Serious question about teenage boys

[freakygirl]

I found out something tonight about my 12 (almost 13) year old son Zachary.

I was talking to his step mother and she informed me that she had a pair of underwear (thongs) that belong to my boyfriends daughter.. she found them in his bedroom among a bunch of her underthings.

Things have come up missing in the past.. but always showed up in the laundry. Even though she hadn't worn them.

Lately she has started searching his room when he isn't home and she is finding things between his matress and box springs and hidden in his dresser drawers.

I guess my ex husband talked to Zachary about this.. I haven't talked to my ex yet so I haven't found out many details on what was said. The step mother is totally grossed out about this and didn't want to know what was said between my ex and our son. So she didn't have any details on it.

She (my ex husbands wife) worries that Zach is a cross dresser or is going to be gay. I am not worried.. to each his own. Ya know?

But I have some questions. Did you (the men of the board) steal underwear when you were teenagers? Is this a normal thing for boys to do?

Does anyone have any advice for handling this? I say.. take him shopping and let him pick out some of his own.. so he doesn't have to steal it. Ex husbands wife didn't like that idea. I figure it's none of her business... but she is helping raise him.. so I guess she does have a say. LOL

I'm totally blown away by this. It seems so out of character for this kid.. LOL

 

[lobito]

I doubt it's cross dressing or gay stuff, but isn't your daughter rather young for thongs?

I think it's hormones, but what do I know?

 

[Guru]

Are you sure he's *wearing* them and not fantasizing about a girl in them?

 

[phrodeau]

There's a reason it's called "intimate apparel". This boy is probably curious and excited about handling a woman's intimate things.

Same reason men like to check out lingerie catalogs. They aren't usually interested in whether it comes in their size.

 

[Weevil]

Uh, no, I didn't steal any underwear. I did lots of other weird things though.

 

[nitelite33]

Cross-dressing is certainly not the first thing that popped into my mind...

More likely the boy just has a healthy attitude towards sex, and is using female underwear as a 'focus'...

I certainly know that I was hornier then a poodle in heat at that age, and I would have dug panties if I coulda got em...

It's tough to say without being crass, but he probably wants the panties "not to dress in, but more to 'mess' in".

Have you had the "masturbation is a healthy part of growing-up" chat? But that he has to respect boundries and other peoples privacy?

 

[Ham Murabi]

Is your son asthmatic?

 

[Star of Penumbra]

Most likely your son's actions are motivated by curiosity and hormones than a desire to be more feminine, and he'll probably outgrow it.

Also, his stepmom should try to be less nosey. He's growing up, and at a difficult age for everybody. Knowing his stepmom is snooping around in his room when he isn't there could easily damage or destroy any sense of privacy in that house and trust for his stepmother.

 

[HarleydevilzoN]

Maybe he is just into underwear. I remember my self when I was 13. But I don't think I'm going to say what I was doing back then

 

[RudeNastyAssBitch]

Totally!

Cross-dressing is certainly not the first thing that popped into my mind...

It's tough to say without being crass, but he probably wants the panties "not to dress in, but more to 'mess' in".

Have you had the "masturbation is a healthy part of growing-up" chat? But that he has to respect boundries and other peoples privacy?

That Is What I Thought Right Off!

That Talk Is A Doozy, But It'll Help All The Way Round.

 

[Guest]

I never did

what the teen is probally doing is have a fanasty about what go in the thong he is of an age where he is curious

 

[ACode352]

Give the kid a break he's going through puberty and he's jerking off either on the thongs or about them. You should be questioning why the young daughter is wearing a thong to start with instead !!!!!!

 

[Killswitch]

I'm curious why your ex husband has custody of your son and you dont.

I mean I am all for the men finally getting to be the custodial parent, but it is still very unusual.

 

[JerseyBoy]

I never did, but who the hell would i steal them from? my mom? ugh

Now if there was an un-related teenage girl living in my house the curiousty level increases infinitely...

He just really need a talk about how wrong it is to steal from her....*warning: do not embarass, do not embarass*

I'm surprised she hasn't asked for a lock on her door

 

[sterlingclay]

I was talking to his step mother and she informed me that she had a pair of underwear (thongs) that belong to my boyfriends daughter.. she found them in his bedroom among a bunch of her underthings.

SCORE!!!

 

[Lancecastor]

Hey Mom...He's Running a Business....

If you would like to buy a pair of my worn panties just click the ORDER link and select the pair you would like to order.

 

[ExLimey]

Lately she has started searching his room when he isn't home and she is finding things between his matress and box springs and hidden in his dresser drawers.

The step mother is totally grossed out about this and didn't want to know what was said between my ex and our son. So she didn't have any details on it.

