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Sexless Marriages

The irony is that although my marriage is and will probably always be sexless I have made so many friends through this thread I don't complain nearly as much
 
ccs29745 said:
Everyone fall out of here or am I only one still sexless. Hope everybody is ok.
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top of the morning! always lurking on the edges, a fine dance between frustration and fantasy. Wish I had more time to write more erotic stories - I found it to be a particularly cathartic exercise. My imagination seems to go into overdrive when I am most frustrated...
 
Lost_Yonder said:
top of the morning! always lurking on the edges, a fine dance between frustration and fantasy. Wish I had more time to write more erotic stories - I found it to be a particularly cathartic exercise. My imagination seems to go into overdrive when I am most frustrated...
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I'm with you on that. 100%.
 
ccs29745 said:
Everyone fall out of here or am I only one still sexless. Hope everybody is ok.
Click to expand...

Just quiet, CCS. Not always such a bad thing.

I'll agree with what has been said above, friendships do help and keeping your mind off of things.
 
Even if my wife ever does want some,I am so far out of practice, not sure I could even get started before it was over....
 
Throw my hat in here/ I am now widowed, so the sexless, simply because she wasn't able and for the last 5 years I became happy with other options. I am now just lurking should some want to write or pm
 
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IASFPWTF said:
Even if my wife ever does want some,I am so far out of practice, not sure I could even get started before it was over....
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Lmao, I hear ya :D. People keep telling me it's just like riding a bicycle but been so many years now I'm not sure I'd know where to start, lol.:(
I'm a Born Again Virgin. :D:D
 
TTawhere said:
Just quiet, CCS. Not always such a bad thing.

I'll agree with what has been said above, friendships do help and keeping your mind off of things.
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Yea, I know about quiet. Get questioned everytime I sit in a darkened area at work and want to be alone.
 
Lost_Yonder said:
top of the morning! always lurking on the edges, a fine dance between frustration and fantasy. Wish I had more time to write more erotic stories - I found it to be a particularly cathartic exercise. My imagination seems to go into overdrive when I am most frustrated...
Click to expand...

Amazing how best we work when frustrated.
 
Mtnmike said:
Lmao, I hear ya :D. People keep telling me it's just like riding a bicycle but been so many years now I'm not sure I'd know where to start, lol.:(
I'm a Born Again Virgin. :D:D
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I seem to be heading in that direction! :( literally just passed the 2 year anniversary of the last time I had sex... :eek:
 
Been a couple of years myself. In a loving marriage with a spouse with serious health issues. Mentioned it with my primary the other day when getting a physical and she asked if I thought about an open marriage. To be honest, it hadn't occurred to me. Although we did some exhibitionist swinging in the beginning, we never were with other partners. I really don't think she would be for it, and to be honest, I'm not sure I could separate the sex from the intimacy.

My question: What do you all think of an open marriage? I'm assuming that there might not be many in this group, since it is about sexless marriages, but I thought I would ask. Most would be swingers I would assume, but what about a spouse who can't really participate? Thanks.
 
Rumi2018 said:
Been a couple of years myself. In a loving marriage with a spouse with serious health issues. Mentioned it with my primary the other day when getting a physical and she asked if I thought about an open marriage. To be honest, it hadn't occurred to me. Although we did some exhibitionist swinging in the beginning, we never were with other partners. I really don't think she would be for it, and to be honest, I'm not sure I could separate the sex from the intimacy.

My question: What do you all think of an open marriage? I'm assuming that there might not be many in this group, since it is about sexless marriages, but I thought I would ask. Most would be swingers I would assume, but what about a spouse who can't really participate? Thanks.
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I have had the joy of being with several different married couples over the years, several for ongoing relationships. The one thing that I found common in the ones that were healthy was open communication, the realization that ultimately their experiences were about their relationship and not one or the other of them, and a very clear understanding that either of them could stop what was happening at any time if they felt uncomfortable with what was going on not matter at what stage it was.

