Sex with an ex

When you say "goes to visit an ex", you make it sound like a journey. Under those conditions, being a special trip and all, maybe. I mean, you're going out of your way, right? What are your expectations?

On the other hand, I'm on good terms with several ex girlfriends, and we've become platonic friends. In each case, neither of us feels the sexual tension, so we're free to relate on other levels. It can be a good thing.
 
PinkOrchid said:
Hypothetical question here.

If a person goes to visit an ex (they are on good terms), is it safe to assume one or both of them expects to have sex? Is it naive to think they won't?

Ya know I have been sitting here staring at your question for at least a good five minutes!

The only thing that seems to be stuck in my head is having sex again with my ex wife............ :(

Now, I would put the barrel of my loaded Colt 45 officer's model in my mouth and suck hard on it before I'd let that happen.... :eek:

GOD, it's going to take a hell of a lot of Jack Daniels to wash that image out of my head....:rolleyes:

Jaded1, CT :devil:
 
Totally depends on the ex. I have a number of ex's I'd be happy to still sleep with... but it's unlikely, and probably wiser not to reopen that with them... If it were a "road trip" "special trip" out of town visit kind of thing, and you're both still that friendly - why not?

Let us know how it turns out!
 
PinkOrchid said:
Hypothetical question here.

If a person goes to visit an ex (they are on good terms), is it safe to assume one or both of them expects to have sex? Is it naive to think they won't?

Hmm
Exactly how hypothetical IS this, would be my question
Knowing the background & people involved & present situations would help answer
 
I have to agree on how special the trip is and what sort of relationship the two have. If you've become really good friends and one or both is dating someone I'd say no. Of course I'm not the person to ask since when I wasn't dating someone I made booty calls to a couple of my ex's - even to one I didn't actually sleep with when we dated. Go figure!
 
I think if the mood is right, then go for it. Why not? I wouldn't go into it with any preconceived plans though.

Strange you should bring this up because just earlier today I was curious what it would be like to have sex with my ex whom I broke up with a couple years ago. He was the guy I lost my virginity to and my longest relationship. Definately have had better sex and I'm quite curious to see if he's gotten any better. *grins*
 
I don't think it's naive to think that you won't have sex with your ex... after all one of my ex boyfriends is my best friend, and we haven't had sex or anything at all sexual in the two years since we broke up, even though occasionally we've slept in the same bed and stuff. In fact, i've never slept with any of my ex-bf's.

However, i have thought about sleeping with my last bf occasionally, he was pretty good in bed, and i wouldn't mind riding him again... hehe... so it's not outside the realms of possibility.

Hmm, your hypothetical question doesn't sound too hypothetical to me... in fact, it sounds like your partner might be visting their ex, and you're worried. Am i way off base here? if so, sorry, that's just what i thought of when i read your question...

Katie
 
PinkOrchid said:
Hypothetical question here.

If a person goes to visit an ex (they are on good terms), is it safe to assume one or both of them expects to have sex? Is it naive to think they won't?

I think it depends on the individual circumstances. Each relationship was different. Would I love to get it on with some of my ex-GF's? Sure I would! Would I avoid some of my other ex-GF's? Sure I would; like they were the plague! But again each relationship does have its own nuances & emotional strings attached. I've even had fantasies where I would be in the midst of several of my ex's! Some people you can still feel a connection to even after years of separation; others for whatever reason just fail to re-connect.
 
Re: Re: Sex with an ex

Jaded1 said:
Ya know I have been sitting here staring at your question for at least a good five minutes!

The only thing that seems to be stuck in my head is having sex again with my ex wife............ :(

Now, I would put the barrel of my loaded Colt 45 officer's model in my mouth and suck hard on it before I'd let that happen.... :eek:

GOD, it's going to take a hell of a lot of Jack Daniels to wash that image out of my head....:rolleyes:

Jaded1, CT :devil:

Wow Jaded1!

I am not sure anything could wash the image of a man doing that to himself out of my head.
I thought I was jaded but that is beyond any image I have regarding an ex I wouldn't sleep with if he was the last man earth.

