Self injurers.

[arienette]

Did you post the lyrics...I'm too lazy to scroll back.

K's Choice - Not An Addict

Breathe it in and breathe it out
And pass it on, it's almost out
We're so creative, so much more
We're high above but on the floor

It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive
If you don't have it you're on the other side

The deeper you stick it in your vein
The deeper the thoughts, there's no more pain
I'm in heaven, I'm a god
I'm everywhere, I feel so hot

It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive
If you don't have it you're on the other side
I'm not an addict (maybe that's a lie)

It's over now, I'm cold, alone
I'm just a person on my own
Nothing means a thing to me
(Nothing means a thing to me)

It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive
If you don't have it you're on the other side
I'm not an addict (maybe that's a lie)

Free me, leave me
Watch me as I'm going down
Free me, see me
Look at me, I'm falling and I'm falling.

It is not a habit, it is cool I feel alive I feel...
It is not a habit, it is cool I feel alive

It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive
If you don't have it you're on the other side
I'm not an addict (maybe that's a lie)
I'm not an addict...

 

[Trinique_Fire]

Does the self injury in this thread apply only to cutters?

I'm no longer a cutter but I definitely have ways that I injure myself.

 

[arienette]

Does the self injury in this thread apply only to cutters?

I'm no longer a cutter but I definitely have ways that I injure myself.

Nope, all self mutilation mediums welcome.
We're thinking of starting a club, who's going to make the bumper stickers?

 

[Trinique_Fire]

Believe me I don't want bumper stickers or to join a club.

Laxatives are a great friend to me, as is sticking my finger down my throat. And of course, not eating. I drink as much water as possible so I pee all day. Doesn't matter if I eat or not. It still all applies.

 

[arienette]

Believe me I don't want bumper stickers or to join a club.

Laxatives are a great friend to me, as is sticking my finger down my throat. And of course, not eating. I drink as much water as possible so I pee all day. Doesn't matter if I eat or not. It still all applies.

Aurora mentioned these links on the first page.
http://www.something-fishy.org/isf/signssymptoms.php
http://www.something-fishy.org/dangers/dangers.php

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Nope, all self mutilation mediums welcome.
We're thinking of starting a club, who's going to make the bumper stickers?

Yes, all forms of self abuse are welcome.

Bumper stickers are only good if you can get a paper cut from them.

 

[arienette]

Yes, all forms of self abuse are welcome.

Bumper stickers are only good if you can get a paper cut from them.

*cringe* I hate paper cuts! They make me queasy; go figure...

 

[ABSTRUSE]

*cringe* I hate paper cuts! They make me queasy; go figure...

that and needles...shudder.

 

[arienette]

that and needles...shudder.

I don't have a fear of needles. I have a full-blown phobia. At 19 years old, I have had blood taken once and they had to prick my finger because I wouldn't stay still. When I had to get shots all of the nurses were needed to help hold me down and I still managed to punch one in the face.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I don't have a fear of needles. I have a full-blown phobia. At 19 years old, I have had blood taken once and they had to prick my finger because I wouldn't stay still. When I had to get shots all of the nurses were needed to help hold me down and I still managed to punch one in the face.

Even I'm not that bad!!

 

[arienette]

Even I'm not that bad!!

I know, it's impressive riiiight?

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I know, it's impressing riiiight?

Depressing really.

I think I'm outta blades...damn addiction. No wonder I'm going for a psycho exam.

 

[arienette]

Depressing really.

I think I'm outta blades...damn addiction. No wonder I'm going for a psycho exam.

Shut up.
I need blades.

 

[sweetjain]

I don't have a fear of needles. I have a full-blown phobia. At 19 years old, I have had blood taken once and they had to prick my finger because I wouldn't stay still. When I had to get shots all of the nurses were needed to help hold me down and I still managed to punch one in the face.

That makes sense. Self-harming, from what I've seen and the women I've loved who did it, has to do with regaining power from a situation of powerlessness. Having someone else put a needle in you is that situation of powerlessness replayed. Two of my girlfriends have been cutters for very different reasons and both of them had huge issues with needing to take and protect personal power over themselves.

The first girlfriend had a neglectful dad who only seemed to have any interest in her when she was causing him trouble. It was like anger and disappointment were the only emotions he had or could show. She tended to cut on her arms and wrists in visible places.

The second girlfriend had perfectionist parents and a verbally abusive mother.
She cut on her belly, trying to avoid notice, afraid that if her mother saw them it would be another thing to harp on her about.

Different patterns and different stresses or problems, but the scars looked the same.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Different patterns and different stresses or problems, but the scars looked the same.

So very true.

 

[Trinique_Fire]

I hardly eat. When I do, I take laxatives. But even on the days I don't eat, I still take laxatives. If I don't, I feel dirty, fat, disgusting.

Yay.

 

[Trinique_Fire]

For my mother

"Because Of You" -- Kelly Clarkson

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

 

[Trinique_Fire]

not a rant: a thank God

she took my lax's away. i told her i'd been taking them and she took them away. she turned into parent/domme/best friend mode and i wanted to cry. what i really wanted was someone to hold me and maybe shake me and hug me and ask me what was wrong with me that i thought i needed to do all that. i wanted someone to cry with me and wrap me up in blankets and talk about my hair, what books i'm reading, my obsession with fake tattoos...

but you did the best you could.

thanks for picking up my pieces again.

