Ratchetman1982
Checking for leaks
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2017
- Posts
- 2,658
I'm curious when we finally give up on our spouse, what that looks like
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I have given up on ever having another sexual encounter with my gf a long time ago.I'm curious when we finally give up on our spouse, what that looks like
Holy fuckPhoenix in the Ashes
There was a time I believed I was ugly.
Not because of my face or body -
but because of the way his eyes refused to linger. Because night after night,
I lay beside him like a ghost no one touched. Because silence in the bed became silence in my soul.
A sexless marriage can do that. It teaches you to disappear. It feeds you lies: You are unwanted. You are not enough. You are nothing.
And I believed them.
I carried those words like chains.
I bowed my head in the mirror,
and all I saw was rejection staring back at me.
Not a woman. Not a flame.
Just ugly.
But embers never die so easily.
Beneath the weight of silence, beneath the years of being unseen, a spark still throbbed. Small. Dangerous. Patient.
And one day, I remembered:
My dignity was never his to grant.
My beauty was never his to erase.
My fire was never his to extinguish.
It was mine.
Always mine.
That was the moment the chains cracked.
The moment the ashes shifted.
The moment the wings unfurled.
I rose.
Not quietly. Not gently.
But feral, flaming, furious.
Every “ugly” I had swallowed
turned to kindling in my throat.
Every rejection became fuel.
Every cold night became heat.
I am not his discarded body.
I am not his silence.
I am not his blindness.
I am the Phoenix -
beautiful in flame,
terrible in rebirth,
too bright to ignore,
too wild to cage.
He can look away.
He can sleep in his cold bed.
He can turn his back on the fire.
But I am burning.
I am alive.
I am magnificent.
And I will rise again and again,
from every ash,
from every silence,
from every place where I was told I was nothing.
Ugly? No.
Never again.
I am flame,
and flame does not ask for permission to shine.
You become room matesI'm curious when we finally give up on our spouse, what that looks like
I'm so glad for you that your life is better now, you obviously faced challenges after that hard decision and now you've got a clean slate to build new adventures. You're never too old for someone to make you feel sexy again and have those mind blowing horny experiences.Well my marriage finally fell apart a couple years ago. He had gotten a prescription for Cialis and when he took it our sex life was great again. Then he’d stop and every time we TRIED to have sex I’d end up in the bathroom crying. I stopped looking for affection and sex. He ended up texting me one day to say it was over.
Sadly my sex life hasn’t taken off. Dating after being married 23 years is scary and then menopause hit and really screwed with my body/hormones. I miss the old me that always felt sexy and horny.
So all that said I’m glad the marriage is over. There was so much more wrong with it than just sex. I hope to once again have a great sex life and I don’t think I’m too old for that, I just gotta find the right guy.
If you’re that miserable in your marriage it’s probably time for a really difficult talk. While I hate the way my ex ended things I’m glad he did. Life is much better these days.
You go girl! There are plenty of guys out there looking for someone like you - and if you can't find one, give me a call, I'll move to Alaska just for youWell my marriage finally fell apart a couple years ago. He had gotten a prescription for Cialis and when he took it our sex life was great again. Then he’d stop and every time we TRIED to have sex I’d end up in the bathroom crying. I stopped looking for affection and sex. He ended up texting me one day to say it was over.
Sadly my sex life hasn’t taken off. Dating after being married 23 years is scary and then menopause hit and really screwed with my body/hormones. I miss the old me that always felt sexy and horny.
So all that said I’m glad the marriage is over. There was so much more wrong with it than just sex. I hope to once again have a great sex life and I don’t think I’m too old for that, I just gotta find the right guy.
If you’re that miserable in your marriage it’s probably time for a really difficult talk. While I hate the way my ex ended things I’m glad he did. Life is much better these days.
ETA I’m not saying everyone should get divorced and honestly I begged my ex to go to counseling and give our marriage another chance. Just saying if divorce is the answer life does go on.
Same girl. Shit is wild in the worst way.Never totally sexless, but very much one-sided in desire and drive. Peri-menopause has given me the surge.... And a husband with ED. life's a fucking joke.
I would advise - Before the talk, be ready.The talk is coming. I can't live with this hollowness
For me, part of the answer to that was when I told her I was going to stop being sexual with her at all. Like, not even when she was willing to “do something for me.” Because, she wasn’t into it and didn’t want it for herself. Her willingness was only about trying to get me off every once in a great while for my sake.I'm curious when we finally give up on our spouse, what that looks like
Plenty of people in the same or very similar situation. Definitely not alone and Lit family to support and assistWow, I can’t believe I found this thread and so many people just like me! 45 with a crazy sex drive and a husband that isn’t interested in me at all. I just want to be needed and craved by someone. I’ve had so many conversations with him about it and he is not interested in me at all. I’ve gained some weight recently due to some health issues and I feel like he doesn’t find me attractive. We are roommates, living under the same roof and not having a real relationship. 21 years of marriage so it’s hard to walk away.