Self-masochism

[Nameless_Rose]

I'm not sure that self-masochism is even a word, but I'm making it one. I'm talking about purposely causing yourself pain. I've been trying to discover my masochistic side, and lacking a partner, I'm trying to do it myself. I'm finding it difficult to really test my limits, however. I just can't seem to really go to town on myself. I need to get over the self-preservation instinct, I suppose. Are there any other subs out there who have the same problem, or who have found some solutions to said problem? Any pain games that you play with yourself in order to test your limits?

I've tried self-flagellation, but the only area I can really reach is my back, and that gets boring. I feel too much like a repentant nun. I've also experimented with clothespins, but again, that gets boring after awhile. If anyone has any thoughts or ideas, I'd love to hear them.

 

[catalina_francisco]

It has never really been my thing simply because it isn't the same in any way as having someone else do it to you. Apart from the mental aspects, pain inflicted by yourself will not feel the same as when done by someone else, and even done by various people, you will often find a difference in the way you process and feel it with each person. I can understand how some who are not in a relationship might feel it is their only option, but as much as it might be tempting, it doesn't work for me.

Catalina

 

[Byakuya]

I feel too much like a repentant nun.

LOL! that made me chuckle..

I have a little experience in this area.. mostly because my wife's not really into BDSM, so I can't do this stuff with her.. my interest in pain comes from the thought of someone else becoming aroused by inflicting it.. so causing myself pain doesn't really turn me on.. I mostly do it to test my limits and see what I can take..

I've tried things like hot wax on myself before.. I think that works the best when I'm on my own.. I've also tried things like cutting, but blood and stuff isn't a major interest of mine.. maybe if someone else was doing it it'd be more interesting..

 

[Nameless_Rose]

I agree that experiencing self-inflicted pain is not at all the same as receiving pain from someone else. I'm basically just trying to gain an idea of my limits.

 

[CutieMouse]

I agree that experiencing self-inflicted pain is not at all the same as receiving pain from someone else. I'm basically just trying to gain an idea of my limits.

I'm not sure that you can sort out a true idea of your limits through self-exploration. I mean yes I was able to play with clamps enough to figure out I like clamps and can enjoy pain, but nothing I ever tried on myself could compare to the actual feeling of someone else wielding a flogger. I warned J that I was a BDSM virgin and I was pretty sure I'd like being tied up and flogged, but couldn't 100% promise I'd like it.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I agree that experiencing self-inflicted pain is not at all the same as receiving pain from someone else. I'm basically just trying to gain an idea of my limits.

But see, that is what I was saying...you can spank yourself, wear clamps etc., as much as you like, but it will never compare to someone else doing it hence it is not always a reliable source of limit experimentation. For one thing, with someone else doing it you have the added elements of anticipation and the mental process behind it which all go toward changing how you physically process it.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

Lit glitches

 

[Softouch911]

As the others said, I don't think it's psycho. possible to "test" your own limits. Two reasons:

-- The so-called "mindfuck" is such a large part of BDSM ... call it anticipation, surprise, anxiety, whatever. Not the same since you know what you're doing to yourself.

-- Submissives speak of the space they visit during play. I'm not sure how much "activity" that will sustain. I'm sure it varies by individual, but still -- hard to be in a receptive state re: pain when you are manipulating both the toy and yourself.

But none of this says y ou can't, perhaps, have a heck of a good time with it. It's not my thing, but a good story (from Lit., natch), maybe a candle, a few clamps, and so on ... great fantasy stuff for masturbation, I'd think. I knew a woman some time ago who did such things as part of her play on a role-play story here on lit in that section of the board.

Best wishes,
ST

 

[tanijaana]

I've practiced automasochism for years, but it has rarely been solely for sexual gratification. It's usually to get an endorphin rush that helps settle me into a meditative state, similar to the way some subs endure pain for the rush of subspace. In a few cases, I have caused myself pain just to see how long I could stand it, and in a few cases I have used automasochism to work off excess sexual energy (it works faster than masturbation for me).

As several people have already mentioned, causing yourself pain is a lot different than having someone else cause it, but I still think it can be a valuable tool for getting an idea of what you like and what you don't like or simply can't handle.

By the way, I am glad to see this topic pop up. In the few years I have been on collarme, bondage, and the Yahoo groups I belong to, I think this is the first time I have ever seen this discussed.

 

[Netzach]

Ok, masturbation isn't the same as partner sex. I'm not giving that up either.

I prefer needleplay on myself, but I'm a control freak. I had to be taught how to do it correctly by someone else doing it on me, so that also cancelled out the idea that I'd ever try it on my own before with another. M likes to do self-electrostim. I actually LIKE testing out canes on the inside of my thighs, but it's not really the same as being caned. Irritants (hot things, ginger figging etc.) are really good if you are trying to do something to yourself you can't control entirely. I'm not a serious pain-seeker, but I like the measure of control mixed with the sensation I can get when I do DIY pain.

 

[BiBunny]

I don't see why you can't get some idea of what you like and don't like by trying it out on yourself. Sure, most people aren't going to push themselves beyond their own comfort zones, so another person can give them sensations that are harder/more painful/more intense, but that doesn't mean you can't try it out to see if you like the sensations or not. If you don't like the way something feels at your own hand, you probably won't like it when somebody else does, either.

And, to answer the question, I've been known to engage in self-bondage and self-play when I go too long between my maso fixes. Something's gotta take the edge off.

 

[myinnerslut]

when i was younger i used to stike my palm with a hard plastic rod. i also uses hair clips in various places. ive been doing this since i was 6 or 7 so i dont thin its that wierd for you to want to. but then again, i have a biased opinion.

