Sentences that are just wrong.

[lovecraft68]

I was working on my latest and was at the sex scene. So I always just go with the flow and type like a madman then go back and fix all the typos, repetitive words, grammar, etc...

So as I'm going through I'm at the part where anal sex was involved and caught this.

"I stood there dumbfounded as I watched Brian fuck the shit out of Kara's ass."

Fucked the shit out of her ass.

Now, my opinion is most people would read through that and not notice. let's face it, many readers are missing a lot when they're reading through the juicy stuff.

But it hit me right away with a visual that was pretty damn gross, so I changed it.

So question to you, one, would you "catch" that example? Second, do you have any similar instances where you wrote something and was like "Yeah, um, no."

 

[Lovetolisten]

Lol! Yes, I would catch that. And yes, I have changed sentences for the same or similar reasons, though examples elude me at the moment.

 

[patientlee]

I was working on my latest and was at the sex scene. So I always just go with the flow and type like a madman then go back and fix all the typos, repetitive words, grammar, etc...

So as I'm going through I'm at the part where anal sex was involved and caught this.

"I stood there dumbfounded as I watched Brian fuck the shit out of Kara's ass."

Fucked the shit out of her ass.

Now, my opinion is most people would read through that and not notice. let's face it, many readers are missing a lot when they're reading through the juicy stuff.

But it hit me right away with a visual that was pretty damn gross, so I changed it.

So question to you, one, would you "catch" that example? Second, do you have any similar instances where you wrote something and was like "Yeah, um, no."

I laughed out loud when I read it. I'd catch it. And probably make a snarky comment because I think I'm funny.

 

[lovecraft68]

I laughed out loud when I read it. I'd catch it. And probably make a snarky comment because I think I'm funny.

I think we would be more apt to catch it as we write, but I do wonder about the readers. As I said in the "heat"{ of reading a sex scene a lot of people are reading one handed and not exactly taking their time.

 

[patientlee]

I think we would be more apt to catch it as we write, but I do wonder about the readers. As I said in the "heat"{ of reading a sex scene a lot of people are reading one handed and not exactly taking their time.

Yeah. Reading one handed is bad for your eyesight, or so I've heard.

 

[TE999]

So as I'm going through I'm at the part where anal sex was involved and caught this.

"I stood there dumbfounded as I watched Brian fuck the shit out of Kara's ass."

Put that story in the 'Fetish' category and the Coporophiliacs would eat it up.

 

[lovecraft68]

Put that story in the 'Fetish' category and the Coporophiliacs would eat it up.

Yeah, but then I'd have someone make some clever remark about it being a crappy story

 

[JustaSCOUNDREL]

I too caught it and laughed. Had I written it I am sure I would have caught it in one of my many self editing rereads.

I also got a kick out of your comment about a "crappy story." Thanks for the laughs.


Mike

 

[robertreams]

No the coprophagists would eat it up, lol

 

[Boxlicker101]

Especially Brinnie.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

It's where reading the story 5 days later helps. You're not quite the 'proud mother' then.