Sex with friends?

[Funnbrandy]

So first of all no! I am not talking about friends with benefits where there is an ongoing sexual relationship that almost always ends with one person or the other developing an emotional connection, i get that and have been there.

What im curious about after a recent discussion is why do you think you could or couldn't simply have sex with or be sexual with a friend once and not have it become weird?

I understand that sex inherently creates intimate feelings whether you want it to or not, but why do you think this one time type thing could or couldn't work.

I've done it in the past with mixed success, but ive also always been good at separating sex and emotions.....but maybe because not everyone is?

Curious about the topic......

 

[99Freedom]

Seems like one person always wants it to become a regular thing.

 

[SevMax2]

Hasn't happened yet, but I would be open to trying it. Even if risked the friendship. I think that I want to know what kind of person I am about that, and the only way to find out is by doing it. A sort of experiment, if you will. Such a learning experience is worth the risk, right?

Besides, at least according to Bertrand Russell, you can't really know someone until you've slept with them.

 

[Sigmund7]

Years ago my wife and I had a mutual friend with whom we shared a couple of threesomes. Both involved a weekend visit and we had a serious discussion the morning after as to our feelings about the activity. We agreed there was no problem, continued he fun that night and on a subsequent visit. Then we sort of lost touch with the friend.

I think what made it work was that there was distance involved and it could never have been more than an occasional thing even it it had kept going for longer.

 

[DennisB]

How do you separate the sex from the emotion? Not talking "in love" but some sort of emotional connection. Fondness...attraction...closeness...caring...something. but no emotion?? So just like taking out the garbage or unclogging the kitchen sink? I could not be like that. Not saying anything negative if one can do that but I could not.

 

[hogjack]

Yes. Can be awkward. Sometimes it is inevitable.

Friendships will last longer than sexual partners, that's for sure

 

[Hipshot1554]

If it's really good sex, how would you not think about more?

 

[Funnbrandy]

How do you separate the sex from the emotion? Not talking "in love" but some sort of emotional connection. Fondness...attraction...closeness...caring...something. but no emotion?? So just like taking out the garbage or unclogging the kitchen sink? I could not be like that. Not saying anything negative if one can do that but I could not.

Well if its a friend then there's already an aspect of caring, fondness, love or whatever.....so no im not talking about taking out the garbage or unclogging the sink, lol.

 

[Funnbrandy]

If it's really good sex, how would you not think about more?

Very true!

 

[bareman]

I'm a male and have hooked up with a good (female) friend a couple of times and it hasn't been detrimental to our friendship at all. Her husband (who can't take care of her needs due to his own health issues) knows and is fine with it. He and I are also good friends and have done several projects together. He and I have never talked about it directly, but the friendship is good and is comfortable. He also knows I am a nudist and that his wife has been to visit me when I'm nude. I honestly don't know if he gets a sexual thrill out of the situation or not. It's been quite some time since she and I have gotten together and I've been considering trying to rekindle things with her.

 

[DennisB]

Well if its a friend then there's already an aspect of caring, fondness, love or whatever.....so no im not talking about taking out the garbage or unclogging the sink, lol.

What I meant was emotionless sex. And of course you would want more sex after the initial. Unless the sex sucked? So more sex means more connection whcih brings more emotional attachment. Now, the relationship has changed forever and cannot go backwards. It is risky to say the least. However it could blossom to love? Does one take the chance??? AND if one can remain..."emotionless" but the other cannot, now it might be hurtful to the other. "I am developing feelings about you but you feel nothing???

I guess it would work if there is some sort of special relationship whereas they have discussed sex or caught glimpses of each other naked or something like that and mutual masturbation comes into play??? I dont know??

 

[Funnbrandy]

What I meant was emotionless sex. And of course you would want more sex after the initial. Unless the sex sucked? So more sex means more connection whcih brings more emotional attachment. Now, the relationship has changed forever and cannot go backwards. It is risky to say the least. However it could blossom to love? Does one take the chance??? AND if one can remain..."emotionless" but the other cannot, now it might be hurtful to the other. "I am developing feelings about you but you feel nothing???

I guess it would work if there is some sort of special relationship whereas they have discussed sex or caught glimpses of each other naked or something like that and mutual masturbation comes into play??? I dont know??

Lol....I dont know either, but sex definitely builds a bond thats hard to reverse!

 

[carln3346]

What I meant was emotionless sex. And of course you would want more sex after the initial. Unless the sex sucked? So more sex means more connection whcih brings more emotional attachment. Now, the relationship has changed forever and cannot go backwards. It is risky to say the least. However it could blossom to love? Does one take the chance??? AND if one can remain..."emotionless" but the other cannot, now it might be hurtful to the other. "I am developing feelings about you but you feel nothing???

I guess it would work if there is some sort of special relationship whereas they have discussed sex or caught glimpses of each other naked or something like that and mutual masturbation comes into play??? I dont know??

I agree - it would be difficult to keep emotion out of it. But if possible, it an only be a good thing.

 

[Funnbrandy]

I agree - it would be difficult to keep emotion out of it. But if possible, it an only be a good thing.

How convenient would that be!....."God I'm so horny today".... "oh really!....well let me help you with that the"
Lol

 

[DennisB]

I agree - it would be difficult to keep emotion out of it. But if possible, it an only be a good thing.