 

[sassy_2_see]

i think a bit of needle play on yourself may be enjoyable..

there's lots of nice pink bits to pierce.

.........wicked grin..........

 

[Nameless_Rose]

i think a bit of needle play on yourself may be enjoyable..

there's lots of nice pink bits to pierce.

.........wicked grin..........

Eek! no needles for me thanks. That's one of the things I'm a big wimp about.

 

[Pythoness]

I'm still laughing at the "repentant nun" comment! That's great!

Self-masochism usually doesn't do much for me. Not because I can't enjoy the sensation and endorphin rush but I can't completely let go and lose myself to the intensity of it the same way I can when someone else is giving me pain. I think a lot of the enjoyment, for me, stems from the intimacy of the act when I'm with a playmate. I always prefer being tied up during play and kind of deep trust that requires is a turn-on for me in and of itself. I also get an amazing emotional release and endorphin high from crying as well and can't manage that on my own.

The one way self-masochism really does do it for me is putting clothespins on my nipples. Makes masturbation even more fun/intense than usual.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Hmm, masochistic masturbation tips... Oh my.

Using a clip on your clit and then buzzing it with a vibe can cause escalating pain as you become more aroused. Disinfected thumb tacks in your asscheeks make paddling it more interesting. Putting your vibe/dildo/plug/whatever in the freezer before use and then alternating with another toy dipped in hot water is fun. Ginger is a good tool, as has been mentioned and can also be kept in the freezer or chopped into an icecube tray to heighten anticipation from a delayed kick.








You'd never guess I'd been in an LDR for the last few months, left alone for weeks at a time to find my own kicks. *sigh*

 

[LadyAria]

Ok, masturbation isn't the same as partner sex. I'm not giving that up either.

I prefer needleplay on myself, but I'm a control freak. I had to be taught how to do it correctly by someone else doing it on me, so that also cancelled out the idea that I'd ever try it on my own before with another. M likes to do self-electrostim. I actually LIKE testing out canes on the inside of my thighs, but it's not really the same as being caned. Irritants (hot things, ginger figging etc.) are really good if you are trying to do something to yourself you can't control entirely. I'm not a serious pain-seeker, but I like the measure of control mixed with the sensation I can get when I do DIY pain.

God bless needles.

 

[mickyp123]

buy a commercial butt plug and make a mold of it, then fill the mold with ginger puree and freeze it, then insert your "ginger" butt plug, and let the "base fall off, then like it or not you will have to put up with it until it melts, so you have total control of the situation until you let the base melt away.

You never know you might invent some new swear words lol


it was an idea i got for a story i am dreaming up

 

[wouldloveto]

I have just begun to experiment with it...

Clothes pins and other clips first...

some flogging...

it is OK, but nothing like having someone else causing it...

I do appreciate the suggestions I have gleaned from this thread.

 

[marieR19]

Although I agree that causing pain to yourself (oh, such bad grammar there!) is certainly not comparable to having someone else do it, I will add my 2 cents because I do the whole self-masochism thing too.

I admit that the first of my self-inflicted pain measures where back when I was a cutter, and that was not sexual or good in the least. But I did learn from that that I liked pain, beyond the cutting part.

I have very limited resources around this house, so I have to get creative. I like tying my feet with craft twine and pulling it until my toes are bent backwards... a little strange, I know, but it feels oh-so good.

I also like repeatedly hitting myself with a ruler or other hard object, I've found that my inner legs are especially sensitive to that.

I have to admit (while blushing) that I used to pull my own hair, because I loooove the feel of having my hair pulled.


Heather

 

[alexanna]

I'm not sure that self-masochism is even a word, but I'm making it one. I'm talking about purposely causing yourself pain. I've been trying to discover my masochistic side, and lacking a partner, I'm trying to do it myself. I'm finding it difficult to really test my limits, however. I just can't seem to really go to town on myself. I need to get over the self-preservation instinct, I suppose. Are there any other subs out there who have the same problem, or who have found some solutions to said problem? Any pain games that you play with yourself in order to test your limits?

I've tried self-flagellation, but the only area I can really reach is my back, and that gets boring. I feel too much like a repentant nun. I've also experimented with clothespins, but again, that gets boring after awhile. If anyone has any thoughts or ideas, I'd love to hear them.

Have you ever done a pussy wax on yourself? I love to do this and try to eroticize the pain and imagine I am doing it for someone special. Plus once the wax goes on, there's only one way to get it off so you can't cheat. I also love that it is tender for a few days afterward.

I have tried to spank myself but I let myself off way way too easy. I tried doing it over webcam with the direction of an online Dom and did it much harder and longer than I do when alone but found it very difficult. In many ways it just made me feel lonely to really have it in person. I very much enjoyed how I felt afterward and for the next couple of days but having to be so active during the actual spanking made it hard to eroticize and enter the right space.

 

[alexanna]

buy a commercial butt plug and make a mold of it, then fill the mold with ginger puree and freeze it, then insert your "ginger" butt plug, and let the "base fall off, then like it or not you will have to put up with it until it melts, so you have total control of the situation until you let the base melt away.

You never know you might invent some new swear words lol


it was an idea i got for a story i am dreaming up

Have you done it personally? This sounds scary and interesting...

 

[mickyp123]

Have you done it personally? This sounds scary and interesting...

I'm glad it sounds scary and interesting lol,.......but no i havent, not like that anyway

 

[Shankara20]

God bless needles.

for me, my needles are there for those times when I need pain and *sigh* fear and I have no lover to tend to me