Self Motivation

[Typo Fu Master]

How do you make yourself do something you don't want to do?

 

[TexasWife25]

I like to remind myself of the benefits I gain by doing it.

Example, working out. I hate it. Im not one of those people who love the feeling of being sweaty and sore ..well .. unless that feeling is following an amazing orgasm So .. I remind myself why I work out and force myself to anyway

 

[Recidiva]

By being mindful of the consequences if I don't.

Much more than that and your motivation fades. If there really isn't a good reason for doing something, I won't.

So, you really can't make yourself, or you can't sustain it, if you can't put the right amount of positive force behind something.

You can keep it up with pumping yourself up and going overboard, but at least for me, that doesn't last in the long run. Has to be something I can do every day.

 

[BotanyBoy]

How do you make yourself do something you don't want to do?

Does it need to be done for whatever reason?? If yes then do...if no then fuck it.

 

[Recidiva]

I like to remind myself of the benefits I gain by doing it.

Example, working out. I hate it. Im not one of those people who love the feeling of being sweaty and sore ..well .. unless that feeling is following an amazing orgasm So .. I remind myself why I work out and force myself to anyway

Yeah, but I have to find the right way to do it. For me, I walk. Just grab a pedometer and I'll walk 10,000 steps a day while doing other things. Stand up and walk for 20 minutes at a time.

So if I can spread out my workout while doing other things, that I can sustain. If I just exercise for exercise's sake...I get really, really bored and antagonized.

 

[TexasWife25]

Yeah, but I have to find the right way to do it. For me, I walk. Just grab a pedometer and I'll walk 10,000 steps a day while doing other things. Stand up and walk for 20 minutes at a time.

So if I can spread out my workout while doing other things, that I can sustain. If I just exercise for exercise's sake...I get really, really bored and antagonized.

Im the opposite, I like to just get it out of the way. If I try to space it throughout the day then Im liable to just keep putting it off

 

[Phelia]

Break it up into smaller tasks and milestones. Make that into a checklist with boxes waiting to be ticked off. There is something so satisfying about a nice big "I did it!" X.

Visualization starting and ending with the reward you'll get for accomplishing said goal with a play-by-play of the steps you'll need to take in between.

Tell someone you're going to do it. Be accountable to at least one person other than yourself.

 

[oggbashan]

Mainly because if I don't do it, no one else will...

 

[Recidiva]

Im the opposite, I like to just get it out of the way. If I try to space it throughout the day then Im liable to just keep putting it off

I keep lists. Can't mark it off my list if I don't do it, oh no. /Gollum voice.

Precious!

I use my calendar to set up daily chores, weekly chores, biweekly chores, three month, yearly, etc.

It only makes it on the list if I know it's important, and I have to convince myself when it's not important. For instance - today, I have a cold, so fuck it. Off it goes.

But in general, if I have enough energy to do it, it gets done or just bumped to tomorrow.

I used to get up at 3 am and get it all done at once, but I also discovered I got more headaches than I usually do. 10,000 steps takes about 2-1/2 hours and if I do that straight...I end up on a little ball crying at 3:15 a.m. on the couch. Not good.

 

[Recidiva]

Break it up into smaller tasks and milestones. Make that into a checklist with boxes waiting to be ticked off. There is something so satisfying about a nice big "I did it!" X.

Visualization starting and ending with the reward you'll get for accomplishing said goal with a play-by-play of the steps you'll need to take in between.

Tell someone you're going to do it. Be accountable to at least one person other than yourself.

That doesn't work for me. In fact I'm the memory space and chore keeper of the whole household. Armed with Post-It notes, I go forth!

 

[Typo Fu Master]

I like to remind myself of the benefits I gain by doing it.

Example, working out. I hate it. Im not one of those people who love the feeling of being sweaty and sore ..well .. unless that feeling is following an amazing orgasm So .. I remind myself why I work out and force myself to anyway

That doesn't seem to work for me. I'm fully aware of the benefits of a healthy diet and exercise. But it's so much easier to sit on my ass and eat fast food. I've never been much for exercise outside of work but I used to be a vegetarian and I'm mad at myself for lacking the simple motivation to even cook healthy meals.

