best.

Thanks Spencer, in the same boat as you. Your kind words back at ya.

 

[Polranny]

I am so sorry for all that have gone without. It has been 10 years for me. It's to the point where I do not remember what having sex feels like any more. I wish I could just walk away and start over but at 64 that is difficult. And starting all over again with trying to make ends meet and a place to live and all the stuff that goes with it is more money than I can afford on my own. I guess I am just resigning myself that sex is a thing of the past and I just will never get to experience it again.

I hope some of you end is near for you. For those of you who are in the same boat I am in ... I feel your pain and wish you all the best.

Identical boat excepting that I'm older and it's been at least 12 years. Thank God for Lit

 

[jj_hotchoc]

Here goes...

Hi, this feels so strange. I am in a relationship where all the intamicy and sex has stopped completely and I have no idea where it has gone. Fallen into a cycle of trying to do nice things, be supportive, but my wife will pick a fight, start an argument, and voila, sex is off the menu again. I do love her but I need an external source of excitement and wanted opinions/advice from here? I have not told anyone else at all so feels weird to tell the whole internet but this seems the place if any!?
Thanks,
Julian

 

[sinfulpleasure67]

Hi, this feels so strange. I am in a relationship where all the intamicy and sex has stopped completely and I have no idea where it has gone. Fallen into a cycle of trying to do nice things, be supportive, but my wife will pick a fight, start an argument, and voila, sex is off the menu again. I do love her but I need an external source of excitement and wanted opinions/advice from here? I have not told anyone else at all so feels weird to tell the whole internet but this seems the place if any!?
Thanks,
Julian

Holy shit! You’re living my life....

 

[DDBustyBrit]

I know I don’t know you or your situation but from the posts of yours that I have read you seem to be a very confidant, ambitious and sexy woman! Your posts are inspiring in that they give hope and bring smiles to all of our faces.

I’m sorry that you are having a bit of a rough go right now, and even though we don’t know eachother know that my thoughts are with you. When going through these times it’s hard to see that the pain is temporary and there is a whole wonderful world still out there waiting to be blessed by your presence!

I hope your evening offers you time to process, it’s unfortunately the only way to really be able to start building your happiness again.

And I second the frog comment from CCS29745 ;-)

I really appreciate your thoughts, it appeared I was doing better and then an emotional truck ran me over today and I’m very broken. I know time heals but I’m not getting over this one, he’s always going to be with me

 

[ccs29745]

I really appreciate your thoughts, it appeared I was doing better and then an emotional truck ran me over today and I’m very broken. I know time heals but I’m not getting over this one, he’s always going to be with me

Sounds like me and my first girlfriend. Loved her to death, but we ended up breaking up and tore me in two for months.

Time does heal, just not as fast as we would like.

 

[TTawhere]

Sounds like me and my first girlfriend. Loved her to death, but we ended up breaking up and tore me in two for months.

Time does heal, just not as fast as we would like.

^^^^
This. There is no substitute for time.

 

[philos]

A little rant
My wedding anniversary today. The ABC days are the worst for me(anniversaries, birthdays and Christmas). For some stupid reason I get my hopes up. After 20 years I really should know better. If we didn’t have sex on our wedding night why would an anniversary be any different? I feel like I’ve become such a bitter person as a result of years of rejection. I hate this shit and just wish it didn’t bother me anymore.

 

[LuciousLadyMary]

A little rant
My wedding anniversary today. The ABC days are the worst for me(anniversaries, birthdays and Christmas). For some stupid reason I get my hopes up. After 20 years I really should know better. If we didn’t have sex on our wedding night why would an anniversary be any different? I feel like I’ve become such a bitter person as a result of years of rejection. I hate this shit and just wish it didn’t bother me anymore.

No sex on your wedding night and you're still there 20 years later? Just how big is her trust fund?

 

[philos]

No sex on your wedding night and you're still there 20 years later? Just how big is her trust fund?

Lol, I wish

 

[Rt127]

Today is my 24th wedding anniversary! Nothing was said this morning between each other.

 

[LuciousLadyMary]

Today is my 24th wedding anniversary! Nothing was said this morning between each other.

