Sex and Sexuality: Education

[daughter]

previously posted on another sexuality forum for women

Ladies(guys, too)--


Do you consider yourself well educated about sex? If yes, by what means did you become informed. No kidding.

How do we go about learning and expressing our sexuality?

Peace,

daughter

 

[Cheyenne]

I'll make the assumption that you mean knowledge vs. practical experience. For example, there are many things I've learned about at Lit that I have no practical experience in (and never will.)
Every time I think I've heard it all, something gets posted here about a sexual topic that is brand new to me and, in many cases, makes no sense to me. Outsider's avatar of someone injecting their balls to make them grossly large, for example. EWWWWW!

I'd say my main source of sex info has always been reading. When younger, my mom gave me "the book" to learn about what was happening to my body. Later on I bought the book "Our bodies, ourselves" (I think that is the title) for more practical info. That book has been around for decades and still is practical. Once the internet evolved with great search engines, my main source of info on any topic became "Google." I think I am at Google at least a couple times a day, every day, looking for information on all kinds of topics. I don't even use other search engines anymore. If I had a particular question on sex, Google is where I would start. Also, Lit is a great source of more personalized info. I think I've learned a lot more about the lesbian point of view since reading the general bb, as yet another example. People here are very open, and you learn about many things you wouldn't necessarily have access to in RL.

 

[alltherage]

Wow. This is some apple. I guess i can take a bite.

I was molested. My that looks funny. My first sexual experience involved pain and degredation. Early in my life I accepted blame for that and acted accordingly. I have had to teach myself to break the associations that come from that. It has not been easy.

I actively sought out information about sex when I determined that I had had enough suffering from the memories of that early event. I tried to retrain my mind i suppose. It took a long time to get to a point where sex did not equate with guilt. I fell head over heals with a woman years ago. I frustrated her because she felt i never fully let myself go. I had body image and trust issues. She set about to teach me how to accept and eventually love my body. She also taught me that trust could be given without fear.

I think my bi-sexuality springs from the molestation. It does not consciously enter my mind when I am with a man but I am sure it works unconsciously against being completely comfortable. I was married for what I consider a long time. We were happy for many of those years, but in the end, I could not trust him on the most basic level. He became violent. I am not afraid in general but there is not much you can do with 190 pounds of rage. There is a softness to women that attracts me. I have never been afraid of a women.

To answer your question daughter. I have to say I am still learning. The key to sexual education is self education. Know yourself. It is a hellava task but one we must take on if we have hopes of being content in this world.

 

[JennyOmanHill]

Still learning

As an only child, and a "victim" of 12 years of catholic education (50s-60s version!) I was always behind the times as far as my sexual education.

Eventually learned more as I got older through friends and reading. Lit has certainly opened my eyes to a lot of different sexual lifestyles, and I feel more opened about sexuality as a result.

I'm still learning, but I now have a "guidance counselor" who is helping me learn even more!

 

[Camille]

I consider myself well educated in the areas I'm into. I learned things mostly from books and lovers and of course lots of practice and experimentation.

Of course being on sites like this expands my horizons so to speak.

Cam

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

I know shit all.

I read stuff, I hear others talk. but I still question what I hear some times.
Is that posible? how the hell did they do that?

 

[daughter]

Me, too

Ladies--

I could relate to each of you. I had been married, babies and divorced when I discovered I didn't know as much as I thought I did. LOL

I had had plenty of sex, but I was no sex maven. I'm a reader and once I got online a floodgate was at my disposal. Cam and Cheyenne, I , too have met some wonderful folk who were willing to enlighten me about different lifestyles. And Jen, my partner has been the best teacher when it comes to intimacy. All, I feel you, gurl. I'm trying not to pick the scabs. We do heal. We love, too. I got it good now. Yeah!

Besides google, there are some good sexuality forums out there. For clinical information, I frequent the Society for Human Sexuality. Know a goodie for women(men welcomed, but women focused). Good source for poly folks and lesbians. I have a good friend who is poly and transgender. Talk about an education.

Thanks for participating ladies. Glad to know I'm not the only one learning how much she didn't know.

Peace,

daughter

 

[Weird Harold]

Do you consider yourself well educated about sex?

Yes

If yes, by what means did you become informed. No kidding.

A combination of on-the-job-training and reading.

I think that since sexual arousal is such a personal thing that I will need to be retrained if I ever get into another relationship. What I learned about my ex-wives won't have much direct bearing on what other women like.

What I've read here (and elsewhere) could quite possibly have kept me from being divorced.

 

[Moridin187]

*sighs*

I've got a fairly good idea about sex... and a pretty good idea about how to be good at it... but I've had very little practice or "hands on" experience... Something which I'm trying to remedy as soon as possible.