Sex with my female friend?? Sex with my wife's bff?? No. Cant do it. I have walked in and caught them changing. Been on vacation and we have walked in on each other. Sex??? Sex with her? The same her that pisses me off and corrects and aggravates me? The same her that acts like my second wife? It would be emotionless, lol!!!! Just cant do it. Lol

 

[DennisB]

Dont get me wrong, I love them to death and their husbands but sex??? Has my wife passed away and has her husband passed away? And we just watched a porno together? Ok...maybe. lol!!!

 

[DennisB]

How convenient would that be!....."God I'm so horny today".... "oh really!....well let me help you with that the"
Lol

"Hey Sue I thought I would see if you wanted to meet for lunch, I am off today. Oh by the way, can you jerk me off because I have a raging hard on?"

"Hey Jack, my screen door is not closing right again, can you come over and take a look at it again like you did before. Oh by the way, I woke up horny today and after you fix the door, can you lick my pussy?"

Lol!!!!

 

[MMM_wms]

thank you Funnbrandy

I am finding this conversation here quite interesting, thank you Funnbrandy for initiating it.

I do not believe, however, that anecdotal evidence is helping the discussion any. bareman, for instance, was involved in a very special situation, and I do not believe your situation can be generalized.

Now your experience, Sigmund7, seems like a general case to me. You seem to believe sex between close friend is sinful, or bad for other reasons, and the only way it can work is via great distancing.

My own opinion: only if everything works out right, sexually, will sex between friends work out, otherwise (mediocre) sex will affect a friendship negatively. Seems like an obvious conclusion to me, BTW. And indirectly you, Hipshot confirm my viewpoint, with your remark on really good sex being OK.

What is your opinion on my input, Funnbrandy?

And BTW, what kind of brandy are you consuming, to make the fun from it deserve a second N?

 

[IsItBad]

maybe

i have had many a female friend that i wanted to fuck
and a good many that i have fucked

of the ones i have fucked, without a single exception, we both wanted to do it some more.....and then some more.....and then got emotionally involved....and then had an affair......not one single exception to this

of the ones i would like to have fucked and didn't - in several cases we discussed it ....could we fuck and not get involved.....both wanted to fuck.....but both wanted to not ruin our friendship......so....even today....i remain good friends with several of them ....and we both know we have always wanted to fuck each other....and occasionally we brush against one another....or something....kind of like that song....what would happen if we kissed?.......cant remember who sang it....

anyway....i do know people who even will call themselves "sport fuckers" who are proud of the fact that they can fuck with impunity.....it means nothing.....there are no strings attached....etc.....so....for some people obviously it is possible

i think, however, if one is inclined to wax romantically......it is nearly impossible....

anyway....just my 2 cents....

 

[peterthelicker]

Funnbrandy have you done it? Have you fucked a friend and called it good? I can’t imagine someone fucking you and NOT wanting a constant renewal.

 

[Funnbrandy]

Funnbrandy have you done it? Have you fucked a friend and called it good? I can’t imagine someone fucking you and NOT wanting a constant renewal.

I've done it on a couple occasions and had mixed results, I actually gave a guy friend of mine a blowjob once kind of on a dare but also to shut him up and prove that the rumours were true...... of course he wanted to be an ongoing thing but I left it at that and honestly it kind of oddly made our friendship better

 

[Funnbrandy]

I am finding this conversation here quite interesting, thank you Funnbrandy for initiating it.

I do not believe, however, that anecdotal evidence is helping the discussion any. bareman, for instance, was involved in a very special situation, and I do not believe your situation can be generalized.

Now your experience, Sigmund7, seems like a general case to me. You seem to believe sex between close friend is sinful, or bad for other reasons, and the only way it can work is via great distancing.

My own opinion: only if everything works out right, sexually, will sex between friends work out, otherwise (mediocre) sex will affect a friendship negatively. Seems like an obvious conclusion to me, BTW. And indirectly you, Hipshot confirm my viewpoint, with your remark on really good sex being OK.

What is your opinion on my input, Funnbrandy?

And BTW, what kind of brandy are you consuming, to make the fun from it deserve a second N?

I tend to agree with you that it would have to be good on both sides but then again now we're talkin about a friend with benefits situation and not just one-time thing......
And I added the second N because funbrandy was taken..... but it works out because I'm likely twice as fun as her, lol

 

[mikendel]

How convenient would that be!....."God I'm so horny today".... "oh really!....well let me help you with that the"
Lol

Exactly!! A few beers and a shot. Been with many friends and it has been good. Almost like glad we got that out of the way.

 

[wildp]

Have done that a time or two. Is easy if get the emoticons out of way. Had one that couldn’t do that very well. I told her no more sex but she wanted more and worked on the emotion part. The other once she figured out was just sex the sex itself was better

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Have done that a time or two. Is easy if get the emoticons out of way. Had one that couldn’t do that very well. I told her no more sex but she wanted more and worked on the emotion part. The other once she figured out was just sex the sex itself was better

I dunno. It doesn’t matter who you go to bed with, you’ll wake up with somebody else. Isn’t that why being ‘friend-zoned‘ is such a killer? In this case, you’ll no longer have a friend; you’ll have a lover or an ex.