By being mindful of the consequences if I don't.

Much more than that and your motivation fades. If there really isn't a good reason for doing something, I won't.

So, you really can't make yourself, or you can't sustain it, if you can't put the right amount of positive force behind something.

You can keep it up with pumping yourself up and going overboard, but at least for me, that doesn't last in the long run. Has to be something I can do every day.

Eat healthy and exercise. Something we should all be doing. And a few chores that I keep putting off because it doesn't bother me enough if they aren't done. But it DOES bother me.

Does it need to be done for whatever reason?? If yes then do...if no then fuck it.

It's not that simple. Everyone I ask this question says "It's hard to make yourself do stuff you don't want to do." And it is. It's like some physical sense of revulsion at the idea that needs to be overcome first. Once over that hump it gets easier. But the battle has to be fought each time it comes up again.

 

[Typo Fu Master]

Break it up into smaller tasks and milestones. Make that into a checklist with boxes waiting to be ticked off. There is something so satisfying about a nice big "I did it!" X.

Visualization starting and ending with the reward you'll get for accomplishing said goal with a play-by-play of the steps you'll need to take in between.

Tell someone you're going to do it. Be accountable to at least one person other than yourself.

There is nobody here but me to make me do it. And I'm good at convincing myself that there's always something else more interesting/fun to do. I could be cleaning right now.

 

[Recidiva]

Eat healthy and exercise. Something we should all be doing. And a few chores that I keep putting off because it doesn't bother me enough if they aren't done. But it DOES bother me.

Couple of good tools: Calendar to schedule chores automatically. MyFitnessPal as an app to track calorie intake. Clip pedometer to track daily steps.

Though I can get fanatic and then exhausted, so I have to remember to take some days off. Like today. Headache, cold, I can defer. So I just transfer some stuff today to be done tomorrow, or check exercise as done because there's just no way if I'm low energy. I'll just overdo it and be more tired tomorrow. I'm prone to severe migraines so it's all about me having an "all or nothing" mentality having to adjust to areas of grey and judgment and recognizing I have limits that if I push, I'm just screwing myself over.

Lists help the most, I can't keep it all in my head, and it's really nice and freeing to get to the "nothing's left to do" part of the day. Then since the list keeps track of it, I don't have to wonder about what I have to do tomorrow. Took me a long time to develop a really good list, but it's worth it.

Getting a lot of experience and making them easy helps. Took me a while to learn how to clean properly. Took me even longer to realize I go nuts if I try to keep a perfectly clean house and my OCD goes crazy and I can't enjoy myself. Limit myself to certain basics on a schedule and accept "good enough" as an answer.

And don't expect to feel "good" about doing them all. I don't love chores our house cleaning and I have a tendency to want to do absolutely nothing at all, or play a video game. I just strive toward feeling neutral and listen to podcasts or music while doing my chores.

 

[Phelia]

That doesn't work for me. In fact I'm the memory space and chore keeper of the whole household. Armed with Post-It notes, I go forth!

Amen to Post-It notes! My desk is shingled with reminders and random scraps of thoughts. I call it "Copolymer Descent into Madness in E-Major."

 

[TexasWife25]

+1 to my fitnesspal

I use it too and I love it.

 

[Recidiva]

Amen to Post-It notes! My desk is shingled with reminders and random scraps of thoughts. I call it "Copolymer Descent into Madness in E-Major."

My son has Asperger's and is going to need schedule assistance well...for ever.

My husband has a...casual relationship...with time and chores.

Post-Its are a nice way to provide a reminder without there being a confrontation. It's just something to be done.

I sucked at schedules and routine until I realized my son really needed it in a very real way to make his life more navigable for him.

 

[Recidiva]

+1 to my fitnesspal

I use it too and I love it.

I'm fascinated by the fact that I can put in the most obscure...things...and it finds them for me.

