SERIOUS QUESTION! Women would you be offended if...

[Guest]

 

[Sulk]

My partner has sometimes refused sex pleading tiredness. And unless I want to resort to the A Team method - two lolly sticks and lots of duct tape - I take his refusal with grace then reach for the toy box ..

 

[Recidiva]

I think there's a difference between being disappointed, offended or disgusted.

Disappointment is "I can't right now, I have to be at work in five minutes, and if I don't, I'm going to lose my job."

Offended is "Lady, I wouldn't touch you to repopulate the planet."

Disgusted is "I'd only fuck you if you wore this little suit, while we listened to this song, and we have to do it in this place. It makes me think of my mom."

In general, though, I try to treat being asked or asking as a compliment, and not taking someone up on it has to be taken with dignity, or don't ask.

 

[Guest]

Thanks for the response.....

 

[Guest]

What if you politely refuse because you want to wait???

 

[Rebel Rose]

a man turned you down for sex?
This is a serious questions for ladies or men who have ever done it for any reason other than spite.
If a man wanted to date and made it known up front that he was not interested in a sexual relationship. Would you be offended if you tried to have sex with him and he refused?

The short answer: NO.

The long answer: If it was made known up front, definitely not. Women have sexual needs too, but sometimes it's more about the companionship. Now if the relationship was leading somewhere more than friendship and the man turned me down after we'd been dating (or whatever) for a while... I might be a little hurt ... but to want to meet someone and have sex with them right away or sex be the only thing that the relationship is based on ... well that's just crazy talk!

 

[Recidiva]

Women have been down right angry I wanted to wait even after explaining I want to get to know them better!

Well...yeah...

The trick to that is to make sure they know you do find them attractive and aren't gay, trying to find some arm candy to stay in the closet

 

[Sulk]

I am dating again for the first time in years though after a divorce. I had screwed up many relationships before by hoping into bed on the first date and not really knowing the woman. Consequently, things did not work out.

I am trying the no sex solution and seem to be losing out that way too!
Have you heard this from girlfriends? Why would they be upset when you are trying to respect them?

Has an upfront explanation of your intentions, that you wish to court them before taking the relationship into the physical, not helped?

 

[Guest]

I understand rejection as a man women say no alot it rolls off your back!

 

[Guest]

Well they know very well I am attracted to them....

 

[Rebel Rose]

It is not meant to offend and I explain my past up front.

When I was younger (early 20s), a lot of my female friends always seemed to confuse sex for love. Meaning if they have sex with somebody, they felt loved (wanted, needed...) Even if it was a new guy every week, every month. Some women I guess don't grow out of that.

 

[Guest]

It has not helped at all .....

 

[Recidiva]

I go out with attractive well educated women.
I kiss and have made out with them and want to stop and they don't it is foreign to me usually the man is the one saying sure it will be fine, "I will respect you in the morning".

I understand, I really do.

Lots of people are very touchy, and there are some men I said "no" to, and they took it as rejection, when I only wanted more time.

Sometimes, just like everything else, you just have to keep trying until you find someone you click with.

 

[Guest]

Maybe that's the problem .....

 

[Raidho]

Personally, I wouldn't be offended.

Just having gone through a divorce myself, and having had my heart bruised a bit since then, I'm a bit loathe to jump into bed with someone I just met.

I miss the days of the build up, of the anticipation and the furtive groping. It seems like, just as you said, it's an expectation that sex WILL happen.

It kind of ruins the whole dating experience for me.

 

[Guest]

I am glad someone uderstands....

 

[kbate]

I am an adult, and if a prospective partner has a reason to keep sex as a proscribed activity, I can respect that view. If the relationship in my mind requires sex, or was destined to proceed into the sexual realm, I will be disappointed, yet not offended, providing that the prospect can explain the reason for such an action.

Vanity, Fidelity, Honor, and Trust are some of the issues that come to mind in association with this topic, and each would go through my mind were a partner to refuse my sexual advances.

I normally know before the first date if I will have sex, or attempt to have sex with a person, and rarely do I deviate from the first impression. Having that in mind, the relationship is unlikely to reach the sexual refusal stage with someone who is not going to be receptive.

 

[Recidiva]

I remember the first time it happened ..... I was making out with this girl (we use to be f/b's) and she wanted to go back to her place and I recognized that look. I said why don't we call it a night, but we can keep moving forward. She looked pissed off so I called a girlfriend and asked why? She said she might have felt rejected to call her so I did. That did not help she started venting saying I led her on and she was not into these games anymore she wanted to married already and thought I wanted "more". I told her I did want more , I just didn't want sex .....CLICK we chatted a few more times and she was married in a year...unhappily I might add she calls me again to complain.

Well, someone that touchy, if they can't take the pressure that early on and their communication skills are that poor...let 'em go.

 

[Guest]

Now that's what I am talking about!

 

[Guest]

Well I can admit trust issues are a problem....

 

[Guest]

Unfortunately some of my best looking girlfriends fear becoming an old maid

 

[Recidiva]

It seems that it is never just sex even when I thought it was just sex I found out later that the woman really did like me. As I figured this out ,too late I might add. I decided after my divorce I would want to bond and trust the person by knowing them more deeply than sexually.

I'm a bonder, so I've never had a casual relationship, just feels wrong to me. But I was clearly the minority...welcome to the minority! Fortunately people looking for a relationship will put in more effort toward the whole package deal than just what's going to happen in the next four hours.

 

[Recidiva]

They believe it is now or never and they need to be married already!

Well, definitely wait for a woman who wants you with or without the ring on your finger. That just gives me the shivers, people seeking a "state" instead of a mate.

 

[Guest]

I don't wanna be in the minority though!

 

[Guest]

You would not believe how common it is!!!