Sex and regret

[Eilan]

It's been done to death, I'm sure, but I haven't seen any recent threads on this topic.

When it comes to all things sex, do you regret some of the things you've done?

Do you regret some of the things you haven't done?

Do tell.

 

[Quoll]

A drunken attempt that fortunately didn't work, and I aint telling. I will say I envy those that don't remember the things they do when drunk.

 

[Nott]

Sex and Regret

I dont regret anything I've done sexually, I only reget the oppertunities that I've missed. Being shy has it's disadvantages

Nott

 

[Chicklet]

Hmm I regret losing my virginity as early as I did.

 

[CorsetLvr]

I think we all have regreats about things we have done, or is that people we have done? I put that in the category of "Monday Morning Quarter Backing." Hindsight is always 20/20. I have made a few bad choices in lovers over the years. On the bright side I can say there were a lot fewer bad choices then good ones.

Yes, I have a few regrets about opportunities missed too.

 

[Scepter]

I dont regret anything I've done sexually, I only reget the oppertunities that I've missed. Being shy has it's disadvantages

Nott

Couldn't have said it better myself.

 

[Missingmeds]

I dont regret anything I've done sexually, I only reget the oppertunities that I've missed. Being shy has it's disadvantages

Nott

I so agree with this but I didn't miss any opportunities because I am shy. It was/is usually because something else gets in the way.

 

[AppleBiter]

I wouldn't say I regret it, necessarily (that's kind of a strong word) . . . but a few months ago, my SO and I decided to have sex whilst drunk because we'd never done that before. It was . . . detached. I didn't like it. Fortunately, neither did he. So, we won't be doing that again. Live and learn.

 

[SweetErika]

I've felt pangs of regret over the years, mostly over sleeping with people I wasn't in a romantic relationship with because at times that caused some emotional turmoil. However, even shortly after those encounters, I realized I had learned a lot, and was grateful because the new knowledge would serve me well in the future (and it has). So for a really long time, I haven't regretted anything sexual.

I think I could also choose to regret things I didn't learn or do sooner out of fear, like really learning about and trying anal, and being enthusiastic about receiving oral, but I don't. I figure waiting and overcoming fears led to greater appreciation for, and enjoyment of, the experiences when they did happen.

 

[Recidiva]

It's been done to death, I'm sure, but I haven't seen any recent threads on this topic.

When it comes to all things sex, do you regret some of the things you've done?

Do you regret some of the things you haven't done?

Do tell.

There's one guy I regret. I was too young and suspicious and idealistic and he was...perfect. He was perfect, it would have been perfect and I just wasn't perfect enough yet for myself to go there.

We met along Santa Monica pier in LA on one of my nights off. I was just leaning over and looking at the ocean and he started up a conversation. I kept waiting for him to get bored and wander off.

A little while into our conversation I asked him why he was talking to me and he was cool enough to say "Why, because I'm gorgeous?" and have that just be an obviously stated fact. His gym bag got stolen and we didn't even notice. When he discovered it was missing, he insisted on me letting him take me out to dinner since he lost all his belongings and it was my fault because I was distracting.

He took me out to a gorgeous restaurant along Santa Monica pier and nobody doubted that he belonged there, just me. I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and he looks like the owner of the place. I was intimidated and out of place. He did everything he could to make me comfortable there, but I could only act as if I was, I couldn't actually say how intimidating the whole thing was.

Too much, too soon, too young, but I should have run away with him even for one night. Even when I said "no" all he did was look wistful and fall asleep in my arms. He kept calling me and telling me jokingly that he wouldn't possibly give up on me, he'd already taken me to dinner, but I just couldn't believe this god among men would be interested in me and I couldn't get past my suspicions and inadequacies to meet him even halfway.

 

[FurryFury]

I don't regret any of the sex I've had. I only regret the sex I passed up while trying to be a good girl. *grr*

Fury

 

[TBKahuna123]

Many years ago, my wife had a medical condition which made sex very painful. The problem was, she never told me how bad it was. She'd be crying after sex, trying to hide it with her face buried in her pillow, but I wasn't picking up on it. Finally I pushed until she told me how bad it was. She said she was havign sex with me because it was her "wifely duty". It crushed me, I mean I was devestated that while I had been recieving pleasure, I was inflicting excrutiating pain on her.

We then went almost 7 months without having sex while they got her taken care of. In the end it was all for the better, even though the lack of sex was a strain for those many months. For years afterward I would be constantly askign her if she was ok during sex, making sure she wasn't just doing it to make me happy. This got really annoying for her, but after a while it all worked out, I became confident that she'd tell me if it hurt and all has been well ever since.