First off, I don't buy the cross-dressing connection. He probably is using them as a 'focus' as someone else mentioned. If they're missing and then showing up in the laundry...

BUT, second, more curiously to me is the situation with his Step-Mom. WHO IS GOING TO HAVE A TALK WITH HER? She has absolutely no problem searching his room when he's not there but has no desire to find out his side of the story as to the evidence she illegally obtained?

Be prepared for your son to ask to move in with you. I'm not sure I'd ever feel comfortable in that environment again.

 

[Killswitch]

Re: Re: Serious question about teenage boys

BUT, second, more curiously to me is the situation with his Step-Mom. WHO IS GOING TO HAVE A TALK WITH HER? She has absolutely no problem searching his room when he's not there but has no desire to find out his side of the story as to the evidence she illegally obtained?

Be prepared for your son to ask to move in with you. I'm not sure I'd ever feel comfortable in that environment again.

Illegally obtained....lol, what color is the sky in your world.

The house belongs to the adults that pay the bills, and the panties were stolen merchandise to begin with.

I dont think our forefathers had a mother looking in her sons room when they spoke of illegal search and siezure....lol

And as for the environment his mother provides....perhaps thats why he lives with his father and step mother in the first place.

 

[Guest]

Cross-dressing is certainly not the first thing that popped into my mind...

More likely the boy just has a healthy attitude towards sex, and is using female underwear as a 'focus'...

I certainly know that I was hornier then a poodle in heat at that age, and I would have dug panties if I coulda got em...

It's tough to say without being crass, but he probably wants the panties "not to dress in, but more to 'mess' in".

Have you had the "masturbation is a healthy part of growing-up" chat? But that he has to respect boundries and other peoples privacy?

What he said, FG. Get him a porn mag and give him the speech on boundaries.

 

[Rambling Rose]

God, it's hard being a teenager. Poor horny kid. Can you imagine being called on the carpet for jerking off in your sister's panties?

Therapy for years I tell you.

 

[Wiggles]

.

 

[Killswitch]

After you figure out what all this means, you might want to try and alleviate his discomfort with some funny/weird stories of your own.

Great advice wiggles.

 

[peachykeen]

Cross-dressing is certainly not the first thing that popped into my mind...

More likely the boy just has a healthy attitude towards sex, and is using female underwear as a 'focus'...

I certainly know that I was hornier then a poodle in heat at that age, and I would have dug panties if I coulda got em...

It's tough to say without being crass, but he probably wants the panties "not to dress in, but more to 'mess' in".

Have you had the "masturbation is a healthy part of growing-up" chat? But that he has to respect boundries and other peoples privacy?

yep, just what I was thinking as well

probably too much has been made of it already. His father's talked with him, now let the poor boy be; as long as he is not taking other people's stuff it's all fine.

The room searching thing is definitely a no-no, though. Unless you have really good -and I mean really good- reason to suspect your kid is mixed up with guns and/or drugs, and you've tried everything else, let him have is privacy. At this age it's really vital to him.

 

[ExLimey]

Re: Re: Re: Serious question about teenage boys

Illegally obtained....lol, what color is the sky in your world.

The house belongs to the adults that pay the bills, and the panties were stolen merchandise to begin with.

The sky right now is grey with lots of snow coming down from it.

"Illegally obtained" was a poor choice of words on my part. I didn't mean it in that sense. I meant it in the sense that he feels that his privacy and personal space has been violated right now and would be a little offended by the snooping.

You're logic of "we pay the bills, we can search" would apply if you lived in state subsidized housing and the police decided they'd come in and look around just because "they pay the rent". Yes that is taken way, way, way to the extreme, but it's basically the same thing.

I don't want this to get into a pissing contest, my original post was a comment about the Step Mom wanting to know what's going on but not wanting to confront him on the evidence and appears she may have jumped to some conclusions already.

 

[BgMma]

I would have to say the first thing that comes to mind is that he is fantasising. You may not want to hear it, but I am sure you have thought it already, but he just have an underwear "thing" and like to masturbate with them. It's pretty common.

But, he could just look at them while thinking of a girl he happens to fancy, which I feel is normal as well. Teen boys are so confused sometimes.....there has to be an outlet somewhere and he found one that isn't hurting anybody. I say kudos to that!

If it does turn out that he is crossdressing, which the step mother MAY construe as gay, it is just another way of expressing himself. I personally don't believe that signifies he will be gay, which you well know, I am sure.

In my own long winded way I am just saying that he is just a normal guy. He is curious and fueled with hormones. Just give him a hug and tell him you love him. That's about all I can say!

Just tryin to help, honey!