Seriously, how can guys cheat and the other half not know?
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Ellafun
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Are you looking for advice on HOW to get away with it? Or just throwing out an observation? Or bragging?
HeyItsDani
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If you go home smelling like pussy, then yeah, it's kind of hard to miss if your SO knows what it smells like. Anyone who's walked into a room where two people have been fucking has surely smelled the scent of sex. It's not hard to miss, really.
Loverskitten
I bite
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We women are a trusting bunch.... and if we don't trust, we get shit for it :/
That's how the fuckers get away with it
That's how the fuckers get away with it
Are you looking for advice on HOW to get away with it? Or just throwing out an observation? Or bragging?
Pure observation. Something I realized when I got home last night.
Loverskitten
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I've got a question for you, cheater. Why do you cheat? Why don't you just tell the one you're with that she's not making you happy and you're moving on. Seems you want to be caught.
Why don't guys just man up, be honest and move on to someone that makes them happy? And if one girl can't, be honest with the one who thinks she is making you happy.
HeyItsDani
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First off, you realize women cheat, too, right? Almost at the same rate men do these days. Second, most people don't want to leave the "comfort" of an existing relationship, their housing arrangements, family, etc, if all they're looking for is a little sexual excitement. The fact that someone cheats doesn't necessarily mean they don't love their SO any less than they used to, or that the SO doesn't make them any less happy than ever, except perhaps sexually.
Ummm.... I'm single? Was just something I thought of when I got home last night. Please don't project.
MIrabbitGirl
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A time when a Facebook style "like" button would be helpful. Thanks for the laugh.
Sorry you had such a rough time!
Eilan
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Eleven years later, I can safely say that my ex's cheating/leaving was one of the best things that ever happened to me. Otherwise, I wouldn't have met my husband and had my other two awesome daughters!A time when a Facebook style "like" button would be helpful. Thanks for the laugh.
boredVAwife
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They don't have a monopoly on the subject. I gave in to my temptations more than a couple of times. I joined lit to fill voids and you can probably tell from my screen name why. I have been with other women since college and tried my darndest to quell it during my marriage but couldn't and I cheated. Hubs never wanted a 3 some. Not all men do if you can believe that. It was the wrong thing to do. Our marriage is and was over but it was wrong and I regret it simply because it hurt him to find out ( I owned up to it at least ) I had been unfaithful. I wish I had been honest and we had separated long before. He works out of town every couple of weeks and is married to his career and all the excuses I made still didn't justify hurting someone like that. That is one mistake I will carry with me for a while.
TheLM
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Have to comment on this... A cheater may still love their partner, but they obviously don't love them enough not to hurt them.
Assuming that the word "cheating" implies the other spouse not knowing or agreeing to the situation.
I don't like it when women/men say "I had to cheat to save our relationship!"
If that was really the case then the both of them should discuss it like adults and decide how to handle the situation.
HeyItsDani
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I don't think the vast majority of cheaters go into cheating to hurt anyone, since it is almost invariably done without their partner's knowledge. I realize that, if it becomes known they're cheating, then the partner ends up hurt, but most folks don't look at it from that kind of viewpoint when it gets started.
NippleMuncher
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I would agree. Most cheaters are looking for something that has been lost or lacking in their lives. Remorse usually comes after the SO has found out about the cheating.
From experience I can say that trying to find lost love, lack of sex or intimacy is a powerful motivator to cheat. It is difficult to stay true when you find you have a deep longing for the touch of another. That doesn't make cheating right or the needs any easier to deal with. Ultimately, the cheater, or potential cheater, must ask themselves:
1 - How would you feel if it was your SO cheating on you?
2 - Can you live with the consequences when your SO finds out?
It's far easier to deal with your life situation than it is to deal with the aftermath of cheating.
PhilGarlic
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problem
I've got enough trouble keeping one woman happy, why would I double my problems
but I have known more then one guy that cheat whenever they can, for some reason as long as it's not shoved in the SOs face, they put up with it (not to say they like it)
I've got enough trouble keeping one woman happy, why would I double my problems
but I have known more then one guy that cheat whenever they can, for some reason as long as it's not shoved in the SOs face, they put up with it (not to say they like it)
SecretPoster
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At the end of the day it depends on the parties involved. I know of on man whose now ex was having a rare auld time for about ten years and he didn't have a bulls notion anything was going on. They had children and he's not sure if they're his. He doesn't want to know tbh.
He only found out because she finally settled on on bloke she liked and went off with him.
This bloke hadn't a clue. How much of that was 'don't ask, don't tell' I don't know, don't know the bloke very well.
Just goes to show though that if a person is determined enough and careful, it is possible.
I know for me anyway, I've had offers over the years, my marriage hasn't been sunshine and light all the time, but I've always turned down physical opportunities to stray. There are only so many hours in the day and short of radio tagging your partner you have to rely on trust.
He only found out because she finally settled on on bloke she liked and went off with him.
This bloke hadn't a clue. How much of that was 'don't ask, don't tell' I don't know, don't know the bloke very well.
Just goes to show though that if a person is determined enough and careful, it is possible.
I know for me anyway, I've had offers over the years, my marriage hasn't been sunshine and light all the time, but I've always turned down physical opportunities to stray. There are only so many hours in the day and short of radio tagging your partner you have to rely on trust.
Sexy_Beaver
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Often people only see what they want to see. It can be easy to ignore one's own suspicions if one is afraid of the answers to certain questions.
Dani
How did you get to be so insightful. You have a knack for hitting it square on. This is a key element to the story I'm in the process of writing. (You aren't the Dani of Dani's Hard Drive are you?)
As for the other guy who asked how you could go home without a shower, the term usually used for that in court is "asked and answered".
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