You do realize it takes 2 to have a conversation... right?

 

[philos]

I think we both need a drink.

 

[Rt127]

You do realize it takes 2 to have a conversation... right?

Yes! Actually I forgot until an hour into work, so I guess I am a dick!!

 

[LuciousLadyMary]

I think we both need a drink.

Maybe that's part of the problem.

I think what 95% of the ones in this thread needs to do is talk. Nothing is ever going to get solved not communicating.

 

[TTawhere]

Maybe that's part of the problem.

I think what 95% of the ones in this thread needs to do is talk. Nothing is ever going to get solved not communicating.

I think you are correct about many here. The ones who complain about infrequent sex in particular, I think. People drift in relationships and it does take work to maintain a relationship. No open communication? Not relationship. The best relationships that I see make it seem effortless, but it is not.

For the rest of us, there are other problems.

 

[LuciousLadyMary]

I think you are correct about many here. The ones who complain about infrequent sex in particular, I think. People drift in relationships and it does take work to maintain a relationship. No open communication? Not relationship. The best relationships that I see make it seem effortless, but it is not.

For the rest of us, there are other problems.

Well, having gone without 12 years in my marriage and knowing how we got into it and MORE importantly knowing how we came out of it, I speak from experience.

I've started this paragraph three times and deleted it each time. So I'll leave it at this. I get probably a dozen replies a week to our personal ad from married men in a "sexless marriage." This is my standard reply to each one:

I was in your shoes for a very long time. I know our solution to the problem won't work for everyone. But I do know this, instead of coming online and attempting to fuck someone else's wife, why not turn off the computer and figure out some way to make it work with yours. You know her, she knows you. Be a man, be inventive... win her back.

And with that, I'll say good luck to all of you. There is no one answer. But each of you should work harder on finding yours.

 

[philos]

Maybe that's part of the problem.

I think what 95% of the ones in this thread needs to do is talk. Nothing is ever going to get solved not communicating.

What makes you think we haven’t? My SO and I have done years of therapy. Individual, couples, family, etc. we’ve overcome many issues but sex isn’t one of them. It wasn’t until long into my marriage I discovered she was asexual. No libido. Already committed with child. I wasn’t looking for a hookup I just wanted to vent frustration.

 

[Spenser41]

I love how some who are not in the same boat as we are, come in here and say "you need to talk to them." Like we have never done that before. Talking, counseling, both personal and as a couple. You name it... I've tried it and I am sure others have to. And not all are looking to hook up. Funny.. .a woman can complain about being in a sexless marriage and get support from others. Guys say it and we get... act like a man.. do something about it... you just want to pick up a woman. Typical response most guys get.

 

[Beachaged]

Well, having gone without 12 years in my marriage and knowing how we got into it and MORE importantly knowing how we came out of it, I speak from experience.

I've started this paragraph three times and deleted it each time. So I'll leave it at this. I get probably a dozen replies a week to our personal ad from married men in a "sexless marriage." This is my standard reply to each one:

I was in your shoes for a very long time. I know our solution to the problem won't work for everyone. But I do know this, instead of coming online and attempting to fuck someone else's wife, why not turn off the computer and figure out some way to make it work with yours. You know her, she knows you. Be a man, be inventive... win her back.

And with that, I'll say good luck to all of you. There is no one answer. But each of you should work harder on finding yours.

I don’t think it is fair to make generalizations about people in this thread. It certainly isn’t helpful. My issues at home have nothing to do with communication. My wife and I talk often about everything. She has a medical issue which is getting in the way of sex. I will leave it at that. I don’t contribute to this thread to pickup women nor have I tried. I cone to this thread to hear from others in the same boat.

 

[DDBustyBrit]

Well, having gone without 12 years in my marriage and knowing how we got into it and MORE importantly knowing how we came out of it, I speak from experience.

And with that, I'll say good luck to all of you. There is no one answer. But each of you should work harder on finding yours.

Like the others above me I also take exception to this advice!

I have talked until I’m blue in the face, done months of counseling until he was done (not me), initiated, consistently walked around naked or in sexy underwear, got him on testosterone shots and nada.

So thanks for telling me I need to work harder