 

[arienette]

she took my lax's away. i told her i'd been taking them and she took them away. she turned into parent/domme/best friend mode and i wanted to cry. what i really wanted was someone to hold me and maybe shake me and hug me and ask me what was wrong with me that i thought i needed to do all that. i wanted someone to cry with me and wrap me up in blankets and talk about my hair, what books i'm reading, my obsession with fake tattoos...

but you did the best you could.

thanks for picking up my pieces again.

You are a very lucky girl to have someone like that, sweets.

 

[mismused]

delete

 

[arienette]

Found on Compuserv today:

Disturbing! 1 in 10 Teen Girls Do THIS

Fully 11 percent of teenage girls deliberately hurt themselves, an alarming problem that appears to be far more widespread than previously thought. Among boys, 3 percent hurt themselves on purpose.

That's the word from psychologists at Great Britain's University of Oxford and University of Bath, which surveyed more than 6,000 students who were 15 and 16 years old. Girls are four times more likely than boys to harm themselves, reports Reuters.

Why do they do it? The most common reason given by both boys and girls is that it's a way of coping with stress. It is more common in students who have been bullied and is strongly associated with physical and sexual abuse. In addition, as teens increase their consumption of alcohol, drugs and cigarettes, the incidence of deliberate self-harm also increases. Still, the majority of kids who said they hurt themselves admitted it was an impulsive act and not one given considerable thought.

Until now, health officials counted the number of self-harmers by the number of emergency room visits. That's not quite accurate. The UK researchers determined that only 13 percent of self-harming incidents result in a hospital visit, so emergency room personnel are only seeing a small fraction of these tragic cases.

The most common form of self-harm? It's poisoning, which is used by 64.5 percent, followed by overdosing, used by 31 percent, reports Reuters.

The next step? Officials need to devise ways to not only address the problem, but also identify those who are most at risk. "In many cases, self-harming behavior represents a transient period of distress, but for others it is an important indicator of mental health problems and a risk of suicide," lead study author Keith Hawton from the Centre for Suicide Research at the University of Oxford, said in a statement. The team found that teens who hurt themselves typically turn to their friends for support and help, so educating adolescents in how to respond is critical.

--From the Editors at Netscape

I definitely agree with the last sentence there, I would have really loved not to have gotten freaked out on by one friend I chose to tell about my cutting...Although she kind of 'found out' on her own by grabbing my arm one day and I flinched and screamed out in pain...That was when I was a freshman in high school, 5 years ago.

However, most people who deliberately self harm do not want to die, actually not posing that big of a risk of suicide.

 

[Trinique_Fire]

Found on Compuserv today:

Disturbing! 1 in 10 Teen Girls Do THIS

Fully 11 percent of teenage girls deliberately hurt themselves, an alarming problem that appears to be far more widespread than previously thought. Among boys, 3 percent hurt themselves on purpose.

That's the word from psychologists at Great Britain's University of Oxford and University of Bath, which surveyed more than 6,000 students who were 15 and 16 years old. Girls are four times more likely than boys to harm themselves, reports Reuters.

Why do they do it? The most common reason given by both boys and girls is that it's a way of coping with stress. It is more common in students who have been bullied and is strongly associated with physical and sexual abuse. In addition, as teens increase their consumption of alcohol, drugs and cigarettes, the incidence of deliberate self-harm also increases. Still, the majority of kids who said they hurt themselves admitted it was an impulsive act and not one given considerable thought.

Until now, health officials counted the number of self-harmers by the number of emergency room visits. That's not quite accurate. The UK researchers determined that only 13 percent of self-harming incidents result in a hospital visit, so emergency room personnel are only seeing a small fraction of these tragic cases.

The most common form of self-harm? It's poisoning, which is used by 64.5 percent, followed by overdosing, used by 31 percent, reports Reuters.

The next step? Officials need to devise ways to not only address the problem, but also identify those who are most at risk. "In many cases, self-harming behavior represents a transient period of distress, but for others it is an important indicator of mental health problems and a risk of suicide," lead study author Keith Hawton from the Centre for Suicide Research at the University of Oxford, said in a statement. The team found that teens who hurt themselves typically turn to their friends for support and help, so educating adolescents in how to respond is critical.

--From the Editors at Netscape

My old high school does FREE evening yoga classes for all elementary, middle, and high school kids in the area who want to attend. I think it's important to have a destresser, and to have adults listen to you! Wish it would have happened when I was still in school.

kudos to M.P.A.

 

[mismused]

delete

 

[Nirvanadragones]

A few links:

www.psyke.org

www.selfharm.net

www.self-injury.net

www.recoveryourlife.com

www.siari.co.uk

www.selfharmony.co.uk

 

[Nirvanadragones]

And a poem

Today I Feel Raw: Rachel Studley

Today I feel raw
stripped bare
defenceless

everything touches me
burrows deep inside, penetrates my core
then, expanding, it consumes me

their pain cuts mine into shreds
their anger leaves me burnt and reeling

pushing buttons
keys
like an infant on a piano, banging away
unaware of the doors
careless

I don’t want to feel this
I don’t want to feel anything

I want to run, hide from it all
lock myself away inside a padded cell
draw isolation around myself
like a comforting lover
sink deep inside its embrace

still though, I stay
though it all bears down on me
steals my breath
and fills my mind with panic

a tiny part remembers how it used to be
and why

I want my skin back