From talking with those I had ongoing relationships with, one being quite close friends who invited me over to even meet their children, one of the biggest challenges is finding the right partner(s). Those I were with all were into having another guy join them and complained extensively how hard it was finding an honest guy, willing to follow their rules, and who was not overly aggressive, etc. For you, it will be different. The big question you have to ask - will your wife be involved at all, watching or hearing about your experiences when you return home? Will you really be able to find a woman who is aware of your situation and open to such a relationship that you are attracted to, but not too attracted to? Will your wife be honest in accepting it if you do move forward, knowing it is something that you might want/need?

I think it can be a wonderful arrangement, but without open and honest communication it can easily slip away from you both...
 
Finding a situation that met all this criteria would be super tough...
 
Made it through another birthday this week. The rejection always seems worse on holidays.
 
Lost_Yonder said:
I have had the joy of being with several different married couples over the years, several for ongoing relationships. The one thing that I found common in the ones that were healthy was open communication, the realization that ultimately their experiences were about their relationship and not one or the other of them, and a very clear understanding that either of them could stop what was happening at any time if they felt uncomfortable with what was going on not matter at what stage it was.

From talking with those I had ongoing relationships with, one being quite close friends who invited me over to even meet their children, one of the biggest challenges is finding the right partner(s). Those I were with all were into having another guy join them and complained extensively how hard it was finding an honest guy, willing to follow their rules, and who was not overly aggressive, etc. For you, it will be different. The big question you have to ask - will your wife be involved at all, watching or hearing about your experiences when you return home? Will you really be able to find a woman who is aware of your situation and open to such a relationship that you are attracted to, but not too attracted to? Will your wife be honest in accepting it if you do move forward, knowing it is something that you might want/need?

I think it can be a wonderful arrangement, but without open and honest communication it can easily slip away from you both...
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Wish I could hook up with a nice couple
 
Lost_Yonder said:
I have had the joy of being with several different married couples over the years, several for ongoing relationships. The one thing that I found common in the ones that were healthy was open communication, the realization that ultimately their experiences were about their relationship and not one or the other of them, and a very clear understanding that either of them could stop what was happening at any time if they felt uncomfortable with what was going on not matter at what stage it was.

From talking with those I had ongoing relationships with, one being quite close friends who invited me over to even meet their children, one of the biggest challenges is finding the right partner(s). Those I were with all were into having another guy join them and complained extensively how hard it was finding an honest guy, willing to follow their rules, and who was not overly aggressive, etc. For you, it will be different. The big question you have to ask - will your wife be involved at all, watching or hearing about your experiences when you return home? Will you really be able to find a woman who is aware of your situation and open to such a relationship that you are attracted to, but not too attracted to? Will your wife be honest in accepting it if you do move forward, knowing it is something that you might want/need?

I think it can be a wonderful arrangement, but without open and honest communication it can easily slip away from you both...
Click to expand...

Thank you for that response. We dance around the issue (of not having sex.l, of wanting sex) but don’t talk about it openly. I’m working on changing that.
 
Rumi2018 said:
Thank you for that response. We dance around the issue (of not having sex.l, of wanting sex) but don’t talk about it openly. I’m working on changing that.
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One of the patterns it seems in many of our sexless marriages is the breakdown in communication! When those of us wanting a change try to broach the subject of sex, it generally gets shutdown, no discussion. Trying to ease into the topic, making it something you can discuss, even if you don't find an immediate solution, is worth the effort.

Good luck on make some changes!
 
Mtnmike said:
Lmao, I hear ya :D. People keep telling me it's just like riding a bicycle but been so many years now I'm not sure I'd know where to start, lol.:(
I'm a Born Again Virgin. :D:D
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rather ride a motorcycle anyway
 
i miss the days where it seemed no matter what was going on around us, we just longed for each other.

I keep hoping someday it will come back. But more and more I am not hopeful.

Even if it is just an online romance, I wish I could find someone who longed for me as I them.
 
Stilllearning2b said:
i miss the days where it seemed no matter what was going on around us, we just longed for each other.

I keep hoping someday it will come back. But more and more I am not hopeful.

Even if it is just an online romance, I wish I could find someone who longed for me as I them.
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I wish you luck. There is always hope. Don't give up - work on those things about you that will make you a better person and people will notice.
 
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