Answering the question-I think it depends on a lot of things, no it is not safe to assume.
You can never really know what goes on between two people, only they would know and even then sometimes even they don't
For me it would depend on where I was in the other parts of my life, had I a made an agreement to limit sex to one person, did I have the integretity to honor that agreement?, how I felt about my ex, what was going on in their life? If they were involved in a monagamous relationship, I wouldn't have sex with them.
I would always carry condoms, however ; ) Better to have them and not use them , then not have them and want them. I always use condoms, so no condoms means no sex.
 
PinkOrchid said:
Hypothetical question here.

If a person goes to visit an ex (they are on good terms), is it safe to assume one or both of them expects to have sex? Is it naive to think they won't?

I think it depends entirely on the relationship.

If I were unattached...

There are a few exes that I would sleep with in a heartbeat. The relationships ended well, for mutual reasons, and we were both sorry that it didn't work out. We took our time getting over each other and wound up with...wonder of wonders...a strong friendship. Would I sleep with them? Yes.

On the other hand...there are those that, while I love being friends with them, I would never sleep with them again. We ended badly. I wouldn't want to revive those old painful feelings.

So...depends. :)

"depends" is a good answer for a hypothetical question, I know...

:rolleyes:

S.
 
sleeping with an ex

I wouldn't mind sleeping with my ex, in fact she has told me that she wishes it would happen. I am married and so is she, we have agreed that the 800 miles that separate us is a good thing for our spouses.
 
Well....

I would have suggested not going but that is me. However. since you did go and seemed to have a good time. I would just file it under the good trip memories file and leave it at that. Now you ex calling every day that is something that I doubt I have the tact to handle properly. You need to decide on what level you want to maintain this relationship. Then let him know where he stands.

Hope this helps

Holden
 
Recycle

Relationships are the only thing that shouldn't be recycled.

:kiss:
 
Sometimes the second time around and after learning a lot, it could be better than ever. Just depends on whether or not it was even good the first time.
 
This weekend I spent all of Saturday with my ex. Everything was amazing. I honestly forgot for a while we've been broken up for about 3 years now. :catgrin:

I ended up staying the night... and well, we ended up having sex (and wow was it so much better than I remembered!)

However... now I'm facing this problem where I would love to try things with him again (it didn't work out before due to me being a chickenshit and scared of commitment). We've been close friends since we ended things and now that he is out of a relationship, I'd be willing to try. Problem being he doesn't really want another relationship (with anyone) as a 2.5 yr one ended in Nov. That and I now live about 11 hours away...

At any rate, sorry for the babble. :)
 
AGH...darn those emotions! If it wasn't for those little foibles I'm sure we'd be fornicating up a storm with our exes. As much as we complicate our lives with them, it also enriches us in all sorts of ways.:rolleyes:
 
PinkOrchid said:

Hypothetical question here.

If a person goes to visit an ex (they are on good terms), is it safe to assume one or both of them expects to have sex? Is it naive to think they won't?

I think it's never wise to assume anything, no matter what. (Remember what they say about assuming... "You make an ass out of u 'n me.)

You may be on "good terms" but you're exes for reasons, right? (Also, are we talking ex husband/wife or ex boy/girlfriend?) I've remained friends with some of my exes and there have been some that I had sex with after we broke up. (And, ironically the sex was better once we weren't a couple. :rolleyes: ) But, I certainly never assumed I'd get sex from them when hanging out. I can't say for sure if they assumed it or not, of course, but I was never pressured into sex or anything.
 
Just a ramble...

My ex and I broke up last May, and we're friends.. we hung out the other day, saw some cool movies. We drove out of the city together in my car, up to his truck at the metro, and as we were leaving that lot for the highway, I thought I saw a dog on the side of the road, standing on the other side of the guardrail.

I stopped, and got of my car, and whistled - and saw half a dozen deer, standing there staring at me from the hillside sloping down from the road. This was about 10:30 at least... so I stood, and looked at them. He got out of his truck, and came over, stood behind me - put his hands on my back, and his head on my shoulder. We all looked at each other, the deer and us, and then they all snorted at once, and bounded off, white tails bobbing.

We went home to my place, put on some nice music and warm light, and messed around. It was good, and then he went home.

It's not going anywhere, it just seemed comfy and familiar. I'm so lucky to have such a great best friend, and he's even luckier.
 
I ended up having sex with my Exe wife two weeks after our divorce. The sex was good but she freaked out in the morning and I've never heard from her since. But I didn't expect this to happen and she felt I had seduced her and was scared of her new partner finding out about it .
 
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