Still to this day I regret all those times when we had sex that she had to go through that pain, just because she felt she was obligated.

 

[FurryFury]

Many years ago, my wife had a medical condition which made sex very painful. The problem was, she never told me how bad it was. She'd be crying after sex, trying to hide it with her face buried in her pillow, but I wasn't picking up on it. Finally I pushed until she told me how bad it was. She said she was havign sex with me because it was her "wifely duty". It crushed me, I mean I was devestated that while I had been recieving pleasure, I was inflicting excrutiating pain on her.

We then went almost 7 months without having sex while they got her taken care of. In the end it was all for the better, even though the lack of sex was a strain for those many months. For years afterward I would be constantly askign her if she was ok during sex, making sure she wasn't just doing it to make me happy. This got really annoying for her, but after a while it all worked out, I became confident that she'd tell me if it hurt and all has been well ever since.

Still to this day I regret all those times when we had sex that she had to go through that pain, just because she felt she was obligated.

But that was her decision which she made without telling you!

It wasn't your fault!

Some women like to give even when it hurts because they are made that way.

Most men say they don't want to have sex if she is not into it.

She may not be into the sex but she may be into giving and in a way that is a beautiful thing in my book.

Fury

 

[Onanymous]

......

 

[Recidiva]

There are no perfect people, but there are times when the "perfect" sexual relationship can turn into disastrous or painful emotional one. It sounds like this guy could have broken your heart eventually.

For whatever regrets I may have had about sex or relationships--and I think these are also regrets of omission--I've managed to forgive myself.

I've grown to embrace having my heart broken. Means there was space for something else to fit there and it was too small to begin with to hold all there is to be held. I was too young to know this about myself.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

I used to think I regretted some things sexually. But, I realized one day that if I hadn't of done those things, I wouldn't be the person I am today. I don't regret any of them any more at any time, just look at them as a learning experience that I definitely learned from and moved on.

 

[TBKahuna123]

But that was her decision which she made without telling you!

It wasn't your fault!

Some women like to give even when it hurts because they are made that way.

Most men say they don't want to have sex if she is not into it.

She may not be into the sex but she may be into giving and in a way that is a beautiful thing in my book.

Fury

Thanks Fury, but believe me I don't BLAME myself anymore and she never blamed me either. Still, thinking back I do regret that I caused her pain. I've found that over 10+ years of marriage I've hurt her feelings many times without any intention to do so, and that always bothers me. Still this is the only time I have ever caused her physical pain. The fact that it wasn't intentional doesn't lessen my regret at all, but it has made it possible to lose any guilt I used to feel. Regret and guilt are different emotions.

 

[FurryFury]

Thanks Fury, but believe me I don't BLAME myself anymore and she never blamed me either. Still, thinking back I do regret that I caused her pain. I've found that over 10+ years of marriage I've hurt her feelings many times without any intention to do so, and that always bothers me. Still this is the only time I have ever caused her physical pain. The fact that it wasn't intentional doesn't lessen my regret at all, but it has made it possible to lose any guilt I used to feel. Regret and guilt are different emotions.

I've always thought you were smart and wise, once again you show that are are both.

Fury

 

[TBKahuna123]

Wow, I'm blushing now. Thanks.

 

[FurryFury]

You are most welcome.

Fury

 

[Guest]

 

[revolution724]

I regret every single time I ever let my ex-husband lay a hand on me. Particularly the first, since it was MY first.

 

[Eilan]

Damn. I went off and had a life and forgot about this thread.

I wish I'd done a better job of communicating some issues (painful sex and such) with my ex. Yeah, that's more of a communication issue, but it directly impacted the sex.

I don't regret anything sexual that I've done. I wish I'd chosen a couple of ex-partners a little more wisely, but what's done is done and I don't regret it. Hindsight's 20/20 and all that.

At this point, I don't regret anything that I haven't done, but that's because I've done a lot of things with my husband that I never thought I'd do with anyone. I've not yet had a chance to regret anything.

 

[pisces21]

I dont regert anything so far sexually. Although I do regret (sometimes) that my morals prohibited me from acting in the moment.

 

[devils_daughter]

Yeh, definatly. My biggest regret in my life is the time I slept with two different guys in one night. I've never felt so used and dirty, I proved I had no respect for myself and that's not something or someone I ever want to be again.