 

[parodyluvr75]

Depends on what it is.

 

[Phelia]

There is nobody here but me to make me do it. And I'm good at convincing myself that there's always something else more interesting/fun to do. I could be cleaning right now.

Oh, I'm one to talk. If You Give a Moose a Muffin is essentially a psychological study of my ability to perform simple tasks.

Get a Domme.

I've used the pomodoro technique with varying results.

Sometimes I can't force myself to do something if I'm not in the mood. The trick is to force yourself to be in the mood.

 

[TexasWife25]

I'm fascinated by the fact that I can put in the most obscure...things...and it finds them for me.

Absolutely!

Especially home cooked meals, restaurant items, even obscure food brands. I was pleasantly surprised it was so nice for a free app.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I try to make every day count for something, I try to make every hour count for something, but I dont obsess about anything. What works for me is getting it all done in small chunks. But it all gets done, usually a little ahead of time. I'm the tortoise.

 

[Typo Fu Master]

I'm 5'10" and about 160lbs ... maybe slightly more now. I'm starting to get a belly. I don't worry overmuch about calorie intake. My job ensures I get at least some exercise 5 days a week. But fast food makes up a fair portion of my diet and I get Velcro Ass on weekends. Being a video game enthusiast myself (and Lit-aholic) I'd rather sit around than go for a bike ride or even a walk even though I find those activities enjoyable. Just not enough umph to want to go do them.

 

[Recidiva]

I'm 5'10" and about 160lbs ... maybe slightly more now. I'm starting to get a belly. I don't worry overmuch about calorie intake. My job ensures I get at least some exercise 5 days a week. But fast food makes up a fair portion of my diet and I get Velcro Ass on weekends. Being a video game enthusiast myself (and Lit-aholic) I'd rather sit around than go for a bike ride or even a walk even though I find those activities enjoyable. Just not enough umph to want to go do them.

Yeah, that's why steps at the desk work best for me. I can walk while playing video games. And it's so low maintenance and easy to do that you sound incredibly silly trying to talk yourself out of standing up and walking. I break it into 2000 steps at a time five times a day. If you can't do that, then just do less, until it gets absolutely ridiculous and you know you're just being stupid about it.

Yeah, I look dumb at my desk and it took me a couple of keyboard solutions to make it work (I kept leaning too hard on the bases and cracking them...)

But I got a nice padded keyboard wrist rest and overall I'm much better for it and although I look silly marching in place, I get it done.

 

[Typo Fu Master]

Oh, I'm one to talk. If You Give a Moose a Muffin is essentially a psychological study of my ability to perform simple tasks.

Get a Domme.

I've used the pomodoro technique with varying results.

Sometimes I can't force myself to do something if I'm not in the mood. The trick is to force yourself to be in the mood.

My girlfriend is supposed to be moving in with me in a few months. Whether that will help or hinder remains to be seen.

If I knew how to force myself to be in the mood I wouldn't have made this thread.

Just wondered if people have some mental technique that helps them over the hurdle of getting started. Or if I'm just a slave to my desires.

 

[Recidiva]

My girlfriend is supposed to be moving in with me in a few months. Whether that will help or hinder remains to be seen.

If I knew how to force myself to be in the mood I wouldn't have made this thread.

Just wondered if people have some mental technique that helps them over the hurdle of getting started. Or if I'm just a slave to my desires.

I think the common idea of motivation is like a personal trainer, standing over you, humiliating you and egging you on and shouting in your ear.

That doesn't work for me. I can't do that to myself. Eventually that energy wears itself out.

Pare down the tasks to exactly what you need to do and then get in the habit of doing them. I picked 10,000 steps because that's been presented as how much exercise you need to do in a day to be healthy. I have a calorie count based on my weight and then an app to keep track.

Make it easy, don't make it fanatic. Work smarter, not harder, and rely on the power of habit.

Realistically it's about making it easy to do and then building the right habits around them so it becomes just a part of your day. Make them sustainable and reasonable and if you want to do something really big, break it down into reasonable bits and do them one by one over time.